I just discovered POIS is a thing. Now I need to stop.

[tinmoil]

Hello all,

I'm a 17-year-old male (18 next week) struggling with POIS symptoms for months that I've noticed but probably years. I made the link between ejaculation and feeling fatigued/generally awful next day about six months ago, but only this week discovered POIS is an actual condition. Immediately, I think I have it.

Since January, I've tried to quit my despicable addiction to masturbation several times and successively failed. In March, I made some headway and achieved 16 days. Then I ruined it all over the period of the past two weeks with regular masturbation. Longest I've managed is just under 30 days I think. I'm now on a 4-day-streak and need to extend this indefinitely because the effects of POIS and the self-loathing of relapsing are crippling me and my work.

This past week has been really rough, what with tearing myself up for ruining my streak on several occasions. As I said I'm now four days in and physically this has been the worse day; I suffer particularly from my eyes and today one is visibly bright red and stinging strongly.

The symptoms I now attribute to POIS are:
 - Fatigue for a week
 - Painful, red eyes 3 - 7 days
 - Occasional pain at the top of the back/bottom of neck
 - Nasal congestion
 - Terrible concentration
 - Short-term memory issues
 - General tiredness and inability to function - weakness of body and mind
 - Social issues - I'm naturally an introvert and don't care much for trying to be social, but in those 16 days I was astounded I actually became noticeably more involved - people even commented so
 - Irritability, even when I'm telling myself to be kind to others because I'm the one destroying myself

Many of these I hadn't noticed or linked until I stumbled upon POIS this week while searching for fatigue and red eyes after masturbation. I believe my root issue is this futile weakness and addiction to masturbation - I despise it, I loath it, I long to be free of it and I've known for months it's destroying my productivity and outlook on life and yet I still find myself doing it, saying it'll be fine, nothing will happen, and then minutes I'm destroying myself with negative thoughts, and the next day the physical symptoms ruin my performance in all areas of my life that matter.

You guys here have probably heard all this before. I'm not interested - I'm writing this so I can admit it to myself and hold myself to account in the future. I need to quit this because the brain fog, the eyes, the concentration issues and the continual congestion are crippling. I'm so thankful this community exists, along with /r/pois, because after reading posts here and there for a couple of hours it's clear to me this can be solved if I help myself forwards. If you have any tips I'd very interested to hear.

In my browsing I've also noticed there's suggestion of a link between POIS and gluten. I have coeliac disease so wonder if this makes me more susceptible to this condition. I also learnt histamine plays a role in it, so I've taken hay fever tablet in the cupboard in the hope it'll relieve some symptoms sooner. No effect as of yet.

I see POIS symptoms usually take 2-9 days to disappear so I'm really hoping in a few days I'll be feeling better. We'll see, I can report back on progress. For me this is a despicable and abject nofap struggle that I'm ruining for myself when I am resilient in every other way. It's compounded by POIS and the symptoms which all make each other worse. As I struggle to get the sleep I need even when I've not being drowned by POIS, everything has built up to the intolerable level today. I need to be held to account for myself and that's why I'm posting all this here. The insomnia is worsening the fatigue, which is worsening the red eyes which I get anyway sometimes if I'm tired, and the tiredness is also making me less mentally strong and making it harder to overcome the thoughts of sex/masturbation. I'm stuck in a cycle of despair right now and I'm looking for a way out. Finding POIS has given me some relief though - I know where these symptoms are coming from now and it's clear I can get out of them. I'm 4 days in and it's my intention not to ever reset that counter to 0, at least not until I meet a partner. Which judging by experience I won't unless I get the social confidence I need to quit POIS to attain.

Regards to everyone here,
tinmoil

[Quantum]

Hi Tinmoil, and welcome to the poiscenter forum.

The symptoms you describe are consistent with POIS, indeed.

I would suggest you to click on this link and take a look at my POIS Types Chart.  It lists many relief methods that have been useful to members here.

You mention your use of antihistamines.  You will see there is a antihistamine type, with a precise protocol, with some variations, that has been helpful for at least 3 members.   There are many other possible sources of relief, too.  While abstaining as much as possible is useful to reduce symptoms, it is not always possible, so having some way to relief your POIS symptoms, even just in part, really improves our quality of life.

Don't hesitate to ask questions that may arise about any of these methods, or about POIS in general.

[Daveman]

Welcome Tinmoil!

This is your place. And yes there are many others suffering the same. You are not crazy!

It will probably take you a while to read over the information in the forum. There are a variety of different things that people have found to reduce their symptoms, it seems that some things work for some and not for others, I don't thinks we've really found anything that works for everybody. But you should find a lot of interesting information on the forum.

[Going less Crazy]

Interesting.  I most likely have celiac but I have no symptoms (pois) on my diet.  It's grain/dairy free as opposed to gluten free.  I've always thought my pois to be a symptom of celiac if I wasn't eating correctly but you still feel symptoms?

[demografx]

Tinmoil...Welcome to POISCenter!



Tinmoil, I would strongly recommend your starting with not using words like "despicable" to describe your sexual reactions.

Sex is such a powerfully strong, primitive, driving force that even well-meaning yogis or monks in monasteries cannot fully control it.

Once you ACCEPT and recognize that, by "riding the wave of desire" and not fighting it, you may actually find it easier to abstain. Our "fight or flight" primitive natures actually make it easier to succumb to sexual desire.

Calling yourself names/downgrading yourself simply makes it worse: you will instinctively look for RELIEF by fighting your so-called despicable nature. A vicious circle. Why? Because you can't "win", psychologically speaking.

I have NO GUARANTEE the above will work for you. But it has helped SOME people.

Start with the posts above from some of our most active POISCenter contributors (Quantum, Daveman, Going Less Crazy: you got our attention!! and also the wonderful resources you have at your disposal starting with our Welcome Page:
http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=1.msg19710#msg19710

Best wishes for a POIS-free future, Tinmoil!!
Yours,
Demo

[Going less Crazy]

I agree with demo.  You're still pretty young and I was at your stage of thinking at some point.  However, as demo said you learn that their is no use beating yourself up for something that is as natural to the body as air or water.  If it happens, it happens.  Yes, it is still better to abstain for this problem but beating yourself up in another area (psychologically) will just make the problem harder.  You have to realize every male you see on this planet most likely O's weekly if not daily.  So I think it's better to have O's at planned intervals, while taking some determent measure to combat POIS. Good luck.

[demografx]

Thanks for your very helpful words, GLC (Tinmoil, that's our acronym for our beloved Going Less Crazy )

[tinmoil]

Thank you all for your support - apologies I haven't returned to this thread in a while.

I've now abstained for well over two weeks and all symptoms are now much better; the rest I can attribute to regular tiredness from my lifestyle. Brain fog is gone and I can think clearly again so now I just need to keep it this way.

I'll keep you posted on updates and thanks for the advice on not totally beating myself up.

tinoil

[tinmoil]

Interesting.  I most likely have celiac but I have no symptoms (pois) on my diet.  It's grain/dairy free as opposed to gluten free.  I've always thought my pois to be a symptom of celiac if I wasn't eating correctly but you still feel symptoms?

Yes, I'm on a well-managed coeliac diet and am sure I still face symptoms from POIS.
It's interesting you thought your POIS to be a symptom of coeliac - what do you face from POIS? Ingesting gluten can cause some POIS symptoms, like brain fog and red/itchy eyes, itself if you are coeliac. I'm a super-sensitive diagnosed coeliac; from what doctors told me when I was diagnosed (10+ years ago) my gluten tolerance levels are exceptionally low so even a tiny amount that may not impact other diagnosed coeliacs could be major consequences for me. I don't know because I'm very careful in everything I eat

[demografx]

...thanks for the advice on not totally ever beating myself up.

Just made a minor edit above

[Going less Crazy]

Interesting.  I most likely have celiac but I have no symptoms (pois) on my diet.  It's grain/dairy free as opposed to gluten free.  I've always thought my pois to be a symptom of celiac if I wasn't eating correctly but you still feel symptoms?

Yes, I'm on a well-managed coeliac diet and am sure I still face symptoms from POIS.
It's interesting you thought your POIS to be a symptom of coeliac - what do you face from POIS? Ingesting gluten can cause some POIS symptoms, like brain fog and red/itchy eyes, itself if you are coeliac. I'm a super-sensitive diagnosed coeliac; from what doctors told me when I was diagnosed (10+ years ago) my gluten tolerance levels are exceptionally low so even a tiny amount that may not impact other diagnosed coeliacs could be major consequences for me. I don't know because I'm very careful in everything I eat

My pois basically involves brain inflammation on an unimaginable level causing all sorts of mood and brain fog problems.  However, it basically has went away since going grain/dairy free (other foods of course).  I have a diet thread if you want to look at it.    Gluten free wasnt enough for me.  If you feel great on a gluten free diet that's good but there is evidence that Celiac's react to other grains as well such as corn and dairy, and it can be personal reactions.  I was undiagnosed for 10 years so that's why I probably have so many sensitivities.  My immune system probably tagged corn, brown rice, anything with prolamines or overeaten as sensitivities.  I'm even very sensitive to eggs.

Nexvax 2 is somewhat of a hope though (fingers crossed).  I'm also super sensitive.  Just had a different brand of raw meat you'd expect to be gluten free and it hit me hard.  I noticed powdery stuff when I pan cooked it and didn't think much but there must have been gluten from that cause I am hurting bad. 

[tinmoil]

I relapsed, without even meaning to, while telling myself not to. Well that failed abysmally after just shy of three weeks.

Time to restart the counter and remember the consequences again I guess. While trying to view it somewhat positively instead of sheer self-destruction. POIS symptoms are back for the next little while.

[Quantum]

Hi Tinmoil,

Three weeks of abstinence is great, congrats.   

It is not possible, usually, at a younger age, to abstain for months on months, and eventually, a NE ( nocturnal emission) will happen by itself.   So,  suggest you "time" your releases once in a while, at a moment you know you will have a couple of day to recover, and that there will be no important events, like no exam, no social vent, or the like.   It is better to plan a release in a quiet period than stretching your abstinence strike to long, and have to deal at an incoveninet moment with the effect of an unwanted NE, or an unwanted "relapse", as you call it.

If, in addition to that, if you know what supplements are safe and effective for you and help moderate your POIS symptoms, and that you take them 1 hour to 30 minutes before release, or the way you have fund them to be of help, that will lower even more the impact of the "POIS cycle", and your life becomes more normal.

Lowering the frequency of your ejaculations will always be helping, unless you find an efficient way to totally control your POIS, and that has been rare among the members, so far, so most are having release the least often possible, and add a kind of control method to lower the effects.  ( If you want examples of what members do as relief methods, see at http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=2338.msg19448#msg19448  .  Note that no one single method works for everybody, and consult your health advisor before trying any of these when supplements or medications are implied )

[demografx]

I relapsed, without even meaning to, while telling myself not to. Well that failed abysmally after just shy of three weeks.

Time to restart the counter and remember the consequences again I guess. While trying to view it somewhat positively instead of sheer self-destruction. POIS symptoms are back for the next little while.

Excellent self-advice, tinmoil!!!