Author Topic: I don?t know what to do. I feel lost.  (Read 115 times)

gettingbetter01

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I don?t know what to do. I feel lost.
« on: October 01, 2022, 01:26:25 AM »
So I used to be pretty into drugs in my teenage years. Eventually it got kinda out of hand, when I was 18, I was taking kratom and phenibut every day for about 8 months. I also really enjoyed adderall. What I would do on adderall is masturbate for 12 hours straight, no joke. I?d do this like every 2 weeks or so. It would drain me like crazy for 2 days then I?d recover. Eventually I went to rehab and got completely sober. I was masturbating completely normally for like 2-3 months after rehab, and then it started to hit me.

I missed the adderall masturbating, so I?d drink caffeine and edge for too long of a time. Doing this would make me feel awful at the end of it. I?d feel very similar to the adderall comedown with similar effects. Eventually I quit caffeine, but the effects would still be noticeable.

It wasn?t too bad, I just couldn?t edge for too long. I tried no fap several times and failed, and it seemed with every failure it would get worse. I assumed these effects were a normal effects of my addiction.

It?s hard for me to pin exactly where, but eventually these effects got worse, I think it was around the time I turned 20. If I edged or masturbated too much I?d have to call out of work. I would try to only masturbate every few days, but it would always lead back to feeling the bad effects, even if I didn?t edge too much.

I went to the doctor for something unrelated around this time, and he did some presses around my stomach area. When he pressed on my stomach I thought I was gonna throw up. He said it?s probably stomach inflammation caused by too much fast food, and we never determined the root cause.

Although I did really struggle with these effects without knowing what it was for awhile, eventually it became really hard to deal with. I?m 21 now and I?ve been out of work for about 3 months. Edging still makes it worse, porn makes it worse, and getting aroused throughout the day makes it worse.

I have a seen a psychiatrist, but I haven?t taken their medication. I went back to the doctor, and the same press on my stomach hurts me. I started eating gluten free for 5 days now, and I feel a little better. I?m gonna cut dairy tomorrow as well.

As of now my symptoms of POIS are

Derealization, my worst one

Anxiety

Depression

OCD

Fatigue

Weakness

I feel like there?s so many things that could?ve caused it, and I don?t even know where to begin. What do you guys think?

Quantum

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Re: I don?t know what to do. I feel lost.
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2022, 08:50:59 AM »
So I used to be pretty into drugs in my teenage years. Eventually it got kinda out of hand, when I was 18, I was taking kratom and phenibut every day for about 8 months. I also really enjoyed adderall. What I would do on adderall is masturbate for 12 hours straight, no joke. I?d do this like every 2 weeks or so. It would drain me like crazy for 2 days then I?d recover. Eventually I went to rehab and got completely sober. I was masturbating completely normally for like 2-3 months after rehab, and then it started to hit me.

I missed the adderall masturbating, so I?d drink caffeine and edge for too long of a time. Doing this would make me feel awful at the end of it. I?d feel very similar to the adderall comedown with similar effects. Eventually I quit caffeine, but the effects would still be noticeable.

It wasn?t too bad, I just couldn?t edge for too long. I tried no fap several times and failed, and it seemed with every failure it would get worse. I assumed these effects were a normal effects of my addiction.

It?s hard for me to pin exactly where, but eventually these effects got worse, I think it was around the time I turned 20. If I edged or masturbated too much I?d have to call out of work. I would try to only masturbate every few days, but it would always lead back to feeling the bad effects, even if I didn?t edge too much.

I went to the doctor for something unrelated around this time, and he did some presses around my stomach area. When he pressed on my stomach I thought I was gonna throw up. He said it?s probably stomach inflammation caused by too much fast food, and we never determined the root cause.

Although I did really struggle with these effects without knowing what it was for awhile, eventually it became really hard to deal with. I?m 21 now and I?ve been out of work for about 3 months. Edging still makes it worse, porn makes it worse, and getting aroused throughout the day makes it worse.

I have a seen a psychiatrist, but I haven?t taken their medication. I went back to the doctor, and the same press on my stomach hurts me. I started eating gluten free for 5 days now, and I feel a little better. I?m gonna cut dairy tomorrow as well.

As of now my symptoms of POIS are

Derealization, my worst one

Anxiety

Depression

OCD

Fatigue

Weakness

I feel like there?s so many things that could?ve caused it, and I don?t even know where to begin. What do you guys think?

Hi, gettingbetter01, and welcome to the forum.

I can share what I came to understand about edging and sexual arousal, and how it relates to POIS, in my case.  I came to see that edging put a lot of pressure on the nervous system, so it creates fatigue at the level of the brain and creates unbalance in the various neurotransmitters.  Too much sexual activity can be very draining.  This is true for anybody, but for any individual that has some weakness somewhere in his metabolism, like me and like most POISers, as I guess, this drains is too much and has a deep effect and lasts for a long time.  Moreover, there is cumulative damage that adds up if we keep on being aroused and practice edging often.  It is worst still if we ejaculate frequently ( In my case, the combined effects of edging for a long time and finally, ejaculation, were horrible, and I was not myself for 2 or 3 days (exhausted, irritable, mad, anxious,....)
When I lowered the frequency of my sexual activity, my situation got a lot better.

I suggest you slowly get used to not edging as often, and not as long, to give a chance to your nervous system to rest and heal.  Create yourself a calendar for progressive diminution of your sexual activity over several weeks or months ( a slow withdrawal).  If you edge many times a day, I would start by diminishing till it is only one time a day.  Then you can start to skip some days.  Then work on the duration and slowly learn to be satisfied with less edging time, because you become aware that long edging sessions are too much of a toll on your body and mind ( maybe others can stand a lot, but POISers cannot).  My view on it is that, in nature, sex was meant to last not very long, and the body is not adapted to long and persistent sexual stimulation.  It is not adapted either, at least for a majority of men, to very frequent ejaculations, and this becomes more obvious still as we age ( I am 57 now).   And, while you diminish your sexual activity, it is a good thing to find new sources of satisfaction, like a new hobby, a new sport, new friends, or anything you invest your energy in and that brings happiness and rewarding experiences. This will fill the void and keep your attention elsewhere.  When I was bored, I was much more incline to edging, obviously.

So, when we have POIS, it is also useful to reduce to a minimum the number of ejaculation per week.  When I was younger, it would sometimes become a real need that I ejaculate, so I would then plan that it would interfere the least possible with my daily activity, like work, family life, sport, or anything else.  Once a week was the maximum for me and was enough to avoid nocturnal emission ( It was far better for me to plan a release at more convenient time than have a NE at a very inappropriate time).

Keep on experimenting with diet, many members got better after finding a more healthy diet, relative to their food intolerance.  Staying sober will also give a break to your nervous system, obviously.

Your symptoms seem to match mine a lot - mostly fatigue, and a ton of emotional and psychological symptoms (and not many dermatological symptoms or flu-like symptoms or allergy-like symptoms).  What has helped me a lot with the emotional symptoms is 10 minutes daily of meditation, nothing complicated, just focussing quietly on my breathing ( effects become evident after 4 to 6 weeks).  Mindfulness, which is quite popular these years, is also a useful practice to calm the mind.  You mention derealization as one of your main symptoms, so grounding yourself in the now experience, like mindfulness does, could be helping.

You can also take a look at my POIS Types Chart, where are listed many methods that can help relieve POIS symptoms, see at https://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=2338.msg19448#msg19448 . You will notice that gluten-free diet and other diets is part of this chart, at #7.  Some other methods can be useful to use before a planned ejaculation, like the niacin method and pre-pack methods, so that the POIS attack after a planned release will be less intense and last less long. 

« Last Edit: October 01, 2022, 09:06:29 AM by Quantum »
You are 100% responsible for what you do with anything I post on this forum and of any consequence it could have for you.  Forum rule: ""Do not use POISCenter as a substitute for, or to give, medical advice" Read the remaining part at http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=1.msg10259#msg10259

swell

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Re: I don?t know what to do. I feel lost.
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2022, 01:19:36 PM »
I would echo what Quantum said, his advice is to the mark.  His advice (and some others here) helped me as well.  I think you can conquer it (it ain't easy), but you will:

a) Try to learn medicine, and then try to unlearn it (i.e. separating fact from fiction). 
b) Try to learn genetics, and then try to unlearn it.   
c)  This should be step#1, try to learn nutrition.  Balance your Amino acids, Fatty Acids, Carbs.   Try to love websites like cronometer.com that enable you to find various deficiencies at no cost.

The good news is (however torturous POIS maybe), but it your internal control mechanisms/genes/spirit (whatever), crying out to YOU for help. 
POIS Free, 2+ yrs (occasional/predictive lapses)
Pois symptoms: Peripheral (Skin: Urticaria, dryness, pale blotchy skin), Exasperation of: [Nerve weakness, Muscle weakness + Mental (CNS: Brain Fog, Irritation, Isolation, Speech lethargy, Anxiety)].
Other conditions: ASD, ADD, GA