Hey,
Seems like this might be the place to put an introduction. I've been lurking for a year or more. I actually first searched for my malady as Post Ejaculatory Depression a number of years ago and discovered a rock band. You can still Google that string and see my post on TaoBums from back then. So, it's not new to me.
Even then the first diagnosis was guilt. And, that's what I thought it was for years and years until I started becoming more self-aware -- and enjoying my sexuality more.
So, what happens with me? My symptoms come purely from ejaculation -- not orgasm, not arousal, not porn, not fantasy. Thank God, because I enjoy them all. I enjoy intercourse with orgasm and no ejaculation. I also enjoy a lot of masturbation without ejaculation and occasional orgasm. I enjoy erotica and I write about sexuality.
When I ejaculate, though, in from 12-24 hours I'll drop into an ugly POIS state. I lose my absolutely winning social skills, have difficulty stringing coherent sentences together, recalling simple facts and focusing on a task. I want to do little but withdraw. I have little desire to do anything to help myself feel better. I experience irrational feelings and thoughts of paranoia.
It will last from 24-48 hours and end abruptly. Then in about two weeks I'll experience another, similar day.
The only thing that seems to work well for me is abstinence from ejaculation. I've tried fish oil, fenugreek, garlic, niacin, antidepressants, etc. with no noticeable improvement. I've had some success with masturbation within the 12-24 hour period before symptoms begin. That sometimes lessens the effect. I also once tried ejaculating every single day -- that was a cure I dreamed up with my psychiatrist. I lasted about three weeks -- couldn't sustain it.
I used to elaborately plan my ejaculations, considering what I may be responsible for 1-2 days following my thrill so as not to mess up my relationships too terribly or even worse, lose my job. And, since ejaculation is so rare, it's worthy of special consideration to be savored and remembered.
Now, I'll abstain from ejaculation anywhere from a couple weeks to over three months. That's how I manage for now.
Fortunately, my quest to feel better has led me to an absolutely enjoyable fascination with sexuality as a whole. I've discovered a lot of ways to express my sexuality in my life, alone and with my partner beyond genital expression. While I still often think about how nice a really messy ejaculation would be, I find pleasure in learning to play sexually in a multitude of other ways.
I am, however, considering another "ejaculate every day" test to just see how it goes. There may be a hefty price to pay My constants are: a diet low in grain, dairy and non-organic foods and high in veggies, fruits, great meat and healthy fats; outdoor exercise (I bike a lot); laughter; supplements (fish oil, magnesium, D, C, and B-complex) and artistic expression. I have some symptom-reducing ideas I'd like to try.
Thanks, everybody, for your great posts, openness, vulnerability and collaboration!
