Author Topic: Girlfriend of a POISser, how can I talk to him about treatment?  (Read 272 times)

Didi

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 12
I am very relieved for expressing myself in this forum.

Me and my boyfriend live in Mexico. He does not speak english. I do, but I may make some mistakes on my writing.

Our story first.


He have been toguether for 3 years. And we had a breakeup on september 2021. We are together again since november 2021.
The reason was mainly POIS but he had been depressed for like tree motnhs before.

At the very beginning of the relashionship he told me abou having problems with sex. He was my first couple whom I had intmiacy with.
So I did not have a point of reference to tell what was the normal state after sex.
I have to say that we two have spiritual bealifes. So He told me it was related to the waste of energy in sex. And he thought that all male had those problems. But they did not talk about that.

We hand it well for some time by abstinaiting or stoping before eyaculation. But some times we did not see each other because he was very tired. He told me that it was because of work. And I always understood that. (I think many time it was related with POIS).
I love him so much I think we communicate much more better and we se each other twice a week since the new start of the relation ship.
He had told me I am the best girlfriend he has ever had. That he wanted to be with me many more years that he could not promise being always toguether but that he will give me the best of him. He is 34 and I 28.
We have no many problems apart from POIS. Only that POIS had affected his life at work. He does not have an stable job. So somitems there have been problems with money for him. On a good time for him he proposed me to live together but months later He told me that we could not have sex or only like once a year. I accepted but that was when I discoverd POIS (in the 2nd year of our relationship) but it did not happend.

His symtomps (as I can describe for what he told me and I have seen but maybe slightly different)

Fatigue
Brain frog
Irritability (Even though he have not been agressive with me or very little)
Sometimes flu and eye symptoms
Depressed mood (I do not know how much of it)
Duration: 5 days sometimes acummulative with eyaculation and sometimes not.
Started at 17 years
He had told me that on teenage he watched much porn (I do not judge anyone because of that)

His treatment
Whenwe got back I encourage him to see a doctor. He is urologist and andrologist. He knew about POIS. He said he knew about 2 other patients. And he said the treatment was very specific for each patient.
the dr tested testosterone levels (He did not found problems) blood preasure during eyaculation with a special device an he said he will test neurotransmisors but I do not know how.
He tried paroxetina for two weeks it did not reduce the symtomps but it helped to have a longer erection.
Then the treatment was changed to triptophan 5htp (3 weeks of treatment by now). I was happy because he told me about having less days with POIS.
But the last eyaculation when the blood pressure was tested he told me he felt very bad. That was twoo days ago. Today he have not answered my message on whatssapp. I do not want to pressure him.

Here is the question.
 Is it better to talk to him after POIS has gone?
Should I suggest other treatments. I read about sexual thrapy on this forum. I think it is an option.
He is hoping that with the neurotransmisors test the dr will know what is the cause and treatment for him. We shoul wait? It may be the next week. He is quite tired about the tests with eyaculation.
I am afraid of him being hopeless and giving up and about braking up again.

Poisers and partners please give me advice
« Last Edit: June 03, 2022, 11:00:16 AM by demografx »

Muon

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2615
    • MCAD Thread
Re: Gilrfriend of a POISser, how can I talk to him about treatment?
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2022, 07:07:26 PM »
Here are a few important threads:
https://twitter.com/Orgasmicillness/status/1508522541241057293?cxt=HHwWmoC-5cfQrO8pAAAA

Wait for neurotransmitter test and keep trying treatments after that. It is always better to talk when POIS symptoms are minimized. During POIS he might be rude. 2nd day after orgasm is the worst moment in general.
« Last Edit: June 01, 2022, 07:34:53 PM by Muon »

Quantum

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1616
Re: Gilrfriend of a POISser, how can I talk to him about treatment?
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2022, 08:11:56 PM »
Hi Didi,
First, congratulations on your genuine care for your boyfriend !  You seem to be a kind and understanding person, and this is what it takes if your boyfriend has POIS.
When you feel that he is easily irritated, it may be better to let him some space, until his POIS symptoms are less severe. Usually, the first and second day of POIS are the worst, and then it slowly gets better. 

That is great if he finds something that shortens the duration of his POIS attacks, and makes the symptoms less severe.  You will see if 5-HTP continues to be beneficial or not.
Tell him also that a healthy diet is also helping.  It is better to stay away from refined sugars like soda and chocolate, and not eat junk food.  Instead, he should include more fruits and vegetables in his diet.  Some members also avoid gluten, and some others avoid dairies or alcohol, but it depends on personal digestive intolerances.
There are some simple methods members have found to be useful to avoid POIS.  For example, taking niacin before sex, and waiting for the flush to occur, and having sex and ejaculating after that.  It does not work for everyone, but some members have no symptoms when they do that.  It is one of the methods that he can try.  You can find other methods listed here:  https://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=2338.msg19448#msg19448 .
I am in the same relationship for over 30 years now, so it is possible to adapt to POIS.  But you need compassion and understanding. 

For work, it can be a problem when he has severe symptoms, so he must find something that at least reduces his symptoms so that he can work despite having POIS.  At the least, he should abstain from sex when working the day after.
Do not hesitate to come back and ask questions !




You are 100% responsible for what you do with anything I post on this forum and of any consequence it could have for you.  Forum rule: ""Do not use POISCenter as a substitute for, or to give, medical advice" Read the remaining part at http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=1.msg10259#msg10259

Didi

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 12
Re: Gilrfriend of a POISser, how can I talk to him about treatment?
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2022, 08:52:43 PM »
Here are a few important threads:
https://twitter.com/Orgasmicillness/status/1508522541241057293?cxt=HHwWmoC-5cfQrO8pAAAA

Wait for neurotransmitter test and keep trying treatments after that. It is always better to talk when POIS symptoms are minimized. During POIS he might be rude. 2nd day after orgasm is the worst moment in general.

Many thanks.
I ll be patient and wait I also think it ees the best. It is fairy axious for me but you are right

Didi

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 12
Re: Gilrfriend of a POISser, how can I talk to him about treatment?
« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2022, 09:30:42 PM »
Many thanks quantum your story gives me hope.
I missed some questions.
I have been looking for stories about treatment with ISSR like paroxetine. But it is difficult to find them. Could someone tell me where they are please?
And who else have tested their neurtrasmiters? How they were measured?
I understand that it is going to be during eyaculation but I have searched and have not found anyting like that.

demografx

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6059
  • All of us working together to defeat POIS!
Re: Girlfriend of a POISser, how can I talk to him about treatment?
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2022, 11:33:43 AM »

Hi Didi,

First, congratulations on your genuine care for your boyfriend !  You seem to be a kind and understanding person, and this is what it takes if your boyfriend has POIS.


Hi Didi,

I just wish to convey here my exact same sentiments to you, as Quantum so well expressed above!

Best wishes,
Demo
« Last Edit: June 03, 2022, 11:01:20 AM by demografx »
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business