Social anxieties and intelligence without POIS

[Suppertime]

I find that sometimes, despite me being socially active and somewhat intellectual at times, I can become a complete and utter social inept, and a complete idiot even when I am not in POIS mode. This brings the great depression upon me. Again, even without POIS, I feel a sense of burden over me... and I become a different person, someone who I despise being - almost bringing me to the verge of suicide (but I wouldn't). With this, it makes it extremely difficult not to abstain only because masturbation is a way of escaping. Except, it is just another shovel digging my grave.

Do you guys have multiple personality issues like that? Even after 3-4 weeks of abstinence? My EQ is very unstable... I am just waiting at this moment for this phase to blow over so I can get on with my life...

[Clycos]

You're not alone man, I go through the same; sometimes I start a cycle just because I get depressed.

[Chris]

Maybe we never really get over POIS and just that our intensity of symptoms is undetectable on abstinence periods.
You might also consider stress as a less severe cause of symptoms when not in POIS.
I get some sort of symptoms when stessed or tension so i need to calm a bit to be normal again.

[LegatoMan]

Yeah, I become a different person as well. I can't get anything done, I'm socially very awkward and shy, and usually spend most of the time lying down and feeling very sad/depressed. I feel stupid, I can't remember little things, and I'm not creative. When I pick up the guitar, it's like there's no *spark* in me that wants to play, which is a horrible, empty feeling.

So yes it sucks and I cannot count how many things in my life probably were ruined because of POIS weighing me down.

But dwelling on things we cannot change leads nowhere... only more pain!

Acceptance of the past is the only option. Trust that the future will hold greater things. We certainly deserve it.

[sleepy]

I  feel your pains OP. Seems very close to home. Feels like I am 2 people sometimes, PRE and POST O. The few/only benefit of POIS (for me) is memory loss.
I kind of use it as a way to cope with stressful situations, which does not help at all since it perpetuates the negative cycle. Mess up, get depro, fap, forget..