Author Topic: A mechanism of Self-Harm- Our Penises!?  (Read 2315 times)


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A mechanism of Self-Harm- Our Penises!?
« on: October 05, 2014, 01:10:17 AM »
I posted a highly personal subject and question related to POIS psychology recently on the polling section of the forum... I was thinking about the subject of the psychology of POIS which we all are very familiar with. I have had to become very aware of mine since it got out of control recently as I had explained in the post.

This particular subject has been talked about a multitude of times on the forum. I don't know if anyone has mentioned the mechanism of self harm as it relates to our view of self/ego.

As I mentioned recently I only know POIS in sexual maturity. As a result, I relate my own sexuality to a feeling of self-hate and pain. For years I have compulsively masturbated to make my POIS worse, in order hurt/punish myself for the POIS!... My view of self has been warped and confused for a long time. Do I deserve pleasure if I cannot get any? Why even try to abstain if I will have to work so hard to recover and feel well? I end up saying fuck it and indulging. Where is the balance?

From experience, I do not think that balance lies on either end of the spectrum. Abstaining for extended periods of time and disconnecting from people who can give you pleasure and love is not the answer. I have done this and the social/sexual anxiety you have may become worse while lowering any sense of self-esteem you had. We are humans, we need love and sex, regardless of what our bodies do to us. You may be lower functioning and have health issues. Yet, acceptance is key. I have POIS and cannot control all of it. Although I can control if I hurt myself with it. I know my limits. No one can dominate their sex drive, it is too basic. Yet, as a POIS guy I would not recommend 3-4 orgasms in a single day or multiple per wk- it gets ugly. Once or twice per wk with someone you care about is my answer. It makes it worth the trouble, so worth it. Not to mention, tantra, bdsm and meditation have a lot to offer with an open-minded partner or by yourself.

I now try to do one sexual thing per day to compensate and feel alive. I do not ejaculate when I do this or even touch my penis. It can be as simple as flirting with a woman you like...But I try not to touch my genitalia with any action unless I am ready to engage sexually.

We do not have to live desolate, lonely lives. We are worth it. And women deserve us, because we can appreciate things about sex and love not everyone may, since we must to extrapolate the needed pleasure for satisfaction.

If you hurt yourself with your POIS and know you do so, it is OK, just don't do it. That includes not seeking anyone or any satisfaction at all. There are specialists and therapists who can help you work though your trauma to engaged with people again.  Focus on your worth and getting that woman or women you want or need to share your life with. If you are managing your POIS and doing what is necessary, then you are not hurting yourself at all. Your social engaged doing things everyone else does, just managing. That is wonderful, keep it up.

I have found it is very easy to hurt yourself out of guilt, shame, hatred and frustration with POIS. I know some of you guys feel this too- maybe all of you. It's OK, we will do this. I love my body and cannot devote anymore energy to hating what biology or God, (however you frame it)- gave me. I even love my POIS symptoms because I must, because they have helped me to see the simple pleasures in life which many may never appreciate. This curse has blessed me with a new-found appreciation for life and people.

Be well, and work on strategies if you need to... Msg me if you want to talk about it...


28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)


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Re: A mechanism of Self-Harm- Our Penises!?
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2014, 09:57:04 AM »
Do you thing that pois get ugly and food intolerance issue is because of too much sexual activity in poisers , i mean out frustrationi used to orgasm 3 or even 5 times in single day and then i get lost for ten complete days , do you thinkthat if masturbation is reduced there is a chance of recover ? And how long it take for a satisfied recovery !?
POIS of 10 yrs now