Author Topic: Swearing off relationships  (Read 9338 times)

Defsync

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Swearing off relationships
« on: July 09, 2013, 10:52:17 PM »
This last one, lost two jobs thanks to the debilitating affects of POIS.

No more relationships.

Finding someone who doesnt want to have sex, that is right for you, is nihilistic. Unrealistic. Call it want you want but generally its a crapshoot with the odds stacked against you.

36 now. The life creeps along alone. I think everyone with POIS should get a free pet for life from the govt, like a cat or dog, all food n expenses paid for.

On a side note Seroquel seems to shut off enuf dopamine at night to really help in preventing nocturnal emissions.

Yes, two jobs. Two very have-to-do-a-lot-of-work-quickly-and-with-great-technical-skill, that post O yer like "derp derp derp my iq just took a shit" and yer boss is scratching his head like "why did you get so stupid all of a sudden?"

this dealing with work post O crap has just taken its toll on my soul. ive sworn off materialism 100%. i have no possessions, no money, no real home. And so it will be till I die.

Seriously, I would have rather had some kind of cancer. Maybe not bone cancer, or brain tumor, but pretty much anything else.
A few good years f@#$@ing a hot woman I love, might have just been worth the death from a fatal disease versus the lifetime of suffering that I've now accumulated due to POIS.

I know you all want a cure now, but honestly this grant would go a lot further in 10 years when half the diseases we deal with now are cured due to emerging medical tech. We are still in the dark ages. In a decade they will have full scale human bio modeling that will be able to figure out whats going on with POIS. Spend the money now, and I fear its not even going to scratch the surface.

My three cents.


Samir

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2014, 09:02:37 AM »
That absolutely sucks.  And I know the symptoms of all of sudden being stupid.  I think we all do.

The horrendous part of all this is that we have to live a life few understand.  A life that's almost the total opposite of the human experience.

What self-remedies have you tried?  Fenugreek?  Niacin?  Zinc?  Fish oil?  These four help me cope.

Myers6609

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2014, 12:20:28 AM »
The thing about being excluded from the normal human experience resonates with me strongly. I feel the same way too often.

Fight on, brother.

Andy451

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2014, 10:13:08 AM »
I feel the same way, almost every day yet refuse to quit.

We are excluded from an essential experience of pleasure.

My POIS is constant and is simply aroused w/ a twitch of my penis at this pt. It has gotten worse since I was 12 and am now 27. Thank god or whatever I am flaccid at this stage, because of inflammation. I don't to really experience sex ever again because of how traumatic it has been. I'm coming to terms with that idea- given a cure is not just around the corner.

But I will work and continue to go forward despite feeling emotionally drained and empty because of all the pain.

 Defsync- I feel your pain man (everyday, most of the time, except when I cannot feel anything...). And cannot say that with many. But it is a relief to say that w/ you. Because I absolutely relate to your experience!
28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)

Andy451

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2014, 10:33:34 AM »
Another thing related:

I cannot stand when you talk to doctors or shrinks and they have the human impulse to compare your pain or disease so they can understand what it is you are going though. Part of the problem w/ that is that no doctor, shrink or even gf I have ever met can truly appreciate and empathize w/ the level of pain and specific type we do experience.

Because what is going on here is breaking hearts and souls; given we are talking about a very intimate and intense type of pain, which is self-traumatizing (no impetus needed we have a built in mechanism to hurt ourselves even if we don't want to). Mine has been there for 15yrs and has always been there. I wish it would go away after some days but it never does, just gets worse. and sometimes better for shorter time periods. But I will never stop trying to make it better or slowing it. But, this has become an uphill battle in ever sense. So for me when someone says, we don't know of it killing anyone and don't think it can, I say- Well it will probably exacerbate every single underlying predisposition I have and slowly wither my soul and body (which it already has done). Frankly, I think the researchers still know next to nothing about what they are talking about and simply grasping for answers as we all do, for some relief.

Don't get me wrong, some things help, but I have never encountered anything that really wks and I have tried (allergy shots, niacin, supplements, exercise, icing, PT, psychotropics...) The only thing I have not done is hormonal and IVIg which I may or may not get depending on some blood tests. The best I can do is reduce symptoms 20-40% but that's what I can do, so I do it.

As far as gfs or relationships go I feel they are dammed at this pt for me and I have been in one for 7yrs and see it's end coming.


Perhaps we should all hang out and share our fucked up stories to air it out.. That would be therapeutic!

Keep fighting one of the only fight's worth fighting guys! We can do this together!
28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)

Myers6609

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2014, 02:18:18 PM »
I dunno guys... Dwelling on the negative can only bring us down. We have to focus on the positive.
It can be done. POIS is a test of Job but we can only move onward and upward. :)

Andy451

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2014, 05:04:00 PM »
I dunno guys... Dwelling on the negative can only bring us down. We have to focus on the positive.
It can be done. POIS is a test of Job but we can only move onward and upward. :)

Agreed Myers, but if there is anywhere to vent your weird negative POIS energy it should be here...


ppl are very productive and positive on this forum when they can be.

The negativity is part of POIS... Which I am sure you already know...


Not dwelling on it is essential, yet expressing it is also necessary.

28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)

LegatoMan

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2014, 06:51:36 AM »
I'm in the same boat. Had POIS for almost 6 years now, and wouldn't even dream of having a relationship in this state. No girl deserves that.

While I agree that it's not good to dwell on the negative, God it's satisfying to read people write so accurately about this disease, that no one around me seems to understand. Probably never will! So I'm very thankful for this outlet...
Affected since Sept 2008. Very gradual onset of symptoms: Testicular atrophy, low libido, brain fog, lethargy, depression, digestion issues. Worsening of all symptoms the 3-4 days post orgasm.

Defsync

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2014, 09:08:04 PM »
lol i started this thread last year and look what happened.

personally ive found strong friendships with women to be as enticing as full on relationships with sex.

in all honesty, except for physical contact and "talking romance", the strong female friendship appears very similar to the "relationship". plus if you want a break you can just not hang out with your friend for awhile =) GFs tend to not like that lol.

at this point i have 2 very strong female friendships that fill-in for that sense of loss from not having a gf.

kostas52

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Try Classical Homeopathy
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2014, 08:26:14 AM »
Until it works, patience
I got better from POIS Symptoms,
I am trying Try Classical Homeopathy 10 years now...it is a matter of regular seeing a good homopathic doctor and dont loose your patience.

38 years old - single.

Labyrinth

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2014, 03:04:28 PM »
hello , i really feltthat type of pain it is hurting when u see ur beloved friend leaving cuz of an abnormal behaviour or pshycotic stage u were in during one of the episodes ,i feel like there is some thing heavy on my brain all the time and there is a conflict inside me is that a food allergy or it is just the food stimulate the aoutoimmunity , i really dont know what to say am 6th year medical student , nothing in medicine have discussed this type of syndrome , i used to be very intelligent at school but suddenly i became a big idiot and all my dreams were destroyed suddenly ,i feel that my POIS making me develop another type of food sensitivity like wheat soy and egg , avoiding many of delicious foods were heavy burden on my life ,
i loved a girl student in my batch , i really loved her to extent i can open my head and remove what is irritating me :D in order to feel better and talk to her in a nice way . she thinks am a nice person and she is standing beside me and she noted that am sick most of the time , she was a kind of trying to help me feeling sympathy with me . that what is actually killed me . cuz she started sympathise , and she treated me like afflicted patient . when she started doing that i was akind of getting away from her as a reaction , iam avoiding talking to her except when my mood is good , but i think my pois have shot our potential realshionship and limited it .  I think i would marry her if i dont have pois , but that is injustice , she could have a better life with someone  , with a man not a ........ :(
it destroyed my love of life . i didnt lost her so far but am waiting to her that soon
POIS of 10 yrs now

Samir

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2014, 07:24:52 PM »
Hey Labyrinth.  Sounds like you're Indian from some of the terms you used.  Don't give up on her.  Just let her know what is going on--as a doctor, and as a friend.  If she is still with you, let her help you--as a doctor, and as a friend. 

Some of us would love to have a spouse that's a doctor to help us through the trials and self-experimentation for a cure!  Don't let her slip!

Labyrinth

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2014, 11:33:59 PM »
Ii think she wont stay with me if she knew the truth , the sympathy on me would increase while inside her she will refuse
Kind of complicated 😁
POIS of 10 yrs now

Andy451

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2014, 02:47:43 AM »
For now I agree. No relationships until I get better. It's just too much effort right now. Too much distress.
28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)

berhune

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2014, 10:00:12 PM »
I have also decided to just forego relationships and masturbation.  I sometimes have nocturnal emissions, but have not done anything else for about eight months.  Even though I feel like I'm missing out on part of life, I'm missing less of it than I would with POIS.  For me, sex is a worthwhile sacrifice for a clear head, plenty of energy, a quick wit, and a healthy immune system.  I feel like a monk who has taken his vows.  It's been hard, but it does get easier with time.

poisioq

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #15 on: November 26, 2014, 10:47:04 AM »
I have also decided to just forego relationships and masturbation.  I sometimes have nocturnal emissions, but have not done anything else for about eight months.  Even though I feel like I'm missing out on part of life, I'm missing less of it than I would with POIS.  For me, sex is a worthwhile sacrifice for a clear head, plenty of energy, a quick wit, and a healthy immune system.  I feel like a monk who has taken his vows.  It's been hard, but it does get easier with time.

I 've taken the same decision.
It's 2 months and a half that I'm abstaining, but I haven't yet had a nocturnal emissions.
Just wondering, how do you feel now the days after your NE? Do you notice any improvements on your symptoms?

thanks

berhune

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Re: Swearing off relationships
« Reply #16 on: November 26, 2014, 12:29:49 PM »
Just wondering, how do you feel now the days after your NE? Do you notice any improvements on your symptoms?

It still affects me a little, but it is very mild.  I may have one or two days where I notice the typical despair, foggy head, vulnerability to illness, and putting my foot in my mouth that comes with POIS.  That is much better than the 7-10 days for recovery that it takes me after conscious ejaculation.  Also, over time the NEs have become less frequent, and the more time it's been since an NE, the better I seem to be able to handle the symptoms when they arrive.

Ommmmmm.  :P