I am pretty shocked by how many people are experiencing the same thing. Social impairment is not really a symptom I've seen described in any other condition, unlike other POIS symptoms like brain fog, irritability, depression etc. It's unique enough that I wonder if our POIS cases have a common pathophysiology. It would be unlikely for two separate disease states to lead to the same rare symptom.
In addition to shock however, I feel very comforted that I am not the only one experiencing this. No one I have ever talked to in my life has understood this issue when I have explained it to them.
I have been thinking the last few days about how much these symptoms affect me. I have lived with them for so long that I don't really know any other life. But it is completely abnormal not to be able to socialize most of the time. I find that lack of meaningful social contact can lead to depression, and trouble maintaining and building friendships and relationships.
Hi Lookingforacure. I feel the same way. For me, I find socializing alot easier after 4 days of abstinence. I can still have a decent conversation during 2-4 days of abstinence and yes they can be awkward or "anxiety provoking" sometimes, but I try not stress out about it too much because I know it's POIS and not me. I'm glad to here I'm not the only with this problem! I was going to try Adderall on July, but I found out I was Vit D deficient on the same week, so I decided to go with Vit D treatment first before I tried it any medications like Adderall or clonezapam.
For me generally I became minimally functional in the 2-4 days period. As in, I won't make friends, but I also won't be painfully awkward and can deal with short interactions (though exercise can make this period much better). Around day 5 or 6, I typically get a pretty significant boost. From there on out, things are generally better, but can go pretty wild. Sometimes I can consistently have a couple weeks where I am feeling comfortable socially, but I also occasionally will find myself getting POIS symptoms, including social impairment, at random times during long periods of abstinence. I am trying to work out what triggers my orgasmless POIS symptoms.
I would strongly recommend at least giving adderall a try. While in the end, it wasn't a long-term solution for me, it comes in handy for job interviews and unexpected social events. My lack of consistent success with adderall may also have been because as I felt better, I masturbated more. As tolerance developed, its possible that the increase in POIS counteracted the positive effects of the adderall. I think there is a small chance that adderall could be a long-term solution if I avoided this pattern.
Also, you are very right not to stress out about these social situations. I find that I'm hard on myself sometimes. But I shouldn't be - I'm dealing with an extremely challenging illness and its not my fault if I struggle to converse sometimes!
LookingForACure, I get exactly the same symptom. Next to mood swings and fatigue, it's one of the worst symptoms for me. Thanks for describing it so succinctly.
The effect is really really strong as well -- I can go from sociable, funny and charming on my best days, to just a grumpy bore of a space cadet on my worst. I'm having a bit of success lessening my POIS symptoms these days, and social abilities is one of my main metrics for gauging how I'm doing, because the difference used to be so distinct.
This especially really hits the nail on the head for me:
On my good days out of POIS, I find that conversations 'feel' natural. I don't have to explicitly think of things to say, because the words come right to mind.
On a bad day, I can be in a conversation and my mind is just blank. No reply or conversation topic comes to mind naturally; I have to actively dig to find something to say, and it feels almost physically painful. I also have trouble parsing the words of anyone talking. It's as if the words just wash over me and don't really register. Even the sound of the voices can sound grating. Somehow tinny and reverberating.
Really good point that this is not the same as social anxiety. However, personally I do also have a bit of social anxiety, which I suspect comes from a subconscious fear of slipping into space cadet mode due to some sort of trigger I missed.
We definitely have the same issue. It's hard knowing who I'm capable of being, when only through great struggle can I manage to get a couple days a month at my best. I agree with the parsing issues as well. For me, this is not just auditory - it also applies to reading, or anything that requires information processing.
It's also interesting that you use social abilities to gauge POIS. For me, this is far and away the most reliable indicator, as I do not have physical symptoms. For a long time, I didn't know that I had any other symptoms!
I am curious what you have found most effective or reducing social POIS (or any POIS, if you find that your symptoms tend to correlate)? I see mentions in your history of mercury detox and an MCAS-friendly diet.
Same experience here. This social impairment seems to be linked, at least in my case, to a deprivation of energy, happiness, strength and mental alertness - an inability to 'feel' my moral, intellectual and physical strength, and the soft euphoria which normally accompanies this feeling. After an orgasm, I feel emptied, slowed down, weakened, and socially unfit, it seems closely connected. Too much of this and I have also 'true' social anxiety, which is also linked to the fact that since I have POIS my physical development seems to have brutally stopped, and I have developed a kind of social complex due to my physical inferiority to others.
I shall add however that this was my condition a few years ago. Now I have become so sensitive (POIS is triggered by a few seconds of arousal), and POIS episodes have become so long (many weeks) that I don't experience complete remission anymore, even after one year and a half of complete abstinence, and can barely remember what it was to be socially at ease, agreeable and happy. I miss the good ol' days of high school when I had friends and only needed not to masturbate for several days in order to be full of energy, joy and sociability...
Hi Prospero, I have great empathy for your condition. It can be very difficult to deal with a debilitating disease that only gets worse. I also, like you, get symptoms from arousal, though typically it must be prolonged. I have found that abstinence, though still helpful and necessary, is not as reliable for me as it used to be. There was a time when I felt great on day 3! Nonetheless, we must keep pushing for a solution.
It didn't *change* anything, but I became unable to get additional weight or muscle, and it looks like several parts of my body never fully developed (my chest,...). I'm 23 and I have the same weight and build as when I was 15 or 16, that is, when I began to experience symptoms that I now interpret as being the first signs of POIS. There were periods when I was trying to do some serious physical exercise in the meantime, though later on my POIS made me quite intolerant to sport, but it changed nothing. I did not gain a single kilogram. To be sure, I'm not 100% sure that POIS is responsible, but I've read that I'm not alone in that case here.
But it seems that we're digressing from the subject matter of the topic.
This to me sounds like a hormonal issue, which are a known cause of POIS. Its possible that the POIS didn't cause your slow development; rather, something like low testosterone caused both problems. Demografx, one of the main moderators on this forum, has dramatically reduced his symptoms with TRT. I would recommend reading this thread:
https://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=17.0
