Hey,
To reply to a couple of the comments here.
Hi Pony & welcome! I completely agree with everything you said. You are my new friend. But how do you have an orgasm without ejaculating? That seems almost impossible for me. Also, are you 100% sure that you can have as many orgasms as you want, but as long as you don't ejaculate and lose semen you won't feel symptoms? I think that is very, very interesting and it's always something I wondered about. That goes along with what animus did, which was to stop all semen production. (I think he believed that the body trying to replenish lost semen was what was causing his symptoms.) And again, welcome to the discussion!
Prancer! Geeze, if that's all it takes to make new friends, I wish I'd have known that a long time ago. You're my new friend, too!
On the semen loss item, I can't say 100% sure, but close. My last long abstention was over 100 days. I had a lot of sexual activity during that time (like almost daily) with a good amount of non-ejaculatory orgasm in that sex play. Mind you that kind of orgasm isn't exactly the same as ejaculatory, but a remarkably lot of fun. And No, no POIS symptoms. In fact, I believe the sex play helps my creativity, sharpens focus, and makes me generally in a better mood. That's aside from just generally enjoying sex a lot.
The other thing to mention is that I'm shooting blanks -- vasectomy -- so sperm for me is not a significant factor.
I concur with Freedom on his comment about carbs and fat. Reducing carbs and improving the oils I use -- coconut, olive, walnut, avocado -- has changed my life. My weight is really steady, cholesterol down and who knows, maybe it helped my POIS.
Prancer, you asked
how do you have an orgasm without ejaculating?
. It's pretty much how I enjoy sex (and sex is really important to me) and avoid POIS symptoms as much as possible. Of course, I ejaculate occasionally and suffer symptoms, but mostly I enjoy sex, and just don't ejaculate and avoid POIS symptoms.
First, Prancer, you need to separate the notions of orgasm and ejaculation in your head. They are not the same thing. They are not interchangeable terms. Neither is evil to us, they're just different experiences, that's all.
Separating the two helps you to reframe sexuality for yourself. Most people see sex as an event with a beginning and an end with orgasm with ejaculation being the end. If -- as for us POIS guys -- orgasm or ejaculation presents a problem, that thinking causes a serious problem for the entire event because it can't end.
So, you simply remove the obligatory end-piece and reframe sexuality as a continuous journey. No part of sex needs to be there at any given time. Orgasm or ejaculation or foreplay or kink or porn or erection or fantasy have to occur at any time and in any order. Just be sexual and enjoy it.
This lightening up about sex, has for me transformed my POIS. I still have symptoms from time to time, but way less obsessive about it. I just enjoy what comes and do what I want to do. If I wish to ejaculate, I just think ahead a little and do what I can to lessen a couple down days.
If you want to know practically how you can orgasm without ejaculating, I can write more about that. It's really not that hard and changes how you approach sex. Again, much much lighter -- less seriously, more just for fun.
Peace,
