I haven't logged in for a few years because I found something that works *very* well for me. Thought I would share.
There's a way to separate orgasm from ejaculating--where you're left feeling sexually satisfied, but no sperm has been released.
Like someone posted in 2018 on here, there are trainings in what is called "non ejaculatory orgasm" in men's tantra. In 2019 I attended one of those trainings, and practiced for a few weeks to develop the basic technique. The technique allows you to masturbate and experience the pulsations of orgasm. But no sperm is released (the prostate may release some fluid, but you can stop the muscles that lift the testicles to release the actual sperm).
Here's exactly what I do and how to develop it:
a) Every time I'm in the car driving somewhere, I squeeze my urinary sphincter muscle about 50 times, holding it from 3 to 10 seconds per squeeze. (This is called Kegels and tones the pelvic floor). It took about 2 weeks of this exercise before I started being able to separate the orgasm from the ejaculation. Try practicing it every time you hear music in the car, or to your favorite CD.
b) After a couple weeks of that, I began masturbating every day or two very intentionally. At first, getting near the edge and practicing squeezing that same muscle. Where there would be the pulsations when you're close, but not over the edge. You have to practice keeping the muscle squeezed while the pulsations happen. (This phase was not very satisfying... but if you go to the edge several times and back off, it can quench the sexual thirst).
c) I practiced getting closer to the edge. Occasionally, I would end up going too far, and I would then practice squeezing that same sphincter muscle while ejaculating--it's almost impossible at first, but after a couple months, I actually built the muscle up enough to be able to stop the ejaculation even *just past* the edge while having a real orgasm. So at this step, the goal is to be able to have a satisfying half-orgasm (instead of having to edge several times and back off). I found the quality of the orgasms improved over time, especially when I learned to relax the other muscles in my body... at first I was just clenching everything to stop the ejaculation.
d) During that phase, I discovered an additional trick that helps prevent mistakes (and thus reduce POIS). If you put your pointer and middle fingers in a "V", one on either side of your cock, you can press down and keep the balls from rising during the orgasm. That muscle movement happens as part of ejaculation. Learning to do this seemed to make the kegels much more effective at reducing actual POIS symptoms.
With this, I have literally been masturbating every day or two, having increasingly strong orgasms without actually ejaculating. I'm not horny or feeling like I'm missing out on anything. And I don't feel foggy afterwards (I'm one of the ones who gets debilitating brain fog, aching in my vas deferens, and flu-like symptoms for several days from POIS).
As a couple notes, I sense that my POIS is some sort of sperm allergy. Doing the above process, there are days where my prostate will drain quite a bit of fluid, and I will experience zero POIS symptoms. But if I mistime something, or remove my fingers (trick d) and my testicles rise up and release their contents, I develop an awful POIS just like before. I also do a visualization at the moment of ejaculation I learned in tantra and kundalini yoga classes, to visualize the energy going up my spine (instead of out my cock!).
I don't have sex with others often enough to vouch for whether or not this works in that context. I will say that I have had a couple successes, having sex with others with the same tantric training--with them I've been able to have a nonejaculatory orgasm. But with a couple other people, it was as if their energy were so powerful that it overrode my ability to contract those sphincter muscles... and I had mild POIS symptoms for a few days. I'm starting to date someone though, and maybe I'll update on how that goes.
Thought I'd share in case others find it useful. Feel free to reach out if you want more info or have questions. I'm curious if others on here have any tips/tricks related to nonejaculatory orgasms as well... surely someone else on here has experienced it? (I notice zero search results for it, and only one thread in 2018 about tantra).
