Author Topic: I destroyed a lot relationships with women  (Read 9138 times)

Vandemolen

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I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« on: June 13, 2011, 05:09:00 PM »
In the ten years that I have POIS I had a few relationships. And I ended most of that relationships. Sometimes with very beautifull women. If I look back, I ask myself how did I get her?  ;D
I always searched for something negative in a woman. I didn't know why. But now I know why: it's because of POIS. When in POIS I always get very negative and sometimes depressed, especially on day 1. And sometimes the woman ended the relationship because I get irritated very quick. And sometimes I was not so social (no talking).

For the coming months I will not begin a relationship. First I want to be cured a bit (hopefully at least 50 %), then I can be myself.

I think others have had this problems too with women.
POIS since 2000. Very bad since 2008. I knew that I have POIS since June 2010. Desensitization since March 2011. I stopped with desens in July 2016. I have 50% less POIS. And only 1 day of POIS. Purified CBD works for me, but I am allergic for CBD.

Habibou

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2011, 06:13:53 PM »
I have a girlfriend for 16 months now, but she lives in another country !
It allows me to cure and not loose the relation due to abstinence...

I agree with you, when my POIS got worser, i started to focus more and more on the negative while she is so great  :-\ I know it isn't my real personality to be stuck on it, but it is something hard to make understand to my girlfriend.
I am glad we didn't put our relationship on having sex but with feelings mainly  :)

I have to say it should be really hard to support a man like me in POIS times, and i feel responsible if she is frustrated i don't have any O...
so i am kind of the guilty everywhere and it is so hard to manage.

I feel there are billion of guys who are healthy without my drawback and she could change of boyfriend whenever she wants... it is so hard to feel the pressure of it all the time.
Brain fog 90%  + tired all the time ,sport intolerance, fast heartbeat, colon inflammation

Willem

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2011, 01:33:22 PM »
We should put together a hall of fame for POIS missteps with the ladies.  I dated a girl in college (before POIS) for about 8 months and got really serious talking about marriage and everything.  We broke up and a few years later (while in POIS) we connected on FB and I apologized for not having contacted her earlier, but used as an excuse the fact that I had forgotten her last name.  Youch!!  Hard to apologize and say, "That was my brain on POIS..."

Willem

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2011, 01:34:02 PM »
We should put together a hall of fame for POIS missteps with the ladies.  I dated a girl in college (before POIS) for about 8 months and got really serious talking about marriage and everything.  We broke up and a few years later (while in POIS) we connected on FB and I apologized for not having contacted her earlier, but used as an excuse the fact that I had forgotten her last name.  Youch --- Rude!!  Hard to apologize and say, "That was my brain on POIS..."

Habibou

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2011, 10:33:18 AM »
My girlfriend left me cause I became too negative due to POIS and I did not have time to manage everything in my life since I was brain fogged everytime ...  :-\ It feels like she wanted someone more "active" !s
Brain fog 90%  + tired all the time ,sport intolerance, fast heartbeat, colon inflammation

Daveman

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2011, 10:44:36 AM »
It's a very complex situation. And as you intimate here, it's not all just about sex.

They have to be tolerant not only for the sex situation, but for what happens if we DO have sex. We are not people who manage stress and complexity well when in POIS.

I feel that I sacrifice myself for my wife at times, have sex for her, knowing what it means in the week to come. But that's a secret that we live with, because even then, when we can't cope, they wish for more.

I don't hold it against them. It's just the nature of the beast. All I can say for now, is "thank God for niacin"!

WITHOUT RESEARCH THERE WILL BE NO CURE!
Sessions 5 to 9 days, mostly Flu-like, joints, digestion problems, light cognitive.
Niacin has changed my lif though, now 1 day MAX.
Somewhere in this interaction with Niacin is the answer!

jim zenk

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2012, 06:13:04 PM »
yes I know what you mean,I just ended a relationship or she ended it,we both just agreed to let go because after 5 break ups it just wasent working anymore.when im feeling good i want to call her,but she doesent respond anymore anyway.we were very close at one time sexualy and none sexualy,but i think she was frustrated at my lack of energy and brain fog 75 percent of the time.I dident know about pois at the time as i just found out there is a name for this or eles i could have maby showed her this.It is to late now,she has moved on.she did hang in there for a lot longer than i thought she would.the last thing that happened was we  were going to try to work things out so we meet on a saturday after not seeing each other for 3 weeks of a break up.we were going to get counsuling and go to a recovery meetting,but on sunday after having sex on saturday night i was destroyed with a bad case of pois and could not follow through with the plan and i think she was giving up also.there were other issues to that may have contributed also she may have started dating other people allready i suspected but not sure.its tough when the girl is stronger mentaly and has more energy is hard to keep up and have self esteem.So i keep going hoping i can get over it and find some one new who might understand better and also find a cure.


Daveman

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2012, 06:31:30 PM »
Hi Jim,

Let's hope we can help turn things around for you!!
WITHOUT RESEARCH THERE WILL BE NO CURE!
Sessions 5 to 9 days, mostly Flu-like, joints, digestion problems, light cognitive.
Niacin has changed my lif though, now 1 day MAX.
Somewhere in this interaction with Niacin is the answer!

SN

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2012, 07:52:42 PM »
Hi, I have symptoms of POIS and I am really scared.  Here are my symptoms

Eye - burning sensation
Hands - muscle stiffness
palm - warmth, prickly pain
foot - muscle stiffness,  warmth
nose - nasal congestion
calf and thigh - pain (tired, sore muscle)
tail bone - pain
fatigue, occasional muscle spasm, apnea
symptoms, gets worse on the second day and lasts for 3-5 days

I am having this for almost 7 years now.  My wife is a physician and when we first met, I had severe symptoms.  She pushed me to go to different doctors (she is not my primary doctor, she said she could not be objective in treating me)... So, I consulted a rheumatologist, neurologist and even a cardiologist.  The neurologist diagnosed Vitamin B12 deficiency.  So, I started taking B12 shots.  It made me feel better for 2 years.  Last year my symptoms came back again even though the B12 levels were ok.  This time it was Vitamin D.  I took some supplements and it helped.  Now it struck me again pretty hard.  We are trying to have a baby and this is killing me.  My muscles are aching so bad.  I told my new primary today about the link between orgasm and the symptoms.  It was hard for him to understand as he has never heard of this.  I gave him information about Dr. Waldinger and he is going to check.  Sorry for the long post
Have POIS for over 15 years. Symptoms - Eye irritation, muscle pain and soreness, fever and nasal congestion

Daveman

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2012, 06:38:19 AM »
Hi SN,

Welcome. Sounds like some of your treatments are leading in a good direction.

Some of us here have had good success with B3. It seems to zero in better. Not all of us, but with those for whom it works, it is extremely effective. I consider myself POIS free now thanks to niacin.

If you read the site, you can "bone-up" on it. Give it a try and in particular follow the "directions" to the letter. Makes quite a difference if it's not taken "just so".

As you will also see, we are working hard to find a definite solution. We hope to get a research program going soon. Looks like we are not going to make it for this year, but maybe the next.

Good luck, I hope we can help in some way. At least to lend an understanding and sympathetic ear.
WITHOUT RESEARCH THERE WILL BE NO CURE!
Sessions 5 to 9 days, mostly Flu-like, joints, digestion problems, light cognitive.
Niacin has changed my lif though, now 1 day MAX.
Somewhere in this interaction with Niacin is the answer!

SN

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2012, 08:45:08 PM »
Thanks for the support Daveman.  I really appreciate you and others who share these tips to others.   Just make me feel, I am not alone on this.  My wife is very supportive and trying to find different ways to help me.  Being a doctor, it was hard for her to understand this problem, but she is giving me all the support I need.  I consulted my primary last week, basically he started the conversation saying, he doesn't know what this is.  He ordered a lot of blood work and he is going to refer me to a neurologist.

POIS was under control last 2 years (didn't do anything special), but it came with a vengeance this year.  Also, I noted that I am usually ok in the morning, the worst effect is after lunch, which makes me wonder if this is related to metabolism (for 2-5 days after O).  Does anybody else feel the same?

Can you give me the link that describes the B3 use?

Best, SN
Have POIS for over 15 years. Symptoms - Eye irritation, muscle pain and soreness, fever and nasal congestion

ve-to

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2012, 08:57:30 PM »
The pois destroied my life, trying to niaciana I realized that all his fault. All relationships have been interrupted because of the pois , I also had really cute girls ... as I did not know :). Now I found a girl very understanding and patient, but when I'm in pois  the relationship is really at risk .
Thanks for introducing me to the niacin, I downgraded to the brain fog, but no other symptoms .. but is already a big step forward .. unfortunatelly now I'm 32 years old and all the beautiful life of women rose hunter .. I have not still finished college joined 10 years ago!! thanks pois

Andy451

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Re: I destroyed a lot relationships with women
« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2014, 12:41:19 AM »
In the ten years that I have POIS I had a few relationships. And I ended most of that relationships. Sometimes with very beautifull women. If I look back, I ask myself how did I get her?  ;D
I always searched for something negative in a woman. I didn't know why. But now I know why: it's because of POIS. When in POIS I always get very negative and sometimes depressed, especially on day 1. And sometimes the woman ended the relationship because I get irritated very quick. And sometimes I was not so social (no talking).

For the coming months I will not begin a relationship. First I want to be cured a bit (hopefully at least 50 %), then I can be myself.

I think others have had this problems too with women.

I just did this... Pushed away the one who loved me most by saying something dumb and aggressive over the phone. It was the final straw. Yes, I would doubt love and acceptance until she couldn't anymore.
28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)