Newly Married with POIS

[Samir]

So after 38 years of wandering on this Earth thinking she didn't exist, I found my soulmate.   And we are now happily married...except...POIS.

So when in POIS, we have these horrible arguements because I end up saying or doing something that's influenced by my POIS state of being.    And that was hurting our marriage.

So we did an experiment where we abstained for almost a month.  But she can't take this as she wants her hubby!  And I want her too!  But our arguements have come down to a  more normal level, and I'd rather have that.  She doesn't agree.

What have you found that works for you?  I know there's a balance in here somewhere (along with making sure I take my daily tablets), but I haven't found it yet.

[vonstermommy]

Niacin is working for many here - including Daveman our moderator.  We have tried it for 6 months now - HUGE difference in our sex life and marriage.  No fighting as we both have the data, the forum, the knowledge, the experiments and a plan. 13 bad years and 6 months of shock and glee that this Niacin works!

[fsol]

Everyone seems to have their own solutions, but Niacin is a safe bet for most people. For me personally it's high amounts of B12, B1 and B6 on a daily basis and then Niacin before a O. Also, lately I'm finding that Krill oil is working well. Keeping fit and eating healthy is definitely also a big factor.

But ask any member and you might get a different answer.

[Samir]

Everyone seems to have their own solutions, but Niacin is a safe bet for most people. For me personally it's high amounts of B12, B1 and B6 on a daily basis and then Niacin before a O. Also, lately I'm finding that Krill oil is working well. Keeping fit and eating healthy is definitely also a big factor.

But ask any member and you might get a different answer.

Thank you both for answers.  I've also been using Krill oil at home.  We've moved to NYC and stress levels are high.  It's been a fight every day after one night of being intimate.

[kuba]

Everyone seems to have their own solutions, but Niacin is a safe bet for most people. For me personally it's high amounts of B12, B1 and B6 on a daily basis and then Niacin before a O. Also, lately I'm finding that Krill oil is working well. Keeping fit and eating healthy is definitely also a big factor.

But ask any member and you might get a different answer.

i was eating super healthy raw vegan diet and masturbating and it didnt help me. Maybe because i was on this diet max 1 day, i dunno

[Defsync]

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor.
Lyrica has seemed to help best after an O with steadying the mind, takin for 3 days at a dosage from 50-300mgs per day depending on your tolerance. Always consult your doctor of course.
Of course I personally live outside the world of doctors and try my own cures based on my own research, since I will be dead from old age before a real cure is found. Stay safe.

[Samir]

Update.  I tried Niacin and it upset my stomach, so I couldn't use that.  I've reverted to the same regiment I used before, but still haven't found a good sushi place (sushi recovers me very quickly--I'm guessing due to the fish oils).

But the real solution has been no more sex.   The last time we had sex was in October of 2013.  She now thinks she's fat, so she won't even let me get intimate with her.  We both still love each other, but this is a unusual state to be in for year 2 of marriage.

On top of everything else, stress levels are dangerously high.  We moved from NYC after only a few months to Milwaukee, and I've had to dedicate my life to helping my parents out of a massive financial nosedive.  Her parents have needed financial help too, and we barely have enough for ourselves.

Needless to say, POIS has only made things much worse when it is around.  I try to keep it at bay at all times.

[devastated]

I feel for you brother. I've been married for 8 years and having sex more often than twice a month becomes a martyrdom due to all the dreadful symptoms.

I was lucky enough to have an understanding wife that doesn't place sex as her first priority in life, but I know that I unfortunately belong to the exceptions.

If she loves you for who you are and is serious about your marriage, she'll make patience long enough for a cure to be found.

Try some olive extract as well. Helped alleviate 20-30% of my symptoms and made the situation a bit more bearable. Drink many liquids the first 3-4 days after ejaculation and sleep early (and for as long as possible). That's my best advice for now, since I daren't approach Niacin.

[Samir]

Thank you for the advice devastated.  It's almost a year now, but somehow things are still okay without intimacy.

My desire is as strong as ever, but now it's my wife who says no.   To a certain extent, I feel that she doesn't want me anymore, but I know that is not true.

I think in the next year or two when the stress levels and problems subside, we may be able to come back to working on this.  In the meantime, I have to keep myself occupied and at bay at all times.  POIS sucks.

[Mishlen]

Yes, pois and gf/wife is complex together. Currently I have ended up just to give satisfaction to my significant other without having mine O/E. It's okay for me. And okay for her too. She knows my condition, and i suppose she understands it somewhat, thought sometimes the needs and condition doesn't match so well, leading to short therm friction between us. It is then just important to keep own mind calm and keep on communicating.

Because i don't O/E with her, i do it sometimes then on my own time (which she is also aware). I am sometimes able to escape my worst pois when i have total control (mb alone) but during s-intercourse it is not easy.

[sameer7777]

i am married for 20 years now with POIS , the only thing helps is vitamin b injections and not tablets ....... and also the fish and prawns ..... dont know the connection ....