Author Topic: A curse... and a blessing.  (Read 1641 times)


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A curse... and a blessing.
« on: July 26, 2014, 01:48:01 AM »
I'm not really a known quantity on these forums, but I felt I had something to say and so I thought I'd say it.

This is the summer before my senior year of college and, heading into what seems like a serious relationship, I've been doing a whole lot of thinking about my POIS. I can say with certainty that it's caused a great deal of stress in my life, having dealt with symptoms including horrible brain fog and extreme social anxiety. I sometimes feel that I've been excluded from the usual human experience and I get depressed about it. POIS is, unquestionably, a shitty thing.

But I would be lying if I said I've learned nothing from celibacy (when I can manage it). When I abstain for long periods of time, I find that I have so much more willpower and appreciation for life. The need for orgasm is there but it can eventually be compartmentalized and ignored. To be completely honest, I've been happiest during times of celibacy, as I'm sure many of you have. The self-control one has to develop to deal with POIS is a definite struggle-- but it is a struggle that empowers. And it offers a unique perspective that others may not have the wherewithal to develop.

In the words of JFK: "We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too."

I'm just writing these thoughts down for now. I won't pretend I've said anything novel or profound. For the moment this is incomplete, I think I'll turn it into a full essay later on. But in the short term maybe it's good to just put this out there.


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Re: A curse... and a blessing.
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2014, 07:06:25 AM »
Not necessarily profound but, wise and very true. I do experience a very similar appreciation for life in ways I could never imagine as a result of my POIS. So it can have a positive effect despite the brutal symptoms. Sometimes, as a result of the universal understanding I experience; in which life should be cherished and appreciated in the moment for what it is- I related to older/elderly adults better than others. POIS can certainly make you grow-up in certain ways and delay growth in others. And, can be a double edged sword, you appreciate when you are managing.

I couldn't agree more with your writing Myers6609.

Plus, welcome to forum, and don't ever feel like you have to hold back what you say about POIS here (with respect for what other guys are going through- of course).

Also, many of us have relationships, and it damn hard wk but worth it when you can do it.
28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)