Author Topic: Ever considered killing yourself?  (Read 1175 times)

Drew1312

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Ever considered killing yourself?
« on: September 01, 2020, 01:44:11 PM »
Considering  the struggles we have to go trough, our lives being ruined, especially for those who didn t get the chance to build sth in life that pois stroke them in  their teens or worse, with the first masturbation.Doctors being so idiots thinking this xxxx is psychosomatic and not taking you seriously.Ever considered it?

no profanity, please
« Last Edit: September 01, 2020, 02:53:28 PM by demografx »

Clues

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2020, 02:20:16 PM »
Drew1312 not me. But it can really wear you down. It's shocking how bad most doctors are at addressing any sort of chronic issue, let alone one as rare as POIS. I've felt incredibly alone sometimes; I'm 40 at the moment, and have had POIS for at least 20 years, and I only told someone other than my wife about it for the first time this year. I talked to a good friend about it, and that was a big deal for me. He didn't judge and he took it seriously, which really helped me feel less alone with it.

For what it's worth, some tips to my POIS brothers and sisters out there:
  • If you are feeling suicidal, get help! If you don't have a friend or family member you feel like you can talk to, most countries have emergency numbers you can call for help. Don't lose everything in a moment of despair. Speaking of which...
  • If, like me, you get very depressed as part of your POIS "symptom package", try to remember that it'll pass. Try to make a mental adjustment for the fact that POIS is messing with your head, and try to see past it, even if you don't feel hope in the moment.
  • When you do choose to open up about POIS, whether you're talking to a doctor or a family member or whomever: Don't sell yourself short, and don't start to doubt your judgement just because someone else doubts you. Remember that it's a doctor's job to help you, and if they can't, that's on them. It's not your fault, and it's not your responsibility to have an explanation for the strange stuff that's happening to your body.
  • If you haven't, maybe consider opening up to someone you really trust. Again, it's not your responsibility to explain what's happening. None of us can, yet. But it can help to share your story with an empathetic soul.
  • This one may seem obvious, but it took me a while to come around to: Accept that you are sick and work around it in your daily life. E.g. I kept putting myself in situations I knew wouldn't work well because I didn't want to disappoint my wife. E.g. we'd go on holidays that involved a lot of walking, which was enough to trigger symptoms for me, and made me grumpy and exhausted and unsociable. We're much better at that stuff now and work around the triggers together. It sucks to be limited like that, but it's better than the alternative.
Much love and good luck to everyone here. <3

demografx

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2020, 02:55:56 PM »
Unfortunately, some of us have needed this message from time to time. This is being posted because none of the admins/mods here are really trained to respond to this level of POIS despondency.





••    USA: 800.273.8255 click here


••.   List Of International Suicide Hotlines:


telephone with website/email contact info
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

jon1_reclaim

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2020, 09:59:26 AM »
Hope Drew or anyone else has ever had these types of feelings, am sure people from all walks of life at some pot hit rock bottom and it seems never ending , hope you feel you can talk/express freely here in this space.

I think this is a safe space , I like to think where there is a litttle hope there is a lot of hope. Where there is a chance of small progress in the right direction there is a chance of big progress in the right direction .

I truly feel with the right attitude all things can mould us and however hard this might be , we are stronger , stronger than we know and stronger together .. you just don?t know how close we are to a viable solution .. it might take some time and new actions .

It is a human reaction to sometimes lose hope and feel down , but that can pass, in the blink of an eye.

Anyone read tuesdays with Morrie?? Great book, great teachings about life and emotions.


quikot

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2020, 04:06:30 PM »
Recently I thought about it often. Living like this is a nightmare. All my plans and dreams got cancelled because of this illness. It really ruined everything. I used to have hope, that I would somehow cure myself...So I fought with this illness so aggressively and obsessively, tried so many things but I'm still ill. I struggle to find any hope anymore. Whole year I was vegetating/existing but never living. It's hopeless. There is only an extremely low chance of experiencing a happy, meaningful future when I'm this ill.

My POIS seems to be worse than in most cases. It's like I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, cognitive dysfunction and POIS all in one package. And of course permanent tinnitus like a cherry on top, constantly reminding me that I'm ill. It's just too much.

The past few days I've been so fatigued I struggled to walk up the stairs. I had to drag myself on the handrail. I'm only 27 years old and I've seen 80 year olds with better health than mine. My health and my autonomy over my body have been brutally stolen from me.

an-y-more

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2020, 05:10:59 PM »
I mean, I might have difficulty with thinking but not that much to never think of this option, which might be the only real one for me at the end of a day. Should've done it long time ago though.
 I don't know why you brought up this discussion OP but hope you and everybody in this thread doing OK and'll finally find something that helps you. As someone who never had depression I probably won't understand how hard it can be to do things in such desperate state but people here justified to feel let down with such extremly big struggles going on in their lifes.
 And I probably won't lie if I say you'll always have people who understand you right here, at this forum ;) Yes, nobody here gonna prescribe you a drug that will be your life-altering experience like these doctors but it's still a massive thinking tank which never failed to provide us with new ideas over the course of these years. Maybe some day one of suggestions from this forum will have a positive impact on your life if you won't quit. Yes, after that life still probably kinda sucks because we all would like it to be -completely- normal. But maybe there some other interesting way to spend you life and enjoy it to some degree one day..
 Maybe offtop but I doubt we'll see any further movement regard this study in Cali any time soon. To be honest I think this one might end up not happening at all. So I would've suggesed to brace yourself and rely only on the ones who faced this problem including (of course) yourself ;) and never give up on trying new approaches to our problem.

 As some silver lining here- don't know about you folks but for me life didn't change at all since the beginning of corona. In fact it seems sometimes like the world tuning itself to my way of living.. So if any of you feel the same here maybe you can say it's kind of advantage over healthy humans that we have in these times- we won't need to cry over our lives being completely deconstruct cause we've already lived these ways before 8) Just some thoughts to light up this doom and gloom vision of mine. Hope I've not went off the rails too much in this rant. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, peace to you all :) Mods, if my message is not appropriate in this thread, please delete. I just rambled around with my fogged all way around mind a bit!

demografx

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2020, 02:44:49 AM »

Unfortunately, some of us have needed this message from time to time. This is being posted because none of the admins/mods here are really trained to respond to this level of POIS despondency.





••    USA: 800.273.8255 click here


••.   List Of International Suicide Hotlines:


telephone with website/email contact info
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

quikot

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2020, 02:34:05 PM »
I just needed to vent. It's tough suffering in silence. Even though suicide crosses my mind, I'm probably unlikely to act upon it because I still have my family who would be devastated. Although it can suck hard, learning to cope with chronic illness and accepting it as part of my life could do me some favour.

Ricardo Brasil

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2020, 12:15:55 AM »
I always had that thought, since I was a child. I am gay and I grew up in a prejudiced environment, I always felt excluded and without possibilities for one day to be happy, I thought that regardless of what I did, this would be the end of me. Today I am more than good about my sexuality, but POIS steals a large part of my life still and makes thoughts of suicide recurrent, but just as the "Clues" said, I try to remember that it is a temporary and sooner or later it will pass.

demografx

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2020, 03:08:50 AM »
Ricardo Brasil, I hope you consider this resource. I think it’s worthwhile repeating!

Unfortunately, some of us have needed this message from time to time. This is being posted because none of the admins/mods here are really trained to respond to this level of POIS despondency.





••    USA: 800.273.8255 click here


••.   List Of International Suicide Hotlines:


telephone with website/email contact info
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

kasra

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2020, 11:32:14 AM »
Yeah I did,I ate 50 pills,I failed

Quantum

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #12 on: December 20, 2020, 07:37:17 PM »
Yeah I did,I ate 50 pills,I failed

Was it related to POIS ?  Did you get help, Kasra, since then ?
You are 100% responsible for what you do with anything I post on this forum and of any consequence it could have for you.  Forum rule: ""Do not use POISCenter as a substitute for, or to give, medical advice" Read the remaining part at http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=1.msg10259#msg10259

kasra

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2020, 02:48:41 AM »
Yes it was related to pois,among other things,yes I tried getting help but doctors couldnt solve any of my problems

manhei1994

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2020, 09:17:00 AM »
I always had that thought, since I was a child. I am gay and I grew up in a prejudiced environment, I always felt excluded and without possibilities for one day to be happy, I thought that regardless of what I did, this would be the end of me. Today I am more than good about my sexuality, but POIS steals a large part of my life still and makes thoughts of suicide recurrent, but just as the "Clues" said, I try to remember that it is a temporary and sooner or later it will pass.

Ricardo, like you, I am both gay and a Poiser. It is very stressful to keep so many secrets. I have been suffering from this illness since 2004 (excluding 2006-10, as I did not masturbate in the intervening time), but I only discovered the forum in December 2015.
My Pois is not extremely serious compared with some of the forum members, I remember a guy said that his Pois lasted for a month and he had no relief from anything suggested on this forum. I do get some relief from Niacin and antihistamines, the symptoms are less unbearable, but they still last at least a week. Sometimes, I think suicide can solve all my problems, but I don't think I will execute it.
My life has been affected by this disease over the last 10 years

EnriqueM075

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Re: Ever considered killing yourself?
« Reply #15 on: December 21, 2020, 03:29:18 PM »
I had never thought about suicide in my life, despite having suffered from major or severe depression for more than a year and a half, from which I was cured, later I suffered from a slightly milder depression and was cured again. Last year, more than a year and a half ago I began to suffer from anxiety, at first you are sure that you suffer from some physical illness, something similar to depression, only that in anxiety the symptoms are real, it is not that you think you are It hurts, it hurts, even the cardiovascular symptoms are very real, so much so that they medicate you. I have always been against suicide, but in my particular case, I only found my anxiety, that is, almost everyone, family and friends turned their back on me, this coupled with a bad economic situation, the situation in my country Venezuela where health services are practically useless, I could not afford a psychiatrist, not even medicines, it is hard, by the end of last year they began to appear, or at least I noticed the symptoms of POIS, I came to pass days in bed without being able to get up, in January of this year apart from anxiety, it gives me depression, in addition to the POIS which I still did not imagine I had, I could not go to doctors or take tests. So my health situation has been deteriorating, worsening, and of course I am a coward, but if I did consider the possibility, sometimes I read articles about cases in countries where euthanasia is authorized and I consider myself entitled to receive it, because the suffering is big. Of course, I am sure that if I lived in Holland or Switzerland they would have already provided me with medical and psychiatric care. Here in Venezuela if a person has a heart attack and does not have someone to take him to an emergency room, where he will most likely also die, he has to stay lying in bed or where he is waiting for death because they are going to answer the phone, but they will tell you to try calling a neighbor to take you to a hospital because they don't have units. That stresses me out even more.
I have been fighting for months, taking the medicines I can, painkillers, taking natural medicines, plants, roots etc. Doing mindfulness, the Wim Hof ​​method, decrees, prayers, etc, with the wim hof method I got to have many hopes and illusions, since the first week was excellent, so much so that I got to ejaculate and went for a walk every afternoon for half an hour as if nothing, but it is how it has stopped working, they have even given me some adverse effects, arrhythmia and pain in the chest and abdomen, woww, it is like they had poured me a bucket of cold water, but not in the wim method hof, I keep practicing it, but in the last few days I have felt very bad, I think that the anxiety is still present, coupled with the fact that it costs me too much to abstain, now more than after more than a year of having stopped taking benzos, it's like my orgasms have returned to normal, as I spent many years ejaculating without feeling anything at all. So having sex or masturbating for me is to feel the same thing that I felt at the beginning when I was a teenager.
I have faith that there must be a cure, I have read here testimonies of people who have improved or know of cases that have improved, we do not have terminal cancer or a psychiatric illness so serious that it gives us no hope of being cured, even so there are people with anxiety that they live like this all their lives, most of them medicated, even with this I even resist anxiety, but for me it is very difficult to fight alone and without resources so my thoughts sometimes waver because this is really desperate. To say that I really like to read, I do not speak English but I can read the posts in this forum with the translator, because it happens to me that it is difficult for me to read, I feel so bad that I start reading and I have to quit, well apart from problems concentration and understanding that I know are a consequence or symptom of POIS.

In case of having suicidal thoughts, look for support, look, in forums or anxiety groups, people usually write when it occurs to them, and together we support each other, it is normal sometimes to wake up talking with a perfect stranger, trying to encourage him not to do it, loneliness and lack of support are one of the main causes for a person to commit suicide. Best regards