Hello Daveman, Prancer, Traderwithpois,
I have tried positive thinking, mindfulness and other mental / emotional approaches to cure my POIS. It has helped me over the years, but my experience, is not a cure from same.
Please allow me to introduce myself on the board, as I may be one of your longer suffering members with what I now see, much to my amazement on your forum, is a recognised condition or illness, POIS. I have been observing the board for a while now.
Every year or two in the last decade I have tried to no avail, to research online and see if there was any medical references to what I thought was a "just me" condition.
Incredibly, I now find later on my life, this POIS information. So I am not alone.
I have suffered with this debilitating condition for 30+, going on 40 years, without knowing it had a community of sufferers or a name called POIS.
I don't know quite how I got to this website, but have mixed emotions now that I have.
It is heartening in some ways to know I am not alone on this planet with these symptoms, these lonely experiences, as I have assumed.
However, from reading the forum, it appears there has been a lack of engagement or enthusiasm in the medical community to acknowledge this condition, to research it's cause and to address a real cure. I do acknowledge all the work, it would appear, that this community has done to get some research going.
I am of course male, 54 years of age, married almost 20 years, with two children. I have tried to deal with this confounding condition pretty much in silence, and without a real sense of hope for having a normal healthy sex life ever beyond avoiding orgasms.
I am a business professional, but have stayed self-employed for over a decade, as my continual symptoms and condition hampers a commitment to normal 5 day 9-5, due to the depression and lowered energy component present when this kicks in immediately with orgasm.
I tend to work 12 hour days, when I feel at my better self, and otherwise half days, if not. My work performance and confidence is linked to the volume and presence of POIS symptoms.
I have generally got on with things as best I can, avoiding intimacy more than I would like, restricting intercourse and masturbation, particularly if I know an important business or social event is coming up within three days.
It is only honest to say my relationships have been impacted by severe POIS in my 20's and in my marriage to my wife of close on 20 years.
Only once in this timescale of being effected by the condition have I been able to confide the true nature of what occurs with me, to another human.
Where I grew up , sexual matters would not traditionally have been aired very much privately, never mind in public. More open now of course.
Since I can remember (from late teens at least), post orgasm, I have suffered skins problems (seborhaeic dermatitis, with a severe sunshine allergy) on my scalp, and face, chest and thighs. I get headaches, low energy and flu like symptoms with a moderate to severe social phobia and feelings of isolation, all post Orgasm.
I experience really bad dull headaches on awakening every morning. Sometimes I can feel in the am, like I have been hit by a bus t.b.h. Also, tensions that have been present within me post O, begin to subside about 3 days after orgasm. In my 20's, I was seriously irritable for 3 days post orgasm.
All symptoms kick in at their most pronounced state for up to 3 days plus post orgasm.
In my 20's, up to two weeks abstinence would pretty clear all of the psychological, emotional and physical symptoms of my pois.
However, as I have become older, the symptoms, while reducing after three days, are always there. It seems things are more chronic and difficult to shift.
Because of the social phobia and alienation aspects to this in my teens and early 20's, I was hospitalised with a complete nervous breakdown related to the isolation and impact of the condition.This was during the early 80's, when the skin flare up was very bad.
I have tried so many things to help myself, many many (like positive mental approaches, meditation etc) without giving me hope of resolution, a lot helping with individual symptoms, like knowing that the need for exercise if I am depressed about my health, using special creams/shampoos for the skin reactions to Orgasm, and use of nasacort nasal spray last 20 years as my nasal passages well and block up post Orgasm.
I do live my life now, as best I can, am reasonably well sometimes (a week away from orgasm). I try to focus on other things in my life, like my two growing children, family/friends (none who know about my POIS). I also focus a lot on my work for a living, which my success has been impacted significantly by and a few hobbies.
Some 15 years back, I plucked up the courage to go to my GP and tell him what was happening to me, in general terms.
He (was focused on my am headaches) and agreed to have me tested for two days in hospital with a well reknowned general physician where I live. The tests found nothing, so it was suggested to me I was suffering from depression and should take meds, which I haven't. I suspect the label hypochondriac was maybe put on me. This only brings more self blame, for a condition I don't understand. I know I am not a depressed person, it comes on around the symptoms of this condition. Also, when I used have more nocturnal orgasms, it would still be the same, as with other ejacs.
I know that any depression that I experience in life is situational and made worse by my POIS or the auto-response that occurs.
There is something that happens in my system also, post O'g. A major depletion in something or a negative immune response to the release of semen. That is what I have now known for decades and has me avoiding, even though I have needs.
I am glad to have landed here in some ways. I will try some of the suggested symptom reduction methods, although will try avoiding becoming neurotic about trying things, as I did years back, trying desperately anything and some silly cures.
I hope to hear back from someone here, and with some hope as to what might happen as a result of your efforts to get some research done.
Thanks for allowing me to share on the forum.
