Breaking up my relationship

[orlands]

Hello guys. Everythime I have sex with my girlfrind, I start to feel very tired, and I need to go home to be alone. The sex is so good and I like her to much, but after orgasm I really feel repulse and the need to be alone in my room, resting, or simply in the computer. I must be isolated, for some reason. I can't deal with social interations after orgasm.

She feels used. I think I had 5 girlfriends or so. Always the same. They feel the push-pull. I was being a prince charming, and than I ****boy who doesn't care. Yeah.. this is my life.

Yesterday I had sex with my girlfriend for hours... Today I feel very, very bad.. I feel chronic fatigue and I will feel that for days. I woke up and almost sent I message I wanted to break up with her. Yesterday I was saying that I love her so much and I want to be with her forever. But after orgasm I just want to never see her again since the was the source of me feeling so bad.

After her I never want to have a relationship again. Really. It does not worth it for me. I'm being punished for having sex, or spending time with a girl.

I feel sooooo good when I'm single and alone. I really love solitude, but then those urges... they are strong.. very strong. Since I can't masturbate, after 3 weeks I started being a women magnet... Every girl start to noticing me and my great energy, and the freak out wanting to have a relationship with me.. Then I have sex, and the whole cycle starts over and over again.

It ends up with girls going to psychiatric and starting anti depressive treatments, because the relationship ends when everything seems to be great and working just fine with lots of I love you and so on. But I don't even care for this. All I care is feeling good with myself. I want to let my gain go. The only way seems to be... Celibacy for life

[Nas]

Hey Orlands,
I think POISers have only two methods to live by until they can find a suitable remedy.
1- Celibacy as you mentioned
2- A serious relationship where the partner understands what you go through yet is will to commit to the relationship

Otherwise it's not a good idea to put women in emotional trauma by suddenly breaking off with them without at least telling them why.

[certainlypois2]

I am going to remove Gut's post until moderators decide what to do.

[demografx]

CP2, thanks for removing it!

[Investigator]

I would add there is a third lifestyle. After a POIS cycle and before O, I do have strong drive. Maybe for a day or two during the week, but then I sometimes meet girls and they find me attractive, I have lots of energy on such days. I sometimes meet the same girl many time on such well-timed days. Occasionally (and rarely - maybe once or twice a year), I hook up. One never knows, maybe one day I end up with a girl who is willing to understand and to support me. I don't want to rule this out and it keeps some of my life force.   

But it's always the same scenario that happens once I get laid. I ejaculate prematurely. Often I don't even make it in and if I do, there is no chance that I last even a minute. And then the girl proposes that we call it a one-night stand and that's it. Often we don't even try for a second time (this is a relief for me); once a girl did want a second time, but I couldn't get aroused, I really have no sexual drive for a few days after an O. She then said she wants to call it only a one-night stand. This is relief for me, I don't feel I have to explain anything. But to be on the ethical side, if a girl is nice and supportive, I would be willing and ready to explain it so she doesn't feel she is not attractive as the reason for my lack of interest in a second erection. I have not shared my POIS with any girl so far.

Last time, a girl even left my place after my PE, didn't stay for the night. I used the occasion to eat lots of garlic and accidentally, I got no POIS, just this one time. (for me garlic brings reduction, I've started it recently.)

The reason for the PE is that if I know I will meet a girl on a date with chance to have sex, of course, I don't ejaculate for as much as possible before that, maybe 4-5 days (not too much, though, in order not to get a NE the night before, that would be a disaster) so I have energy during the date.  The only way I can imagine not having a PE is if it is a second orgasm on a day - but I avoid these, for lack of sexual drive and fear of strong POIS.

It is true, though, that I've had quick erections all my life, even before POIS. Now with POIS, it got worse, can't even make it in, even when I have the chance once or twice a year.   

So yes, this is a third lifestyle item I can add to Nas's list of two. The benefit is that you keep living and with your drives as much as you can, even though not all days of the week. And you know that you haven't given up.

[Nas]

The reason for the PE is that if I know I will meet a girl on a date with chance to have sex, of course, I don't ejaculate for as much as possible before that, maybe 4-5 days (not too much, though, in order not to get a NE the night before, that would be a disaster) so I have energy during the date.  The only way I can imagine not having a PE is if it is a second orgasm on a day - but I avoid these, for lack of sexual drive and fear of strong POIS.

It is true, though, that I've had quick erections all my life, even before POIS. Now with POIS, it got worse, can't even make it in, even when I have the chance once or twice a year.   

Not really, if you have PE then you have PE. It doesn't matter if you masturbate the day before you'll ejaculate prematurely. I believe this has something to do with POIS itself. I similar to you can have very quick erections. I believe that in our case there could be a form of hyper arousal, or some sort of hypersensitivity to arousal.

Tell me, investigator, do you get POIS symptoms after smoking cigarettes?

[Investigator]

I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, I just don't know what the effect would be.

How do people with classical PE treat it? This is a pretty common condition, 2-5% of men have it. I know about the pills or creams that slow down the erection, but I also know that it is controversial whether they are harmless or not. I've never tried these. Maybe I should. But in my case with only one-night stands, I don't even know beforehand if I'll be having sex or not, so doesn't make sense to take a pill.

[Investigator]

And to Orlands I would say: tell her. This can't hurt. It can't get worse.

[Nas]

I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, I just don't know what the effect would be.

How do people with classical PE treat it? This is a pretty common condition, 2-5% of men have it. I know about the pills or creams that slow down the erection, but I also know that it is controversial whether they are harmless or not. I've never tried these. Maybe I should. But in my case with only one-night stands, I don't even know beforehand if I'll be having sex or not, so doesn't make sense to take a pill.

I'm not well versed in PE since I didn't treat it my self. But I heard SSRI's are the most successful. There are other natural methods like pelvic muscle exercises, but I didn't try them yet.

[orlands]

Update: I broke up with her. I don't miss her.
The urge got so strong that I masturbated and felt like shit. Because before that at least I was having sex. Now I totally destroyed my energy by masturbating.
What a nom sense that I'm living. lol
I need to fight my urges with all my heart

[demografx]

I need to fight my urges with all my heart

For me, that often doesn’t work if it’s anxiety-tinged. Works better for me when done relaxedly, but still purposeful

Best wishes.

[Gino]

Hi orlands,

One thing all men can practice, if you have PE or not, are Kegel exercises. You can last long as you want!

Just like any exercise it's a daily routine and you need to build up strength over a few weeks. The results are well worth the effort.

Start with isolating the muscle group. Then after a few days you can achieve around 10 to 20 quick 'holds' per set. Then after a week or two you can level-up to longer holds. Aim to hold (squeeze) that muscle for up to 60 seconds and repeat until exhaustion. Once you can hold indefinitely you should be able to last longer in bed than her.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/mens-health/in-depth/kegel-exercises-for-men/art-20045074

From experience, lasting longer than your partner means you can choose to not to climax during sex. This is ideal for men with POIS. However your partner may question why you don't want to finish.

If you have found someone trusting, then this is the best time to explain POIS since presumably the experience with you was already very good.

Interestingly, her reaction could go one of two ways:

(1) She doesn't believe you (since POIS is unheard of) and then questions if you're conserving yourself to see someone else. Or,

(2) She appreciates your honesty and understands that climaxing may result in:
- you disappearing into a dark and quiet room for a few days;
- social contact with you could be met with a strange/negative/irritated mood until the symptoms have passed;
- things like going to work or attending any social event is near impossible - not an ideal outcome for either of you.

But, if you're lucky enough then taking niacin or nanna1's stack before sex means you can still finish but without experiencing POIS symptoms (or less symptoms). Follow the directions carefully for best results.

If you're really lucky, you'll find someone who appreciates your honesty and is willing to workaround potential symptoms. This could especially be the case if you put a lot of effort into the kegel exercises for both your enjoyment!

[Guts]

Hi orlands,

One thing all men can practice, if you have PE or not, are Kegel exercises. You can last long as you want!

Just like any exercise it's a daily routine and you need to build up strength over a few weeks. The results are well worth the effort.

Start with isolating the muscle group. Then after a few days you can achieve around 10 to 20 quick 'holds' per set. Then after a week or two you can level-up to longer holds. Aim to hold (squeeze) that muscle for up to 60 seconds and repeat until exhaustion. Once you can hold indefinitely you should be able to last longer in bed than her.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/mens-health/in-depth/kegel-exercises-for-men/art-20045074

From experience, lasting longer than your partner means you can choose to not to climax during sex. This is ideal for men with POIS. However your partner may question why you don't want to finish.

If you have found someone trusting, then this is the best time to explain POIS since presumably the experience with you was already very good.

Interestingly, her reaction could go one of two ways:

(1) She doesn't believe you (since POIS is unheard of) and then questions if you're conserving yourself to see someone else. Or,

(2) She appreciates your honesty and understands that climaxing may result in:
- you disappearing into a dark and quiet room for a few days;
- social contact with you could be met with a strange/negative/irritated mood until the symptoms have passed;
- things like going to work or attending any social event is near impossible - not an ideal outcome for either of you.

But, if you're lucky enough then taking niacin or nanna1's stack before sex means you can still finish but without experiencing POIS symptoms (or less symptoms). Follow the directions carefully for best results.

If you're really lucky, you'll find someone who appreciates your honesty and is willing to workaround potential symptoms. This could especially be the case if you put a lot of effort into the kegel exercises for both your enjoyment!

90 % you wrote is based on luck
Also when people accept it right now it doesn't mean they will be next few years.

Living with pois is pure hell..just accept it..

Thinking your life will be like anyone else...no...special rules apply to you unfortunately..

Some people start hating god for their situation...those people are ignorant..just look around what has happened and still is happening around the world today...its all including this world , all created by satan

Pois is a satanic disease and turns everyoned life in a miserable hell. Pois is animal torture

[Gino]

Hi Guts,

You're absolutely right. Luck dealt me and you this hand. Many days, weeks and even years of my life are hell. It has definitely taught me about anguish and suffering.

Unlike some really unlucky people I know, my POIS is a relatively temporary affliction. After a week I'm essentially a person again. I still have my arms and legs and can work part time or in a flexible job.

Here's the thing about luck:

In the game of poker I've learnt to selectively play what I've been given. It's rare, but sometimes during the year my pair of 2's turns into a full house. I have the opportunity to relate to someone else's grief and sorrow and know how to console and carry them through their pain. Then there are those times in business when things get tough - competitors might fold their hands too early, not realizing the value they threw away. But I can easily push on since the pressures are nothing compared to decades of silent POIS torture, coming out on top.

It's a lame quote, but relevant here: Nothing in life that is of value comes easy. For us the bar is set to a higher standard.

I hope you've also enjoyed playing poker with friends (not at a casino). It's full of lessons I use every day.

If you're into audio books, try 'Thinking In Bets'. It helps distinguish 'decision quality' from luck.

Relating this back to POIS, these days I know to postpone making any decisions on a POIS week. That means I control my luck. I also know not to get drawn into any arguments because my mood is so destructive that I will regret the things I say... if I can even remember what I said.

Here's the book if you're interested:
 
https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Thinking-in-Bets-Audiobook/B078SBS7VC?qid=1564750138&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=771c6463-05d7-4981-9b47-920dc34a70f1&pf_rd_r=ZF13CQKEYCKJS2QR0MMZ&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1

[demografx]

...Some people start hating god for their [POIS] situation...those people are ignorant...

...all created by satan...

...Pois is a satanic disease...

Luck dealt me and you this [POIS] hand...

This forum is not oriented toward “religious” explanations.

Or “luck”.

We are only looking for POIS explanations that are scientifically and medically grounded.

Thank you.

[Guts]

I think you have a biblical definition of god and satan...i don't do religious experiences either

https://youtu.be/sqmwJAVYs5E

[demografx]

Then please stop using popular religious language. Thanks.

[ElVelero]

This thread kind of worried me since I don't want to have that life, I want to have a gf and have a normal life

[Nas]

This thread kind of worried me since I don't want to have that life, I want to have a gf and have a normal life

Be worried, I'm thinking everyday of ways to off my self. It's causing me an irreversible isolation cycle. Honestly I need a miracle cause other wise I don't how my future is going to be.

[certainlypois2]

This thread kind of worried me since I don't want to have that life, I want to have a gf and have a normal life

There are many people here in relationships even long term relationships so that is not your destiny.
Communication will also go a long way, to reduce alot of the strain caused by pois in a relationship.