Should I give up on trying to find a girlfriend?

[Iamnobodi]

I mean with all the symptoms I experience after ejaculation I'm not even sure if I want a girlfriend. Also I have a low libido and ED issues so that is all the more reason. I am definitely not gay. The latter issues I have tried to correct but to no avail.

 However I still find women objectively attractive and of course it would be nice to have a significant other.  I do feel often at times that I am being deprived of the human condition and this does make me ponder deeply about life.

I am 22 at the moment, and for now my friends family, extended family wouldn't think much of me not having a girlfriend. But as time progresses, say when I reach my 30s, 40s, 50s etc then they will start to wonder. Then I will most likely feel society judging me. As we are expected to procreate. However these norms are not as they once were so I guess it isn't that bad.

But I guess there are many other aspects of one's life that you can focus on apart from women, like, travelling, developing friendships, reading, good music, sports and career progression etc, which does not make things completely hopeless lol.

I had a very high libido in my adolescence and maybe I masturbated too much (did not experience POIS symptoms back then), and I really did not expect to be experiencing issues like these currently.

I have found some solace in Buddhism as the essence of it is not to react, to a good situation or a bad situation. It's more of an art to life. I think I would benefit much from this practice. But then again the way our society is, it's hard to forget.

[zeynali900]

Hi. You are 22 and I'm 23, so we feel the same. Some POISers take niacin pills or fenugreek pills. Those pills make them recover very fast so they can have sexual activities. About low libido and ED, I saw other members have given you advice.

I give you one advice: enjoy you're life. If you don't need sex and you can enjoy you're life by other activities, then you're problem is solved. If you can't enjoy you're life without sex, then you need to find a treatment, and if none of the treatments worked for you then you have to forget all about sex.

[Macster]

Very good advice. I myself have been having difficulty finding a girlfriend and now I've just moved to a new city which makes it even harder since I don't know many people. But I'm concentrating more on trying to make good friends and finding relaxing activities.

I had a girlfriend back a couple of years ago and it didn't end too well. At the time, I didn't have a name yet for what I was feeling and had a lot of difficulty trying to explain how I felt. There are many things I miss from being in a relationship but there are so many other things that were tougher since you need to be able to communicate well which is so hard with POIS.

I believe there are many things that people think are meant to be a certain way simply because of the society in which we may live in. Having a girlfriend is not an absolute necessity and there is no harm in believing that.

I too have delved into buddhism a lot as well as the Tao Te Ching and Zen Koans. These are philosophies that are very grounded and help to see things with a different point of view.

[Prancer]

Hey Iam,

Don't give up! And don't worry what society thinks of you. What society thinks of you is irrelevant, and no one should be judging you for not having a girlfriend right now lol. If you want one, you will get one, and if you don't want one, then that's fine too. Maybe if you're able to benefit from a cure within the next year or so (hopefully sooner though), you'll regain that libido, confidence and swagger that you once had. But seriously, don't fret about what anyone else thinks of you, just be yourself. In the meantime, you have your friends and your interests. Hang around those that understand & comfort you, and are kind to you, rather than the ones that criticize you all the time for not having a gf yet. Good luck Iam!  - Prancer

[demografx]

Excellent thoughts, Prancer.

[biocentric]

There are platonic dating sites aimed at people who dont want sex.