I am going to test for E2 on a regular basis and act accordingly. I have some Aromasin (an AI) on the way to me. I am also going to donate blood every couple months to reduce hematocrits.
The problem is that I may or may not find a doctor that'd prescribe me TRT in Poland as I am very young (22). I'm a person of doing most of stuff myself. Last time I've searched for a doctor I've found an endocrinologist that was supposedly the best in my area (200km ~), 5 star and so on. Paid her for the visit what is 1/12th of my monthly money and she'd look at my testosterone, which was 245ng/dL at the time day after orgasm and she said it was in range. I am not going to waste money for doctors whom I must educate, not the other way around. I will be looking for a doctor but as a side quest, not as my main quest. I want to eventually find someone who respects how much reading, observing and experimenting I went through to find out what is going on with my body, not just shrug it off like if what I did was completely worthless. She directed me to get gastroscopy and colonoscopy, but the problem is I went to her privately, therefore she couldn't write me scripts for colono/gastroscopy for the insurance provided by the government. So I either wait 6 months to get those medical tests (one is in July, another is in... November), or pay for them. In case I pay for them I get them very quickly, but how many other tests is she gonna require? And eventually, she might not even give me the TRT.
I said to myself: fuck this. I rather pay money for testosterone than pay for a doctor lottery - I may get a good doctor or I may get someone completely useless, which is more likely as I haven't yet encountered a single doctor in my life who was truly invested in his patient. Plus I'd have to wait a dozen months if not more before I'd get better, simply because I do not have the money (and do not plan on having more) to invest in the medical tests. I rather spend that on testosterone (which costs, if we're speaking TRT levels, about 20$ a month tops) plus occasional lab tests that are required (which is maybe 20$ a month first couple months then it goes down as T/E2 levels stabilise). In my opinion testosterone therapy can be managed by oneself viably if one does the necessary research and educates oneself on the topic. Amount of stuff I can achieve outside of POIS mindset in 12 months is infinitely more worth it than spending 12 months on doctor tripping.
I plan to eventually find a doctor, but after I stabilise my own treatment. That might not be needed, though... Because so far it's getting better every day.
I've had two orgasms a couple weeks ago which devastated me badly, I did not expect this going down that hard on me, I'm not going back to this.
As for the symptoms. The way I've reacted so far (it's week 3) only proves my point to me. My fatigue is gone. I can exercise and not crash. I can eat a lot. My mood is more stable. I have healthy libido and a much healthier attitude to women, which before suffered a lot because I'd guilt-trip myself for being attracted to women and I couldn't stop it. I sleep and I feel refreshed when I wake up. I don't feel as overloaded with tasks, appointments, goals and have-to-dos as I used to. I can do a multitude of stuff I used to do and feel good about it, although I have yet a lot to learn (or unlearn) because my mental attitude is still a bit backwards.
My forgetfulness seem to have increased for a period of time. I've forgot to take a few things. I realize why - it is because my confidence went up so much that my usual anxiety patterns that should be turning on didn't turn on. For example I left my tent pack in a train. That's because when leaving the train no red light appeared in my mind "Did I take everything? Let's take a look." because I felt confident. I feel it is temporary and I need to re-train myself to operate in a different mindstate.
As to orgasms, coz that's probably what you want to hear the most. About 5-6 days ago I had 2 orgasms, the second the morning after the first one, which was the day before. That was about 2,5 weeks into my regimen. At first, couple hours after second orgasm I thought, I wonder if this is going to be bad. However the day was pretty ok. I felt a little weakness but nowhere as bad as 3-4 weeks ago when I also had 2 orgasms. Most importantly though, I felt absolutely ZERO mood swing. Previously I'd get very depressed, a lot of ruminating thoughts I couldn't stop, my girlfriend would often have to take care of me and I'd feel I despise her despite rationalizing that I do not, really, and that it is only because of the illness. This time though, completely zero emotional effects. I felt noticeably "slower" in my body and mind, but way towards "relaxed" than "fatigued" on the spectrum!
The next day I woke up after 8 hours of sleep REFRESHED. In fact, I felt like I never had an orgasm the day before at all. If I were some random non-POISer, I'd have never noticed anything off that day. I didn't feel any retardation, emotional swinging, brain fog, demotivation, fatigue etc. that day, but I've noticed some mental slowness and random, short bouts of slight fatigue which I did not have to nap/sleep off, I only had to sit down for a few to several minutes and do something non-exhausting like reading a light book/article or passively listening to music. Before, I'd need 2 naps in the day during which I had to lay completely still, only this would rejuvenate me and never fully. To sum up, I have only knew I was symptomatic because I was noticing it consciously and because I have experienced less or more subtle POIS many times, not because it felt so bad that it was impossible to ignore.
If I ever meet a doctor he'll just tell me I should get off my testosterone immidietaly because doctors look down upon self-medicating. And there is no way he's going to convince me to go back because I feel great and I have my bachelor's degree to write in following months, plus I screwed up this semester (because of POIS!) so I'll have to fix it during September. I still have my ups and downs but they're nowhere as unmanageable as they used to be. The best part is, it's going to get even better, it's only been 3 weeks or so and it is said about TRT that most effects take 3 months to manifest, and the full benefit is from 6th month onwards. It's already good. I've started to talk to strangers like I always liked to. I've started adding mass to my used-to-be-4-weeks-ago 120lbs body. Changes won't be done overnight, especially the mental habits that I've learned over past 3 years, like withdrawing from social life at the slightest glance of fatigue in fear of getting more fatigued. Guilt and undermining decision to orgasm every time I have an orgasm. This mental stuff can probably account for bigger percentage than I realize.
My first orgasm 5 days ago, shortly after orgasm I catched myself undermining whether I should have orgasmed or not. I'm glad I did catch myself doing that, because I do not support this habit anymore, it's redundant. I am still gonna control my orgasms but just for the sake of it, orgasms can fatigue and dull the mind in healthy people not just POISers, therefore it's a thing to be watched. But I don't feel restrained anymore, I used to feel like I have to do hard choices and could not accept the reality. I felt sick enough to be miserable but too proud to be supported.
I think I've written enough. I can't wait what time brings me. This is not a 100% cure right now, as there is some stuff missing for sure. But I am going to stay on it for at least a year and see where it takes me, now that I feel my body supports my lifestyle instead of sabotaging me. I might not even need checking cortisol in a few months because all this stuff can maybe get stable at last, provided the regeneratory benefit of testosterone. Cheers.
