Can I marry?

[zeynali900]

I have experienced that if I masturbate once a month, I will have mild or no POIS. So I hope to marry, but do girls accept only having sex once a month?

[notmythirdaccount]

I have experienced that if I masturbate once a month, I will have mild or no POIS. So I hope to marry, but do girls accept only having sex once a month?

I'd imagine it depends on the woman. The best ones will work with you around your issues, rather than antagonize you.

[demografx]

Married almost 40 years, I agree.

[Prancer]

I agree too. Haven't married, but I've had experience with having a gf. Find someone (whether to marry or not) who will be able to correctly process information and understand you, instead of emotionally freaking out at something without really understanding what it is. If you say "I have POIS", there should be no major freak out, but rather a deep and correctly processed understanding of the problem. It's definitely possible for a good quality relationship, just has to be the right person who listens and processes with reason instead of too much emotion or shallowness about the problem. And, most of all, remind well that "POIS is not f--cking contagious!" lol

[demografx]

Beautifully said, Prancer!

[zeynali900]

I agree too. Haven't married, but I've had experience with having a gf. Find someone (whether to marry or not) who will be able to correctly process information and understand you, instead of emotionally freaking out at something without really understanding what it is. If you say "I have POIS", there should be no major freak out, but rather a deep and correctly processed understanding of the problem. It's definitely possible for a good quality relationship, just has to be the right person who listens and processes with reason instead of too much emotion or shallowness about the problem. And, most of all, remind well that "POIS is not f--cking contagious!" lol

Thanks for your help guys. Actually I was thinking I shouldn't tell that GF or spouse about my problem. There are some reasons for this. The first one is that, in the country I live there is a different culture compared to the west, people usually don't have a GF for a long time, just a short time to get to know one another and then marry. In that period if I say that I have a problem, I may lose the chance to marry that girl, and have to start with another one, which will cost extra money, time and effort.

Second, If I say I have POIS, no one may believe it. My mother is open-minded, I told her and she didn't believe me. And you can't tell a closed-mind person about POIS, they will judge you that your problem is because you committed a big sin.

And here you can't get so intimate with your GF to talk about sex, It's a taboo and better avoid it. Here a GF is actually a social opposite gender friend in western culture.

So I guess, I should keep it secret, and after marriage keep the frequency low while looking for a cure.

[Mr Raba]

Married 23 years with POIS. 

Fathered and raised 3 children with POIS and CFS.

You wife will notice. i do not  believe it is remotely possible to keep this a secret from a wife. 

Knowledge is power. Power for understanding and managing the illness together, as a team. Remember, a spouse is your life partner who plays on YOUR team. Knowing the situation will be liberating for BOTH  of you.

Also she may imagine all sorts of worse reasons if she does not know. Like  you find her undesirable, etc.

If she knows, she will understand  better if you need to schedule it for weekends as we do, or other schedule that works for you.

Once you live with a woman you will see that is a lot harder to abstain. So you will need her cooperation when that is the goal.

I would not keep this from a future spouse. We have a manageable challenge that affects a future partner. Just part of what we have to manage in our lives.

How would you feel if roles were reversed? If she kept something significant like this from you?

You are still very young. Have you considered waiting some more?  How about sharing wth your mother you are waiting for the cure to ease the pressure of marriage off you?

[zeynali900]

Thank you mrraba. I appreciate your help.

You wife will notice. i do not  believe it is remotely possible to keep this a secret from a wife. 

She would think it's normal, since most girls here don't have any sex experience before marriage, also don't have much knowledge on it.

How would you feel if roles were reversed? If she kept something significant like this from you?

I don't know. I'm getting crazy :-)

You are still very young. Have you considered waiting some more?

Yes, it seems the only solution now. Or maybe I can find a girl with a low libido.

[Maradon]

Came to find information useful

[Hopeoneday]

You are not a loser , boleve me.

The only reason i didnt marry is sewere pois(phiscal side of pois).
You know, raising childrens but cant be on your feat is
wery dificult. (then all physicall yobs in life , must do woman alone).
And odher mony fond in hose, all on womens side.
Wery complicated.
Only if you found woman who will surcrfise all her life
becouse of you,
This illnes is only understendble betwean us poisers.
Eyaculation=sick, i mean , woman who can understend that is rare,
but exist.( helty eyaculation is by the way wery imoprtant to ALL WOMANS).
Poisers who are "luckier", and hawe lighter symptomes , can be
maried and in relationsheps.
Mony is also big factor in poisers life, always in loop,
sick cant work-no mony -stres, sick cant work, no mony stres....

What keep me on life is that :
I NEWER GIWE UP, NO MATER WHAT HAPEN IN MY LIFE!

[demografx]

Candide, you are not a “loser”. Losers don’t try hard like you do.

[peiguy]

Highly recommend being upfront with a potential love interest so she knows from early on.  In my case, I told my future wife just before we started to get serious.  I confided my POIS [no such term then of course] and she confided her asexuality [no such term then].  We reserved sex for baby making, and got our intimacy through kissing and cuddling.

[devastated]

You have to find a kind and understanding person that has the patience to bear with this issue and wait for you to recover each time.

Thankfully, my wife is one of them. Be honest with her from the very beginning though about your situation. At least this is what worked for me.

[mike_sweden]

my gf ended up cheating on me with a collegue and left me after 14 years
lost all hope after this

[demografx]

my gf ended up cheating on me with a collegue and left me after 14 years
lost all hope after this

Very sorry to hear, mike_sweden!