Author Topic: POIS Psychology  (Read 5151 times)

Andy451

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POIS Psychology
« on: October 04, 2014, 02:48:06 AM »
I am awake right now; cannot sleep. It's a POIS night and instead of getting tired, of recent I have had OCD, hyperactivity. Friday nights were always optimal for POIS, as you all know...

 I believe POIS has sent my psychology in a strange direction... I have been experiencing symptoms of temporary psychosis (for reference of signs- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosis)- for three to four months now. I am just coming out of this state in the last two weeks after adjusting to new psych meds, which are helping immensely with everything including some physical symptoms (Oxcarbazepine 1800mg and buspar 45mg). I knew I needed help 2months ago after my second suicide attempt in two months. The first one I thought I was fine and would manage, just to show you how lost I was.. I couldn't reign in the psychological pain and trauma which POIS has caused; a total lack of control ensued. It has been terrifying, as I watched myself do and say things that made no sense, there was no control. POIS can and will make you hallucinate, dissociate, delusional and catatonic if you let it go too far as I did. I had 6 POIS days in a row, one of which was an all night sex marathon with myself to hurt myself. This is what can produce the mental state I fell into. Besides months of self-induced abuse by way of masturbating too much to punish myself for this pain that I have and because I have never had an untainted orgasm. I have always had POIS and know nothing else. 16yrs with POIS- since I was a 12yr old child was too much to handle mentally this yr. After coming down on my other psych meds that weren't wking anymore this winter.. It was all too much. Be careful guys. Continue to manage and live balanced.

I have pushed away a girlfriend who loves me and I have been with for 8yrs and insulted family on multiple occasions despite them understanding and trying to help. I may have destroyed the relationship with the person I love the most. I blame POIS and take responsibility for my actions. 

What I am saying is; we can be our own worst enemies at times. POIS is no ones fault; Unfortunately it just happened. We will find the answers we need. Be patient in this hell, we will find solace. Do not get to the point I have mentally. You will alienate yourself and your loved ones to your detriment. I could see things happening but could not stop myself from causing more harm. If you need psych drugs to help with your mental state, then please get them guys. POIS is not mental but can cause a brutal psychological syndrome unto itself (which is very mental). They may not cure POIS but can help you cope and not go off the deep end for now..

I must now lift myself and rise above, but remain realistic in my goals. This is hard. I have potential but feel used up and confused by a year that altered my perception.


I became my own worst enemy and biggest threat. My heart was pounding all of the time. 140bpm just standing. 90-100laying with no control of it- for weeks if not a month. I am lucky I did no heart damage. This can kill you if you push it far enough. From what I experienced I genuinely believe that now. If you manage this will not happen to you. I do have an extreme case in that my POIS never goes away no matter how long I abstain for, it just gets better and worse. Be careful, do not let it go that far, because it can. 

I had high sexual activity with POIS for years. It can get very bad.

It has never gone to this point before.. If you are embraced to say so, I get it.. This is hard. Depression, mood-swings, OCD, anxiety I can do. Temporary psychosis is a no go. Don't ever go there, its pure hell and I will never let myself go that far down the POIS rabbit-hole again.

Be healthy guys. You can do the best you can, and that is good enough :) We will find answers.

*************

Have you guys ever experienced the extreme pysch symptoms from POIS which I described?

If you don't wanna say, I get it.. I didn't want say anything but need to share everything now because I want to show how bad this can get mentally and physically.
28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)

LAPOISSE

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2014, 05:48:21 AM »
Hey Andy,

I feel very sorry for you ; You have all my support.

What I can tell which might be helping you is :

Psych meds are shit : It supposed to be a solution but become a problem ; I would not be amazed at all if they were the cause of what you call psychosis symptoms. We are in the middle age of the understanding of the brain functioning ; all we do is interrupting(enhancing, inhibiting) the normal neurotransmitter communication in the brain with every time a direct effect(short term) and indirects effects that are not really known. It's not because they make you feel better for a while that it helps in the long term...If I take cocaine I'll feel much better for two hours but everyone knows that it's not recommended in the long terms ; coccaine, extasy, etc works exactly the same as psych drugs

Stop being obsessed about POIS meaning looking at all your symptoms with judgement and looking to rationalize them ; what you think is the potential solution could be the problem.

Stop making POIS big nasty wolf and the cause of all your problem ; It's a convenient story that we have all telling ourselves but believe me it leads nowhere; As I told in an other post, I strongly believe that POIS is nothing but generalized anxiety disorder ; It doesn't mean that all your symptoms doenst exist, it mean that they are cause by a generalized, chronic anxiety that last for years and totally deregulated the whole body and mind.

"I became my own worst enemy and biggest threat" : yes you are right , so make that stop, offer you some peace ; The more we get angry or desperated, the most you give power to the POIS monster, stop feeding him by accepting, it will loose its power.

"POIS is no ones fault; Unfortunately it just happened" : That is exactly the kind of thinking that keep you away from finding the end of the tunnel....Of course it's not our fault, random events in our life story lead to that..I guess that most of us has some kind of trauma in his life that was cautiously(consciously or not) hided...but you are the only one in control of your mind..you have the power to change things,you are the solution..no one will do that for you..I know it's vey hard to accept, requires energy that you don't have but here is no other choices...I lost 6 years of my life telling me that but it just doesn't make sense, it's just not logical

There is plenty of ways to solve this issue but it's not gonna be a magic pill, or magic whatever...It takes time, commitment and faith but it definitely worth it, it's our life we are talking about ; The first step for that is considering to see all this from a different perspective and accepting that we in someways participated to the cause and above all, can be the solution of all this  ; once you have do that half of the work is already done.
My way through this consisted in a long analysis of myself with a therapist i trust and meditation.

It's probably an other sword shot in the water as I perfectly know how anxious mind function but I needed to try as I feel really sad to see so much life being wasted.

If you wanna talk about that, send me a PM

Colm

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2014, 08:12:53 AM »
Andy, reading your post made me feel very sad, because you are going through the hell of severe POIS, as do others here, many who probably cannot express it as eloquently as you are able to.

I don't want to go beyond some of the great advice and support from Lapoisse.

Just to let you know I can relate with a lot of the experiences you describe from earlier days, when I could not avoid "O"''s & "NE"'s in the way I fortunately can now. The girl friend & family difficulties brought about by dealing with this chronic condition at it's height bring back painful memories.

I would encourage you to trust yourself and trust in the future, and to keep looking here for approaches, ones beyond the conventional, for relief from your personal hell. I have found very helpful things from many sources here in the last 15 months.

On the positive side, as a community we are learning from each other. There is so much rich information on the forum, and some that is well thought out & researched, if not validated.

There is a lot of hope now with research, and reasons to keep searching for things that will be a better fit for your symptom containment.

Maybe you are labeling everything at the door of POIS, when perhaps there are other things you also need to consider.

As Lapoisse says "you are the one in control of your own mind, you have the power to change things, you are the solution". Again mind over matter, don't let this beast control you.

Keep searching here for things that will work for you and take it easy on yourself. You are doing your best, you know that.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2014, 08:16:55 AM by Colm »

Andy451

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2014, 01:55:15 PM »
Thanks for the support and advice!It helps to know that others understand where I am coming from and the challenges we face with our mindset being our worst enemy besides  other symptoms..

 You are right, meds are not the solution, or a majic pill,  but can help. If you got to that point I did- I guarantee you will need those pills to balance you back out; not to cure your POIS. This is a warning and learning experience for me. And psych meds are not shit as you say.. I have taken over 30 in my life time, (most of which did not wk at all and I have tried once) and only 3 have worked at all and some do help with POIS (particularly the class of drugs which help with seizures- which relates to the research about nerve dystonia..) Epileptics use the simulators which will be tested on POIS sufferers in upcoming research. The only meds which have wkd on me are also use on epileptics and high anxiety as you said..   

 POIS is not generalized anxiety even if it were purely a psych issue. It would be considered a highly delusional state of somataform disorder (http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/somatoform-disorders-symptoms-types-treatment)- which is co-morbid w/ high-anxiety, driven by OCD; related to bodily-function. Plus- nocturnal emission POIS response cannot be habituated in the same way that other psych symptoms are..I have been around Psych treatment for 12 years (specialists in human sexuality who have seen other POIS guys) understand my particular psych symptoms all to well, and where they may blend with the physical, exacerbating each other.

 What is not mental is the palpitations and myoclonis - plus some other physical symptoms (this regulatory/autonomic- not in your head). These symptoms are not clearly understood by anyone.. Immunology is just as much a mystery as psychology these days, yet we get our acronym POIS from an immunologist, which is not fully accurate and should be changed once it is understood better. Medicine is trial and error though.

But just because we don't fully understand something does not mean we cannot treat what we can. That being said psych drugs do help with some things, but are not a cure or the best treatment yet an option if you need it. Talk therapy and meditation certainly do help as well and have in my case.

POIS did just happen; I did not cause it, but take responsibility for the things I can control like making it worse to punish myself. Or, letting things get out of control and then blaming POIS. This is me, I am not POIS.

 Things can get out of control if you let them ... And they will, so don't let them.

Wish me luck with that lovely girlfriend of mine I am on break with... :) I hope it wks out, I love her dearly and know she loves me back.
28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)

Stef

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2014, 08:50:33 PM »
Thanks for the support and advice!It helps to know that others understand where I am coming from and the challenges we face with our mindset being our worst enemy besides  other symptoms..

 You are right, meds are not the solution, or a majic pill,  but can help. If you got to that point I did- I guarantee you will need those pills to balance you back out; not to cure your POIS. This is a warning and learning experience for me. And psych meds are not shit as you say.. I have taken over 30 in my life time, (most of which did not wk at all and I have tried once) and only 3 have worked at all and some do help with POIS (particularly the class of drugs which help with seizures- which relates to the research about nerve dystonia..) Epileptics use the simulators which will be tested on POIS sufferers in upcoming research. The only meds which have wkd on me are also use on epileptics and high anxiety as you said..   

 POIS is not generalized anxiety even if it were purely a psych issue. It would be considered a highly delusional state of somataform disorder (http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/somatoform-disorders-symptoms-types-treatment)- which is co-morbid w/ high-anxiety, driven by OCD; related to bodily-function. Plus- nocturnal emission POIS response cannot be habituated in the same way that other psych symptoms are..I have been around Psych treatment for 12 years (specialists in human sexuality who have seen other POIS guys) understand my particular psych symptoms all to well, and where they may blend with the physical, exacerbating each other.

 What is not mental is the palpitations and myoclonis - plus some other physical symptoms (this regulatory/autonomic- not in your head). These symptoms are not clearly understood by anyone.. Immunology is just as much a mystery as psychology these days, yet we get our acronym POIS from an immunologist, which is not fully accurate and should be changed once it is understood better. Medicine is trial and error though.

But just because we don't fully understand something does not mean we cannot treat what we can. That being said psych drugs do help with some things, but are not a cure or the best treatment yet an option if you need it. Talk therapy and meditation certainly do help as well and have in my case.

POIS did just happen; I did not cause it, but take responsibility for the things I can control like making it worse to punish myself. Or, letting things get out of control and then blaming POIS. This is me, I am not POIS.

 Things can get out of control if you let them ... And they will, so don't let them.

Wish me luck with that lovely girlfriend of mine I am on break with... :) I hope it wks out, I love her dearly and know she loves me back.

Andy,

Your posts reflect such a genuine inner strength!

I'm in full agreement with you about psych meds. They're not "magic pills" -- but they can and do save lives. With a condition like POIS -- where really nothing is known (yet), but the physical and psych symptoms are definitely there and can be SO extreme -- psych meds just may act differently than expected. Close monitoring is so important.

We're all wishing you the best of luck with your girlfriend (although I honestly don't think that luck is required). You two will get back together if it's supposed to happen. What I'm really wishing for you is continued strength. Please don't let yourself get overwhelmed -- if it starts up again, call your doc! 

Stef

Labyrinth

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2014, 09:54:57 PM »
All the best Andy , Good luck with your girl friend she deserves you and your girl friend who loves u is the best motivation to fight pois , You are inspiring me and i will follow you in the psych medication soon :)
POIS of 10 yrs now

demografx

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2014, 11:48:07 PM »
Andy, best wishes for you and your girlfriend. :)
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

Andy451

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2014, 12:13:21 AM »
Thanks guys :). It means a lot- the world.

Hopefully back to work nxt wk or two wks from now... I must get my mind off of this pain.

Life should not just be survival, I am ready to live again. :)
28 yo M- POIS for 16yrs (since age 12). Chronic POIS- always there

Tried desensitization for 1.5yrs & was unsuccessful (POIS worse at 1/1000)

 Exercising- (running/light weights/situps/yoga) Ice my perineum. Gluten-free. Supplements- limited success.Meds- Oxcarbazepine/Buspar (past-Depakote10yrs)

G-man

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2014, 02:59:00 AM »
The universe can be viewed in an infinite number of ways depending on what you believe to be real.

demografx

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2014, 12:22:56 PM »

I am ready to live again. :)


Wonderful words! :)
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

demografx

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2014, 01:51:42 PM »
The universe can be viewed in an infinite number of ways depending on what you believe to be real.

Thanks, G-man, that helps look at "problems" in a new way.
10 years of significant POIS-reduction, treatment consisting of daily (365 days/year) testosterone patches.

TRT must be checked out carefully with your doctor due to fertility, cardiac and other risks.

40+ years of severe 4-days-POIS, married, raised a family, started/ran a business

sameer7777

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Re: POIS Psychology
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2014, 03:23:47 PM »
ANDY Good Luck bro !!!!!!!!!!
pls don't expose me.
AFTER SEX/MASTERBATION (FLU LIKE SYMPTOMS)
1)BACK NECK PAIN GOES TO DOWN SPINE
2)NERVES LIKE SQUEEZED OUT
3)MORNING FEET NERVES PAIN
4)NASAL INFLAMMATION
5)BRAIN FOG
6)DEPRESSION
7)HIGH SUGAR LEVELS (TRIED INSULIN FOR 1 YEAR MAKE ME MORE SICK