Hello everybody
I would first like to tell a bit of my story and then ask a question of you guys
I have been dealing with POIS for almost ten years, symptoms being mainly extreme fatigue, difficulty concentrating, difficulty speaking, writing incoherently, impaired thinking in generel, dry/red eyes, dark lines under eyes and loads of dandruff. Symptoms last for about 7 days after O and it slowly starts improving after Day 2-ish. I am currently on Day 1 of a POIS-symptom-cycle, so I apologize for any incoherence in this post.
My POIS started in January 2011, and I only discovered that it might have something to do with masturbation/orgasm as of September/October of 2019. The way I discovered the connection was through thinking that
masturbating with too much tension might cause me to be more irritable, because I wasn't perhaps getting sexually satisfied (tensing legs etc. too much, resulting in orgasm very quickly). The result really surprised me, being that I after a few days was suddenly able to think much more clearly, my eyes stopped being dry/reddish, and I was able to articulate myself in ways that I hadn't consistently been able to since before 2011. This resulted in me later finding this forum and the overall diagnosis of POIS through googling something like "masturbation red eyes".
My problem currently is that
focusing on not tensing up during masturbation/orgasm only works most of the time - which means that I still haven't figured the cause of it out - other than that it seemingly is at least indirectly related to tensing up. Reading and searching for keywords on this forum and other places has resulted in me finding other accounts of something similar working. On a youtube video entitled "Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome" (by username person2207) a user named Jackxu123 posted a comment in 2015 that reads:
"I used to have fatigue, dry eyes, red eyes, low energy, sore throat, and feel anti-social after orgasm for 3-5 days. After reading and trying different things. I have now figured it out for myself. I paid attention to the release of cortisol in my body. Now after I orgasm I feel happy and good. And I actually have more energy the next day! This is what I did:
1. During sex, I paid attention to deep breathing, and I tried to feel my sexual energy. Where as before I am too preoccupied with the thoughts in my head, but now I try to yield to my sexual energy and stop thinking about trying to orgasm. (also i found it hard to watch hardcore/intense porn during this because it gets me to caught up with my thoughts, instead passionate/intense love type of porn works better to guide me to feel my sexual energy).
2. MINIMIZE CORTISOL RELEASE DURING ORGASM by avoiding valsalva and doing deep breathing and pay attention to the building and releasing of my sexual energy
3. Have a glass of water
4. (This is optional, I used to do this AFTER ORGASM but now I have managed my cortisol release during sex & orgasm, so I don't need to anymore) Post orgasm, try to minimize cortisol release by doing 2-3 minutes of deep breathing and paying attention to relaxing the body, followed by 5-10 minutes of yoga & deep breathing for further relaxation.
5. shower and feel happy This worked for me. Hopefully it may for someone else as well!
(Side note, I am a 4th year medical student, and I have not learned much about the allergic reaction to one's own sperm but it may be a cause for some, but more likely not unless your testicles are inflammed/swollen and in pain all the time. Cortisol release during sex ESPECIALLY ORGASM is likely the mailn culprit and reducing this stress response through breathing and self-relaxation during orgasm is key.)" (my emboldenment)
I really don't know about the cortisol connection, but what I note is that is that
relaxing, focusing on deep breathing and avoiding valsalva-like movement apparently fixed the issue for him.
A user name PotatoEd posted something similiar in a long post (his only on this forum) that includes this:
"I've known for years my breathing isn't the perfect deep-abdomen breathing and I became even more aware when I became extremely self-conscious when all of my body seemed to shut down. However, because of all the information I had come across, the focus wasn't there, until this theory started to take shape. I've tried a big O twice last saturday with the deep abdomen breathing in mind, and trying to find and keep that way of breathing where I didn't feel any pressure in my head and actually felt relaxed. The O's were definitely less intense, but a very satisfied feeling stayed for at least an hour afterwards, almost to be described as tripping out lol. Afterwards I wouldn't say I was fatigued, a bit tired, but I'd say that's perfectly normal (finally!!). I didn't have any plans for that night, but I felt like I could have gone to a party that same night without already feeling a hangover. The next day I went for a run, which went pretty good actually. In full POIS-mode I wouldn't even have gathered the motivation to put on my running shoes, or would have been exhausted/overheated after a mile or two, but besides my legs feeling a bit weak (low T perhaps), I was actually doing alright! First time in ages I felt alright after." (my emboldenment)
He never made another post so I hope that he was able to maintain his "cure" - and again it
seems like breathing and relaxing is the key to O'ing without triggering POIS.
We also have Carmack97 on this forum who claims to have eliminated his POIS through therapy with a sexologist:
"So, she told me to try to masturbate like this:
Put yourself in a comfortable position. Try to relax, you can meditate before (works well). Control your breath; take deep breath, relaxed, don?t hold your breath at any moment, even during orgasm. Your breathing must stay calm
Have you muscle relaxed during all the session: don?t flex your legs for example. This is classic! I heard so many people doing that, and I was also doing it. Keep all your muscle relaxed. This will make the sensation flow in all your body. Don?t flex also during orgasm.
Masturbate slowly and gently. Like if you were making the most passionate love of your life. At the same time, erotize vaginal penetration (or the other ones) you can erotize the penetration going at the same speed as your masturbate, that?s better, and again, slowly. There really is no need to go quickly or aggressively. Have a soft grip, don?t squeeze you dick.
You can also move your hip as if you were making love. Your hand doesn?t move; your penis moves in your hand. Try to move only the hips, not the body. As far as I understand, doing this create a deeper connection with your body. And it?s closer to real sex anyway
You can also use oil to make it more real. It makes it more intense. I didn?t understand why she told me this, but I do it for time to times and I guess it help having more fun and sensation. I don?t really do it anymore but maybe it can help some people using oil regularly.
So, try to do all those things. Focus on the sensation masturbation gives you in every part of your body, focus on them. At some point you?ll feel orgasm coming up, at that point don?t start to flex, don?t change your breath, don?t start to masturbate quicker, just let it come.
Of course, don?t use ANY artificial stimuli (porn, erotica, Instagram, etc.) use your mind only! Thinking about romantic sex was useful for me, because bit by bit i went away from porn fantasies.
To be honest I never really masturbated like that before. it was really new, and really really benefic. Of course, everything didn?t change at first, but now I try to masturbate like this every time, and this is for me the most important action which helped me." (my emboldenment)
Breathing and not tensing up is seemingly also a central part of Carmack's solution.
My question to you all is:
do you have any positive/negativ experiences and/or insights in regards to masturbating in a different way, focusing on breathing and not tensing up? As I mentioned earlier in this post I can usually make it 'work', i.e. avoiding POIS-triggering, through focusing on breathing and not tensing up too much during orgasm, but it is not 100 percent consistent.
A sidenote: a few weeks ago I tried to isolate the cause by holding my breath and tensing up as much as I could during masturbation, but avoiding reaching climax/acheiving orgasm. POIS did not get triggered (though sexual frustration certainly did
). This would imply that orgasm is indeed necessary (in my case at least) for triggering of POIS, but, as is reflected by my story, orgasm is not a sufficient condition in and of it self - somekind of tensing up/holding breath-behavior is also necessary.
Looking forward to hear your thoughts! Good day
Daniel
