Author Topic: Hitting a brick wall.  (Read 5327 times)

Nas

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Hitting a brick wall.
« on: March 20, 2018, 10:27:09 AM »
Hi everyone,
So I like to post here my current feelings, so I can share them so they won't keep echoing in my brain and drive me insane.
I've had POIS since a lot of time but not until today did I ever feel so desperate and so imprisoned by my illness. I have tried many supplements and medications in the past like Sam-e, b-complex, D3, NASID meds, H1 inhibitors. Nothing seem to work for me or give me relief more than 20%. Every single masturbation is like a peace of my soul is getting ripped from me and that creates a more viscous cycle where I get hornier the more fucked up I feel.
And today I feel like I had a wake up call that if things don't improve in the near future I might fuck up my life royally. This illness is getting so powerful that I can't make a full sentence come out of my mouth no matter how hard I try. I'm only 20 but I feel so much of my life is wasted in such a young age. I have zero friends, I have never had sex with any girl and I have never had any relationship what so ever since I had POIS, and this is frustrating the heck out me. Especially when I'm in college and I see so many girls that I'd like to talk to but I can't make two sentences that sound right, how the fuck would a girl be even remotely interested in me.
I'm broke and I have no job, the only income I get is from my parents who barely give me anything to eat properly. I live in Iraq which is the most remote and isolated place in the world. And envy eats me up when I see people who are much happier than me and I imagine myself just like them and I hate it; I don't like this feeling  I want to be happy and satisfied with my life but nothing is worth feeling satisfied about. And people won't stop telling me: Why are you so isolated? Why are you so reserved? Why don't smile that much? And they all keep pushing me to be better BUT I CAN'T! Sigh.
Today is where it all snapped. I realized that this life style will be the death of me, and I will keep eating myself if I continued like this, yet, there is nothing I can do... How fucking frustrating is that! And I feel it's becoming really dangerous and I'm afraid this will lead me to act dangerously, either to my self or with people around me. I seriously need help so I wouldn't not fall to an inescapable cycle of suicidal thoughts :( . I'm not that kind of guy and I'm always satisfied by the simple things and I don't look for fame or fortune; all I want is a normal simple life with friends and family and even that I can't get :( .
What can I do ? Is there any possible thing to try to fix my course ? Life is very short but why is it worth living if it's all nothing but agony :(
« Last Edit: March 20, 2018, 10:33:50 AM by Nas »

Meshal

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2018, 10:51:17 AM »
Hey, I'm 20 too I can feel you man. It's really unfair to have this disease, yet I'm not really broke so I can't understand as much suffering as you experience.

personally this disease made me less Interested in girls and sex in general. I only masturbate every 3 weeks because biologically I'm a male who has to ejaculate.

Since I discovered this forum I dedicated myself to this disease, before I discovered the forum I was freaking desperate because It was confusing and make you ashamed, I actually given up after graduation from highschool and decided to stay in my home for my whole life, I just needed a fraction of hope to fight it back and this amazing forum gave me this hope.

by dedication I mean: trying every safe treatment everyone had a success with in the forum since this forum was founded, until I build myself the best treatment possible. maybe you would have financial issues but I believe you can work something out If you want a relief to help you move on.

judging from your post I think you have these options:

1- train yourself in how to abstain, for long periods (month or two) It will really let you taste life, Also abstaining will eliminate brain fogging If you have this symptom, so you can build yourself a solid plan.
2- try every treatment that is probably safe to try, diets as well can be helpful as it was very successful to many members.
3- for starters: I would really recommend you try niacin(flush type) since you haven't tried it yet apparently. take a pill on an empty stomach an hour before ejaculation, this treatment proved useful and I think It's the most promising relief. as Daveman said: Somewhere in this interaction with Niacin is the answer!, I always keep that in mind ;D

Good luck.

Nas

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2018, 11:08:34 AM »

1- train yourself in how to abstain, for long periods (month or two) It will really let you taste life, Also abstaining will eliminate brain fogging If you have this symptom, so you can build yourself a solid plan.
2- try every treatment that is probably safe to try, diets as well can be helpful as it was very successful to many members.
3- for starters: I would really recommend you try niacin(flush type) since you haven't tried it yet apparently. take a pill on an empty stomach an hour before ejaculation, this treatment proved useful and I think It's the most promising relief. as Daveman said: Somewhere in this interaction with Niacin is the answer!, I always keep that in mind ;D


Thanks Meshal,
Thing is:
1- I found this method to be dangerous because it can only increase my frustration and I found that masturbating on weekends is better because I have time to recover before heading to class.
2- I'm also trying this method but I can't seem to hit the spot; nothing simply works and it's driving me insane. I'm currently trying cetrizine daily and diphenhydramine after orgasm but until now I'm getting jackshit results.
3- I did and yes, no relief what so ever and I did flush. I might even say that it made symptoms worse.

Meshal

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2018, 11:29:27 AM »

1- train yourself in how to abstain, for long periods (month or two) It will really let you taste life, Also abstaining will eliminate brain fogging If you have this symptom, so you can build yourself a solid plan.
2- try every treatment that is probably safe to try, diets as well can be helpful as it was very successful to many members.
3- for starters: I would really recommend you try niacin(flush type) since you haven't tried it yet apparently. take a pill on an empty stomach an hour before ejaculation, this treatment proved useful and I think It's the most promising relief. as Daveman said: Somewhere in this interaction with Niacin is the answer!, I always keep that in mind ;D


Thanks Meshal,
Thing is:
1- I found this method to be dangerous because it can only increase my frustration and I found that masturbating on weekends is better because I have time to recover before heading to class.
2- I'm also trying this method but I can't seem to hit the spot; nothing simply works and it's driving me insane. I'm currently trying cetrizine daily and diphenhydramine after orgasm but until now I'm getting jackshit results.
3- I did and yes, no relief what so ever and I did flush. I might even say that it made symptoms worse.

Damn, well my suggestion is to just keep going forward, have you tried the charts in Quantum's thread?  http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=2338.0

I'm planning to go through them one by one as well. It will cost like hell of course, I started working to earn a proper amount of money to try everything wish me luck ;D

However I already thought of one last resort that might interest you, one I would only do after I get very very very very desperate and nothing works I'll do it because It's the only way out. I highly not suggest it unless you truly tried everything out there.
It's something called: Chemical castration, they used to give it to pedophiles I think, and some other cases regarding rapists. It's basically injections that keeps your libido very low for years, so no ejaculating at all. every POIS'er dream xD.

why I chose it as my last resort. I'll quote from a Nursing graduate whom I asked him why I shouldn't do chemical castration:

"Because it messes with your hormones, you'll need testosterone injections, you'll be at a higher chance for CV diseases and osteoporosis as well as many other things.
There?s very few reasons chemical castration can be used and the only ones I know of are for repeat sex offenders usually cases involving children."


yet I still consider it my last resort, because no matter how bad It will be It will be nothing compared to POIS, am I right?
« Last Edit: March 20, 2018, 11:35:03 AM by Meshal »

Nas

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2018, 12:24:59 PM »
Well I mean, I live in Iraq so I'm not sure we even have that. Plus I don't know how the fuck will I convince authorities to even give me this shit.
Anyways I don't think this is a good idea, and its low testosterone consequences can be more damaging to be worth it.

certainlypois2

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2018, 03:04:32 PM »
Nas ,how many ejaculations r u having while u r testing the treatments.

Nas

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2018, 09:48:24 PM »
Nas ,how many ejaculations r u having while u r testing the treatments.

Certainlpois2,
-The Niacin one was only once.
-I had Nanna's pack recently which helped me somewhat but it was too expensive and masturbation still fucks you up more than the pack can heal you. This one had multiple orgasms but never felt like it stopped POIS, best thing is that there is like 20% less severity. POIS effects stack after masturbation sessions so not really that effective.
-I'm trying currently Cetrizine daily and Diphenhydramine after orgasm. I'm yet to try the Diphenhydramine, but the Cetrizine is not showing anything yet; you'd think at least a little bit boost can be gained if the medication is effective. This one is not, so I don't think it will be that effective at all.

Meshal

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2018, 02:00:06 AM »
Nas ,how many ejaculations r u having while u r testing the treatments.

Certainlpois2,
-The Niacin one was only once.
-I had Nanna's pack recently which helped me somewhat but it was too expensive and masturbation still fucks you up more than the pack can heal you. This one had multiple orgasms but never felt like it stopped POIS, best thing is that there is like 20% less severity. POIS effects stack after masturbation sessions so not really that effective.
-I'm trying currently Cetrizine daily and Diphenhydramine after orgasm. I'm yet to try the Diphenhydramine, but the Cetrizine is not showing anything yet; you'd think at least a little bit boost can be gained if the medication is effective. This one is not, so I don't think it will be that effective at all.

You know, the duration between ejaculations are an important factor while testing the treatments, meaning you have to make sure that you're completely out of POIS before you test the treatment, (like 10 days since your last ejaculation), just to make sure the treatment will affect u.

Quantum

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2018, 11:44:55 AM »
Hi Nas,

Keep hoping, Nas, and keep trying some safe alternatives, until you get some relief.  We have no choice but to accept this challenge that we have, and that others don't have.  But, hey, everyone has it sown challenges in this human life.

I would like to know what is your usual frequency, in term of ejaculations per week, or per months?

I ask this, because, even with my pre-pack, I wouldn't control all of my symptoms, If I was to ejaculate more than once a week, and less is better still.    For me, like for most POIS sufferers, the metabolic events that occurs in POIS seesm to be cumulative, and symtpoms worsen with higher frequency.

I suggest you work on your perception about libido and need for sex, in order to lower it as much as possible.  Once a week, and once every 2 weeks, are good goals for a starter.  After 40 years, I have become very good at that, and have done a huge reprogramming about the cultural aspect of sexuality, because it is not only our hormones that can make su frustrated if we abstain from sex, in my personal experience.    The cultural identity of what is a "true male" greatly contribute to the frustration and urge to have regular ejaculations.  Our instincts are programmed to motivate us to reproduce, but the cultural overlay can greatly strengthen our reproductive instinct - we are, litteraly, programmed by modern culture about how often we should have sex in order to be "normal".  Also, publicity and popular culture ( movies, TV, magazines,..) are abusing the call to reproductive instinct in order to sell and promote about anything, and this can be made conscious and worked on.  Moreover, some modern psychological science will say that sexual restraint is bad for the mental, emotional and physical health...hehehe...but for me, it has been highly positive!  Too much of anyhting is no good, and the NoFap movement,, and all those porn addiction problems, tend to prove that our culture si over-sexualized, even when POIS is not in the picture..

NE will still be a concern, but regular masturbation at frequencies considered "normal" by current culture are not appropriate in our case, according to me.

Do you feel clearly better if you did not have an ejaculation in the last 10 days or so?  If nothing else work, than abstinence, at least, should help.  And, also, as Meshal have pointed out, such an abstinence period is needed if you want to test a new control method - otherwise, you are not in a "out-of-POIS" state to begin the test, and this affect the validity of your experiment.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2018, 11:46:29 AM by Quantum »
You are 100% responsible for what you do with anything I post on this forum and of any consequence it could have for you.  Forum rule: ""Do not use POISCenter as a substitute for, or to give, medical advice" Read the remaining part at http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=1.msg10259#msg10259

Nas

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2018, 01:52:40 PM »
Nas ,how many ejaculations r u having while u r testing the treatments.

Certainlpois2,
-The Niacin one was only once.
-I had Nanna's pack recently which helped me somewhat but it was too expensive and masturbation still fucks you up more than the pack can heal you. This one had multiple orgasms but never felt like it stopped POIS, best thing is that there is like 20% less severity. POIS effects stack after masturbation sessions so not really that effective.
-I'm trying currently Cetrizine daily and Diphenhydramine after orgasm. I'm yet to try the Diphenhydramine, but the Cetrizine is not showing anything yet; you'd think at least a little bit boost can be gained if the medication is effective. This one is not, so I don't think it will be that effective at all.

You know, the duration between ejaculations are an important factor while testing the treatments, meaning you have to make sure that you're completely out of POIS before you test the treatment, (like 10 days since your last ejaculation), just to make sure the treatment will affect u.

Kinda failing to see how this is relevant to the symptoms. But I do hear you, I only masturbate once a week but even this rate fucks me up. I am a very horny person which is something that is really hard to control (even impossible sometimes). Thus Abstaining can only lead me so much before I'm afraid I'd explode out frustration. I am going to try to masturbate less and less but I don't think this is a solution in the long term; many implications in life I have to deal with, one of them is the possibility of marriage and my relationship with my wife.

Nas

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2018, 02:05:43 PM »
Hi Nas,

I would like to know what is your usual frequency, in term of ejaculations per week, or per months?


Quantum, it's only once per week and it fucks me up.


I suggest you work on your perception about libido and need for sex, in order to lower it as much as possible.  Once a week, and once every 2 weeks, are good goals for a starter.  After 40 years, I have become very good at that, and have done a huge reprogramming about the cultural aspect of sexuality, because it is not only our hormones that can make su frustrated if we abstain from sex, in my personal experience.    The cultural identity of what is a "true male" greatly contribute to the frustration and urge to have regular ejaculations.  Our instincts are programmed to motivate us to reproduce, but the cultural overlay can greatly strengthen our reproductive instinct - we are, litteraly, programmed by modern culture about how often we should have sex in order to be "normal".  Also, publicity and popular culture ( movies, TV, magazines,..) are abusing the call to reproductive instinct in order to sell and promote about anything, and this can be made conscious and worked on.  Moreover, some modern psychological science will say that sexual restraint is bad for the mental, emotional and physical health...hehehe...but for me, it has been highly positive!  Too much of anyhting is no good, and the NoFap movement,, and all those porn addiction problems, tend to prove that our culture si over-sexualized, even when POIS is not in the picture..



While I do believe "our" culture is over sexualized, it's inescapable. It's everywhere and usually normal people's solution to this problem is masturbation or face sexual frustration. For us it's only the second option and that's where I feel I'm really hitting a brick wall. Without a remedy it's a loosing battle with the most powerful instinct in our brain.


Do you feel clearly better if you did not have an ejaculation in the last 10 days or so?  If nothing else work, than abstinence, at least, should help.  And, also, as Meshal have pointed out, such an abstinence period is needed if you want to test a new control method - otherwise, you are not in a "out-of-POIS" state to begin the test, and this affect the validity of your experiment.


Yes obviously, but again I would notice if a treatment works right after masturbation. How could abstaining for 10 days make a difference? 

demografx

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2018, 02:12:26 PM »


...I feel it's becoming really dangerous and I'm afraid this will lead me to act dangerously, either to my self or with people around me. I seriously need help so I wouldn't  fall to an inescapable cycle of suicidal thoughts :(


Hi, Nas:

Excellent hotline help for Iraq!

I just spoke to them about Iraq. They don’t have
Farsi-speaking support people, but I told them you have excellent command of English.

Also I’ve been recommending them to people for years:
800.273.8255

They said for you to call the States or use internet dialing, e.g., Skype or Google call. 

Calls are *Private* & not recorded.

Open 24/7.

Best wishes!
Demo


« Last Edit: March 21, 2018, 07:40:20 PM by demografx »
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

Nas

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2018, 02:33:48 PM »
Thx Demo,
but I don't know how am I going to explain everything to this hotline. Plus I don't even have a phone; lost it in Egypt; long story.
Thus I prefer to share my emotions here with people who know what I've been through and know how to deal with it.

People here might not be trained therapists but they still help me pop my bubble and break my thoughts off of my mind.
Rest assured I'm not going to do anything stupid, I just wrote this at a time where I was really pissed off and felt like breaking stuff.

Anyways members of this forum helped me great deal and already gave me ideas on how to deal with my POIS so I'm getting a wee bit more hopeful. 
 
Thx again Demo.


demografx

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Re: Hitting a brick wall.
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2018, 04:02:20 PM »
Thx Demo,
but I don't know how am I going to explain everything to this hotline. Plus I don't even have a phone; lost it in Egypt; long story.
Thus I prefer to share my emotions here with people who know what I've been through and know how to deal with it.

People here might not be trained therapists but they still help me pop my bubble and break my thoughts off of my mind.
Rest assured I'm not going to do anything stupid, I just wrote this at a time where I was really pissed off and felt like breaking stuff.

Anyways members of this forum helped me great deal and already gave me ideas on how to deal with my POIS so I'm getting a wee bit more hopeful. 
 
Thx again Demo.

Wonderful!!!

I also understand that outside people (non-POISers) *rarely* understand us!


« Last Edit: March 21, 2018, 04:04:59 PM by demografx »
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business