I'm absolutely tired of testing countless supplements and combinations to try and mitigate the symptoms. Nothing seems to work, or at the least works for a small amount of time during the beginning, then the effectiveness gradually wears off. I'm sick of it. All of it.
I've wrestled with myself to control my libido to try and actually live in order to progress but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling guilty for 'lusting' in the moment, and having to pay for days at a time. I've tried abstaining, for days, weeks, months. Nothing changes.
I've really tried thinking about how long this has plagued me. At least 10 years. I can't imagine dealing with this shit for another 10 years. This disease, reaction, whatever the hell it is, literally robs time from us. I don't care if I'd have to spend half my salary to manage the symptoms. But I'm tired of shooting endless blanks hoping that something else will work. What's worse, many of these 'solutions' take weeks or months to truly display their effectiveness.
I've tried countless supplements, abstaining, cold showers, meditation, HIIT exercises, strength training, protein, edging, fasting, drinking gallons of water a day, eliminating dairy, eliminating sugar, eliminating bread...Makes no difference.
I just needed to vent I guess. I can't imagine how I'm going to continue dealing with the symptoms. The irritability, snappiness, short attention span, shakiness, insomnia. It's too much to handle. I look at other people or friends, and see how they're actually living. They may have their struggles, but probably not on our scale.
I feel gipped, and it's making me more bitter by the day.
Anyway, I figure I'll post my observations here to make this post relatively worthwhile:
- I have had cystic acne for a chunk of my adolescent life. Long story short, I think it's hormone related. DHT? Who the hell knows. All I know is that when I release, my acne gets way worse. What's interesting is that I can abstain for weeks and still have cystic acne flares.
- Another DHT point: I've experimented with taking 3g of Creatine which supposedly increases DHT, and can feel my mood shift to a more aggressive side. Interestingly, this aggression effect kind of feels like how I feel after a release. I've read other members theorizing about high DHT being a culprit, but nothing solidified.
- Quercetin helps reduce my itchy/dry eyes after release. 500mg capsule.
- Black Tea helps calm me down enough to focus on something. Teabag.
- Green tea makes me super edgy after release. Teabag.
- Vitamin C has little effect. 1g capsule.
- B-complex seems to help a little, 1g capsule, I believe.
- Whey protein seems to help a little, 90-180g per day (powder.)
- Saw Palmetto seems to help overall, 450mg capsule.
- Vitamin D helped when I was starting to use it. A month in and I feel like the effectiveness has gone down. 5000iu. I've gone up to 15k, same thing.
- L-Arginine: 3g, no effect but feels good before a workout.
- Caffeine: 8oz black coffee feels stimulating but follows with an incredible amount of anxiety.
- L-Theanine: inconsistent effectiveness for irritability. 200mg I believe.
- Niacin: worked great, not as effective. 1g capsule.
Other observations:
When I feel good. Like...80% good, mentally and physically, my urine has 0 foam. It comes out clean.
Immediately following a release my urine becomes frothy for a couple of days.
I have some prostate pain following a release. Nothing crippling, but definitely there.
I have been at 18-20% Body fat for years despite endurance training. I track calories, and am aware that I could always eat more protein, but I can never seem to lose weight. I've hit a ridiculous plateau.
A big chunk of my bodyfat has to be on my stomach. If I get into a push-up position, my stomach has a chunk of....fat that hangs down. It's not the jiggly kind either, it's like a brick. No idea how to get rid of it. I don't eat sugar. It's like my system is backed up in that area.
Additionally, I know I have digestive issues. I've been lactose intolerant but have recovered, I occasionally get constipated. I feel like the amount I excrete does not match the amount of food I ingest.
After a release, I sometimes go the whole following day without using the restroom (#2). It's like the release puts my system on pause. By the 2nd day, my movements are normal again.
That's all I can think of at the moment. Just wanted to vent and share some my experience. Now I'm off to get 4 hours of crappy sleep.
