Author Topic: Suicidal thoughts  (Read 9818 times)

POISrival

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Suicidal thoughts
« on: February 09, 2016, 05:07:46 PM »
Is there any advice on how I can cope with suicidal thoughts if i can't go to a psychiatrist? I mean, Have anyone passed through that and might have a piece of advice?

I'm so lonely in my agony. I don't have anyone to show sympathy for me because I can't tell anyone about the awful syndrome im suffering from.
I can't even tell a friend or my parents, because i will be blamed for it. in a superstitious religious society like the one i live in, people will claim i suffer from POIS because I did the sin of masturbation and God is punishing me. my reputation will get ruined. my parents will not hold the same respect they have for me. and i will suffer from much more psychological pressure alongside with the one i already have because of POIS.

I don't even have anyone who would tell me " I feel for you " or show some empathy for me. I hate the world. I hate the fact I suffer and I can't have some relief. I hate my life and I want to end it. There is so many nights I spend heavily crying. I can't remember what being normal feels like anymore.

My conscious is blaming me for talking about that here,since everyone here is suffering like me and my words are not helpful to anyone here. but I'm really deperessed and I don't even know why I should be alive anymore. POIS is there even when i don't masturbate. I do anything i can and i still fail to get a grasp of my life. I need help.
POIS is my worst enemy

demografx

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2016, 06:49:42 PM »
If you are suicidally depressed, PLEASE call 911 (999 in the UK) -- and/or call either the USA or the UK -- or other countries' --Suicide Hotline contact numbers listed below!
Best wishes,
demo

1-800-273-TALK and 1-800-SUICIDE (USA)


Samaritans:
116 123 (UK)
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

In (India):
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/india-suicide-hotlines.html

(Other countries):
http://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk


« Last Edit: February 09, 2016, 07:11:40 PM by demografx »
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

Quantum

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2016, 06:59:51 PM »
Hi, POISrival,

I sent your way the most empathy and the most support that can be sent through an internet message.  Just know you are not alone in the world with this problem, and that research is going on, and every week, members share valuable input, new solutions for relief of POIS, and little by little, we make progress, and,as you already know, be sure that it has nothing to do with masturbating or not  ( if that would be that case, near 100% of teenagers would have POIS !)

Considering you have POIS symptoms even if no recent ejaculation, I strongly suppose that you may have developed something else along the way, like a depressive mood secondary to POIS.  POIS is a burden, and in itself have a depressive effect.  However, after a week or so, by definition, symptoms subsides if there is no other release.  If you had no release for 3 to 4 weeks, POIS symptoms are not likely to stick to a level that makes your life miserable, like if on day 2 of POIS acute phase. I, for one, very wel know that it is possible to develop secondary psychological problems like anxiety, not caused directly by POIS, but by the fear of POIS and the psychological pressure and, I can say, the inner rebellion about the fact of having POIS.  I no longer have this, after to years of meditation, yoga and psychotherapy, and learning to lessen my symptoms, but I hear you when you say that POIS puts a lot of psychological pressure on yourself.  So, I tell you, there is a way out of this, hang on, POISrival.

If you feel very bad even if no recent release,, I suggest you see your primary physician, to see if anything else could be at play in your case, on top of POIS.  Maybe high anxiety, due to the rigidity of your cultural environment, 

Anyway, just for the fact that you have suicidal thoughts, you should get professional help ( it does not have to be a psychiatrist, you know, as family physicians can at least diagnose and bring help for depressive states). 

I don't know about availability of medical care in your place, but if any is available, look for help lines, where you can call and get help, as well as other services, like a nurse or concealing service at school, or other ( I have no idea of your age, that is why I say at school, but might me at work as well).  If this is possible in your situation, psychotherapy could be of great help  ( it has been, and still is, for me).  Your psychotherapist can become the trusted person you need in your life to talk with.  Psychotherapist are not doctors, but they help a lot with emotional issues like you have now.

You can talk with your parents about your suicidal thoughts, without having to say anything about POIS.  Just refer directly to the symptoms that POIS causes you.  Say you have fatigue, that you feel depressed, that you are anxious.  In fact, that could quite be the case that it is not all related to POIS, if it persists without any E.  Telling part of the truth, and protecting a part of your intimacy, is not lying, you know, it is just that, protecting your secret garden, your intimacy.  If they ask you why you fell that way, just say that you do not know, and that is true, because we still have no idea why a normal physiologic relfex like ejaculation can cause those symptoms, so it is quite true that we do not know at all why we have those symptoms.  This way, you respect yourself, without making up any fanciful story that could cause you further problems.

At the least, continue writing to us, here, where you can safely write about your POIS.

I am wishing you to get better, POISrival, as soon as possible!

Quantum
You are 100% responsible for what you do with anything I post on this forum and of any consequence it could have for you.  Forum rule: ""Do not use POISCenter as a substitute for, or to give, medical advice" Read the remaining part at http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=1.msg10259#msg10259

Quantum

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2016, 07:01:08 PM »
If you are suicidally depressed, PLEASE call 911 (999 in the UK) -- and/or call either the USA or the UK Suicide Hotline contact numbers listed below!
Best wishes,
demo

1-800-273-TALK and 1-800-SUICIDE (USA)


Samaritans:
116 123 (UK)
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us


Great info, Demo.  That is the kind of help line I was referring to.   
You are 100% responsible for what you do with anything I post on this forum and of any consequence it could have for you.  Forum rule: ""Do not use POISCenter as a substitute for, or to give, medical advice" Read the remaining part at http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=1.msg10259#msg10259

less_fogged

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2016, 07:02:36 PM »
Hey PoisRival

There is no need to feel like as if you have a guilty conscious, we are all in the same boat here. Many of us go through phases where we feel at our lowest and hopeless. I know these are just words but I can assure you I've also been through times where I felt rock bottom and somehow managed to uplift myself. I also always kept my problem a secret for many years so if you unable to express yourself elsewhere I think this place is a good place to express your feelings. I think most people here on the forum are open minded enough to understand and relate. I do think it might be a good thing though for you to find and make personal contact with someone you can trust. I personally also went through a moment when my thoughts were going in the wrong direction when I was as low as one can be but I somehow managed to re-gain control. Remember that sometimes we go through times where bad thoughts keep coming back when the illness takes control but it is always possible to have more positive thoughts than negative ones thereafter. It's not you but the illness that's doing this to you.
 
It's the middle of the night for me here where I am, I could not sleep and so came across your post.
Take care,

demografx

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2016, 07:15:39 PM »
If you are thinking of suicide, PLEASE call 911 (999 in the UK) -- and/or call either the USA or the UK -- or other countries' --Suicide Hotline contact numbers listed below!
Best wishes,
demografx

1-800-273-TALK and 1-800-SUICIDE (USA)


Samaritans:
116 123 (UK)
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

In (India):
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/india-suicide-hotlines.html

(Other countries):
http://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT WE ARE NOT PROFESSIONALLY EQUIPPED AT POISCENTER TO HELP YOU WITH MAJOR DEPRESSION, SUICIDE AND/OR OTHER FORMS OF SIMILAR, SERIOUS DISTURBANCES.


« Last Edit: February 10, 2016, 07:25:03 PM by demografx »
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

demografx

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2016, 03:17:21 PM »
Quantum and less_fogged, you are so helpful with your thoughts, ideas and empathy.
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

demografx

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2016, 03:27:05 PM »

POISrival, I can only say that I was once in a very similar frame of mind.
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

COLM_2

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2016, 04:16:13 PM »
Hi Poisrival,

Thank you so much for finding the courage on here to talk about your feelings, in spite of how horrible they must be for you, and I know many of us have been through some similar feelings, but also have come through that phase and got out the other side. You can also.

I can understand from what you describe how you would just like to stop the pain that’s making elements of your life so hard or unbearable. Anything remotely positive is hard to see when you are very down.

I hope you know that there is compassion and kindness for you at this low point from guys here on the forum and also will be from others who care for you and the counsellors who will care about you if you can ask them for help.

Getting support will help you to stop the pain you feel and rediscover good reasons for living. There is a body of ongoing work to help "poisers" but also you may have something else (another health condition) underlying, that is making your pois phase so much worse for you.

Please ask for help.

When you are feeling so low, I know you can't see solutions, but there are evolving solutions once you seek the right support.

No doubt you have mixed feelings about anything to do with taking your own life, so I think we all urge you to reach out to family, friends and/or medical people and specialists (there's a lot of free services out there), I have accessed them over the decades and it has helped me get through to a much better place. I believe I am a better person because I went through the darkness. You will be also. You don't need to mention pois to anyone, just your symptoms and particularly how you are feeling. Quantum is correct.

This impulse to end it all which you may have from time to time, however overpowering, does not last forever.

Bringing up the subject of suicidal thoughts with a person who understands and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Please talk openly about your suicidal thoughts and feelings.

We don't know where you are, so hopefully these links / lists below can help to start your search for support, if you think family of friends might judge you.

http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

A useful free online tool for tracking your mood (when in mild to moderate depressed state) and setting up a buddy system where someone knows to give you a  call if you are down.

Www.moodscope.com

Please reach out to professionals and take a risk.

With warm wishes and renewed wellness.
Colm
« Last Edit: February 10, 2016, 04:22:11 PM by COLM_2 »
Formerly user COLM (previous username accidentally deleted). Few decades with POIS.

demografx

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2016, 04:31:25 PM »
Quantum and less_fogged, you are so helpful with your thoughts, ideas and empathy.
And Colm!
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

Stef

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2016, 03:23:10 PM »
Is there any advice on how I can cope with suicidal thoughts if i can't go to a psychiatrist? I mean, Have anyone passed through that and might have a piece of advice?

I'm so lonely in my agony. I don't have anyone to show sympathy for me because I can't tell anyone about the awful syndrome im suffering from.
I can't even tell a friend or my parents, because i will be blamed for it. in a superstitious religious society like the one i live in, people will claim i suffer from POIS because I did the sin of masturbation and God is punishing me. my reputation will get ruined. my parents will not hold the same respect they have for me. and i will suffer from much more psychological pressure alongside with the one i already have because of POIS.

I don't even have anyone who would tell me " I feel for you " or show some empathy for me. I hate the world. I hate the fact I suffer and I can't have some relief. I hate my life and I want to end it. There is so many nights I spend heavily crying. I can't remember what being normal feels like anymore.

My conscious is blaming me for talking about that here,since everyone here is suffering like me and my words are not helpful to anyone here. but I'm really deperessed and I don't even know why I should be alive anymore. POIS is there even when i don't masturbate. I do anything i can and i still fail to get a grasp of my life. I need help.

Hi, POISrival --

I've just sent you a Private Message (PM).  Probably others have also sent you PMs.

So, please log in and check your messages.

We all hope you're feeling a bit better!

Stef

Prancer

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2016, 04:15:52 PM »
We love you POISrival!! You can tell us anything you want and we'll definitely support you as much as possible.
POISrival, right now we're in a very good position. Just compare mentally where we are right now to where we all were, say like, 5 or 10 years ago, a HUGE night/day difference.
In my opinion we are well on our way to, at the very least, get a MUCH better understanding of the cause of our symptoms, and very possibly a complete resolution of the symptoms we all experience.
Now is the time to erase those thoughts and embrace the very real possibility of having a complete solution to our suffering in the very near future. Don't be shy if you need someone to comfort you in the meantime.
I, or someone else, will be more than happy to verbally comfort you and talk about whatever you're feeling at the moment. POIS can cause a lot of emotions or depressed feelings for some of us, either directly or indirectly. It's not completely out of bounds "abnormal" to have those types of thoughts once in a while, especially with a terrible illness. I'm sure it happens to more peeps than they would admit, and it doesn't mean you will act on it.
Swap those feelings with thoughts of the very real & encouraging situation we are in right now. Now is the best time EVER for a POISer, and it will only get better as time goes on, as more information is gleaned via the research process. Stay well POISrival!!
We're here when you need us. At PoisCenter, we do it right!

demografx

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2016, 04:58:30 PM »
Quantum and less_fogged, you are so helpful with your thoughts, ideas and empathy.
And Colm!

And Stef!

and Prancer!


« Last Edit: February 12, 2016, 08:52:56 PM by demografx »
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

demografx

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2016, 08:13:06 PM »

Egypt Suicide Hotlines

Befrienders Cairo

61 Al Zahara St

Jeddah St

Mohyaldeen, Muhandesen

CAIRO

EGYPT

Hotline: 762 1602/3

Hotline: 762 2381

Website: http://ww1.befrienderscairo.com

E-mail Helpline: befrienders@befrienderscairo.com

« Last Edit: February 12, 2016, 08:53:40 PM by demografx »
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

Hopeful Indian

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2016, 07:04:37 PM »
Hi POISrival,

     Please understand that you are not alone. We all are hopefully fighting this hell disease. I am sure that in the near future we all will be able to live like others.

    I too had thoughts about suicidal attempt in my mind until I found a 'tentative' solution. I suggest it for you. Learn Yoga and practice it daily. It will stop almost all the negative thoughts coming to your mind. Please refer to my previous posts to know which Yoga is suitable for this disease.

    None of us should commit suicide because of this hell. We have done nothing wrong to anybody in this world. We should take it as a challenge to live our life happily no matter the fact that we are affected by POIS.

    Thanks all for supporting him.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2016, 07:13:40 PM by Hopeful Indian »

demografx

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #15 on: February 15, 2016, 08:39:34 PM »
Thank you, Hopeful Indian.
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

POISrival

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2016, 09:36:08 PM »
Thank you all for your replies and concern

I really needed to open up about my feelings to someone and I needed to hear such replies.

I was an empty space where everything seemed so meaningless. All the pain and suffereing of POIS that I would not be rewarded for. I also felt very lonely because i couldnt express my real feelings to anyone around me.
Talking about my feelings to you and letting them out in written words made me able to look at the whole thing from outside. I see now how far things got, and they shouldn't be that way.
Im going to try more efforts to make my life better.

Thanks again.
POIS is my worst enemy

Quantum

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2016, 10:31:42 PM »
POISrival, I am very happy that you feel better now :)   But you should get professionnal help anyway, since feeling better now is one thing, but feeling good is another thing.  And, you have to prevent the relapse of those very negative thoughts and feelings, by working on those thoughts and feeling with a trusted professional. 

Also, keep the help lines phone numbers mentioned here, and do not hesitate to use them at the very first suicidal thought. 

Whenever you feel the need to, do not hesitate to write here, on the forum.  You will feel the empathy of the forum members.  As you see, it helps to talk with people that understand our condition and what we have to go through.

Take care of yourself,  PR, and keep us updated on how you are doing :)



You are 100% responsible for what you do with anything I post on this forum and of any consequence it could have for you.  Forum rule: ""Do not use POISCenter as a substitute for, or to give, medical advice" Read the remaining part at http://poiscenter.com/forums/index.php?topic=1.msg10259#msg10259

less_fogged

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #18 on: February 16, 2016, 10:09:44 AM »
Glad to hear your thoughts are getting positive again. We were getting worried about you.
After all, putting the mind to positive thinking is a part of combating the aggressiveness of the symptoms.

Going less Crazy

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Re: Suicidal thoughts
« Reply #19 on: February 16, 2016, 04:48:05 PM »
I would be happy to provide my cell phone number to anybody just send me a pm.  Sometimes I think it's better to communicate with fellow poisers than some random person on the phone who probably has no idea what POIS can feel like.  I'd be glad to communicate via text.
My POIS managed with Diet (@ diet that 100% manages my pois)Believe my POIS stems from inflammation in the gut. O = neuro POIS from inflammation from the gut

Current supps: thyme and melatonin for sleep, zyrtec anti-pois.