!Note: I don't have any official qualification in psychotherapy or any related subjects. All the concepts and methods are only from my personal experience. If you have a psychological condition it might be wise to see someone to help you with it. Take care if you try something new out, I'm not responsible for any ramifications of your doing.
Dear people, I've been on the way of healing my symptoms with dedicated focus for one year now. I realized that I have POIS-symptoms about 5 years ago. Now I am almost completely free of any symptoms, but I'm still improving my method here and there to reach a 100% (I'm now at 97%). On this way I went from the highest highs (my first loving relationship) to the deepest depths (the depressive phase after the breakup). This lead my to the realization that this life is the most precious gift I'll ever get and I want to live it up to the fullest. Although for a long time I couldn't affect my symptoms, my interpretation of them and my life in general were in my reach. So I decided the do a dual path healing my symptoms but also my reaction - my emotions and thoughts. Healing my thoughts were the key making my physical healing possible, because I could then focus my thoughts on the solving the problem rather than just reacting to my emotions. I'm not saying POIS is mental, but rather our mental state has a great influence on our healing powers and focus.
With this post I want to share some of the concepts, methods and emotional targets which were the most rewarding for me.
Concepts General realizations I made on my way of understanding and that helped me on the path of healing were:
• The actual phenomenon (symptom) and your interpretation (though+action) are very different things.
• Almost every time your thoughts are misled. Your thoughts make the actual symptoms a lot worse than they actually are and create more negative feelings/sensations. This leads to a circle of negative thinking/emotions.
• You can deal with your interpretation/action independently of the actual symptoms.
• Body and mind are very closely connected - you could say the are one. By influencing one side the other side will profit. Even if the actual cause for the symptoms is bodily you can influence them by influencing your mind. The following video shows a great summary and its' tremendous impact:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xidL-WMJWwg • That what you call you is different from your regular understanding - You are neither your thoughts nor your sensations or feelings. All these things are changing all the time.
• No one will come to save you - The only one who can save you are you. No one else! Don't search for someone. Find the strength in yourself.
• Don't be cheap on yourself. Be ready to spend the money you need to heal yourself. Isn’t health the most worthy thing to have?
• Be open to everything - Not only what doctors say. Get informed yourself. Know your resources for your healing. Accept what actually helps you - don't judge. For example if people in your culture get stigmatised for going to psychotherapy - don't bother if this might help you. Your wellbeing is most important.
• Everything changes - really everything! Your body, the symptoms, your interpretation of the symptoms, your life, the world around you - Everything.
Summary: Get in touch with your subconscious mind and become boss of your interpretation and action. This will help you tremendously with healing your actual symptoms, because you have the confidence to heal them and don't get affected by any setbacks. It also allows you to see more things that are holding you back in life - It's probably not only the symptoms.
!Note: Although knowing these principles is important you need to go beyond knowing to see the real benefits. You need to live them.
TechniquesAlso I found certain methods which are very easy to do but still can have a tremendous effect on you emotions and thoughts. These can be either helpful if you are currently not balanced or if you want to explore more of your old subconscious material. You can do them by yourself at home. The important part is to actually try them out, not just read about it.
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Self hug • If you don't feel safe in the moment this is an important exercise to do. Feeling safe is most important for good change.
• Instructions:
- Put your left hand in your right armpit and hold your shoulder tightly.
- Let your right hand rest on your left shoulder.
- Close your eyes and feel safe.
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Sedona Method • This method is one of the most important ones for me. It helps you to release negative emotions from the present moment as well as the past.
• Working on emotions from the past can be extremely rewarding since these will also have a real impact on your feelings today. I was for a long time carrying around a lot of old emotions.
• I may sound too easy to do but trust me this method helped to an incredible extend.
• Instructions:
- Sit down by yourself in a quiet room.
- Close your eyes.
- Search for a feeling you want to tackle - You don't need to name it. Just feel where in the body the sensations resides.
- Focus your attention on the feeling, without judging it. Stay calm in your mind - allowing everything to happen.
- Ask yourself the following question:
1. Could I let this feeling go?
2. Am I completely ready to let this feeling go?
3. (If you answered 2 with No -> Would I prefer keeping the feeling or being free?)
4. When? (Now)
- Answer with yes or no - Be honest!
- Repeat this process until the feeling is gone.
• Taken out of the book: The Sedona Method (
https://www.amazon.de/Sedona-Method-English-Hale-Dwoskin-ebook/dp/B0050KEG64/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1564855816&sr=8-1 )
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TRE (Trauma release exercises) • Emotions are stored as subconscious material in the body. From time to time this material gets brought to the top. This can be true during you symptom phase or in the other situations when you have certain conversations or thoughts.
• TRE by David Berceli helps you to let stress out of your nervous system by allowing your body to shake in a controlled manner.
• This can actually also help during your POIS symptoms to ease the pain.
• Instructions:
- Do the exercises described in various resources (for example here -
https://youtu.be/26zoFKZzbQc )
- In the official version of David Berceli there are 7 exercises. You can also just do a subset of them and get into
- Lay down with your hands behind your head and weaken you but muscles.
- Shake for around 10-15 minutes.
- Feel free and light.
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Holotropic Breathwork • This method can have a tremendous influence on your consciousness - it brings you in a very different state of mind - be ready for it.
• It has helped me to feel free like never before in times where I still wasn't feeling very safe or free.
• With any different state of consciousness the most important rule is to not react during the experience and give you a break for a least one day afterwards to come back to normal.
• It is advisable to have some meditation experience in order to handle the things that might surface.
• Do it when you have time and when you feel safe.
• This method works by increasing your breath rate therefore increasing the oxygen in your body and mind.
• You might get cramps in your body - They will pass shortly after the exercise.
• If you don't feel comfortable doing it alone find somebody to watch you or do it in a official group setting.
• Instructions:
- Prepare yourself: Go to the toilet, put some balm on your lips, drink some water.
- Lay down.
- Start a timer for duration you want to try (at first maybe 20,30 minutes - later you can go for 1 to 2 hours)
- Start to inhale fully through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
- Slowly increase the speed of your breath.
- Find yourself a rhythm which is right for you.
- Keep on breathing until the timer rings.
- Keep laying down and just watch what happens.
- Deep and old feelings might surface - see them, accept them, let them pass through your body
• Full instructions:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6VcbH2ypMg •
Hypnotherapy • This has been the first most transformative thing for my well being.
• In Hypnotherapy just like Holotropic Breathwork you go deeply into your subconscious mind to find certain things that hold you back.
• I did two sessions back in Germany and three in Thailand. During the third session in Thailand I was at some point upright in my chair without someone touching me. It felt like an exorcism but in a good way. The nights afterwards I could barely sleep because I felt so happy. At this point I decided to be done with my depressive phase.
• Instructions:
- It is important to find someone you can trust and really knows his craft. Both factors will greatly influence the success of the session.
- Be open for it!
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Actively surrendering to anything • Learn how to surrender to/accept the moment right now.
• The moment right now is the only constant you have - everything else is changing or only in your mind stable (past/future)
• Even if it seems that the moment is unendurable you can still accept it - You'll feel a lot lighter afterwards.
• The book of “Eckhart Tolle - The power of now” has help me a great deal with this:
https://www.amazon.de/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/0340733500/ •
Changing your default reaction to thoughts • I learned this technique on a 10-day Vipassana retreat
• Everytime a thought or sensation comes up instead of reacting with aversion to something negative or clinging to something positive or ignoring it, you tell the thought or sensation there is not need to react, because everything is changing anyways (see concepts).
• This technique works because your subconscious mind always wants to hear a logical explanation. The subconscious mind will accept the constant changing as such explanation and in reality let go of the behaviour. You are basically unlearning old thought patterns.
• Is is important to really live the concept of constant change (see concept section)
• This will help you to unlearn any fear.
• This method was one pillar in healing my NE.
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Meditation • This was one of the first things I installed for my well being and is still one big ressource of relaxation in my life.
• By now I have meditated every day for the last 2 years with almost no exceptions.
• You can find various methods and teachers to teach you about meditation. Find which method works for you.
• Two methods I like particularly:
- Heart rate variability Meditation (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEc6RLixpVs )
- Strong determination sitting / Do-Nothing-Meditation (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4yipKfO8nA)
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Retreat • With a retreat you focus yourself for x days on one certain task for example meditation.
• I did a 10-day Vipassana retreat in Triebl, Germany - they are free and available worldwide.
• This may be a very intense experience if you're new to meditation and even with experience you still need to overcome a lot of inner resistance.
Possible emotional wounds In the following list you'll find possible targets to bring peace to with all the methods. Though it really depends on the person which things you worry about:
• Feeling safe (most important before you are able to change your psyche)
• Your fear of the symptoms
• Your urge to have sex and replicate yourself --> Might stand in conflict with the need of wellbeing
• Your self-worth
• Your need to be in a loving relationship
• Your need to have friends
• Old relationships with your mother and father
• Past intimate relationships
• Your relationship to masturbation and sex
• Being in a victimhood
Healing your NE • For a time I experienced NEs quite often (up to every third day), now I have fully recovered from this.
• In my experience NEs are mostly a psychological issue, although some bodily states can have a influence. They started after the breakup with my ex girlfriend and I suspect there were a reaction of the conflict between my sexual desire and my need of wellbeing which suppressed my sexual desire.
• I noticed that in most cases I could actually control whether NEs occurred or not by just telling my subconscious mind for example if I had a important meeting the other day.
• The following things ultimately helped me:
• Shortly before you go to sleep get in touch with your subconscious mind.
- Ask yourself: Do I have a desire to have sex? Yes and no are valid and okay.
- (Especially if yes) Tell your subconscious mind that a NE would cause you to not be fit and well the next day, so you would prefer to be fit and well tomorrow. At this point my subconscious mind will always agree that that is the better option tomorrow and don't have NE tonight.
- And instruct your subconscious mind to let go of sexual desire now for tonight. Pictures of a sexual nature might arise - watch them and realise that they are changing anyways - just like everything. Then at some point after a couple of seconds or a minute the pictures will stop and you are ready for a energising sleep.
• Unlearning the habit of worrying all the time about NE and POIS. Just as described in the methods section you need to realize that everything is changing and change your default reaction to thoughts and emotions about NE or POIS to this (no need to react).
• Unlearn the predominant need to mate yourself (yes it’s possible - life has so much more to offer).
• Unlearn the habit of connecting possible triggers with NE.
• Release your past emotions at the moment where your NE started (Hypnotherapy + Sedona-Method).
• Know your resources - If the worries are too strong and you are forced to a reaction take something that helps you with the sleep. A cup of camomile tea always helped me to relax and also has bodily effects.
Closing wordsToday I can say I'm grateful for having the symptoms - it really made me wake up. Without it my life would have been incredibly less fulfilling. Now I'm steering into a future with complete freedom of symptoms and dependence to thoughts and emotions. And I might even start a new professional life in psychotherapy.
P. S.: I will share my method of healing in the near future.
