POIS has many down sides when it comes to sex and can discourage us from ever engaging. I have had POIS for the entirety of my sexual maturity (since age 12). As a result, I have come up with alternative methods of gaining "sexual" pleasure.
The two areas of practice I focus on in order to derive a semblance of satisfaction from sexual behavior are as follows;
1) Tantra/meditative practices
2) BDSM
Now both are good alternatives yet not for everyone and can seem scary. If it scares you or feels like it may hurt you, I would implore you to not engage. If your still with me, and curious, here goes
Both tantra/meditation and BDSM can take the focus of sex away from the genitalia and give you a temporary or permanent sexual outlet until we cure this damn thing. Taking the focus of our genitals is essential in POIS especially in sexuality, even though that may sound counter-intuitive. it can be done, yet you make experience more mild arousal symptoms which are tolerable on a daily/bi-daily basis with POIS. I try to include one of these practices in my routine once a day to reinforce positive sexual feedback and forget about the pain my genitalia may cause me.
Meditation/tantra- I believe has been mentioned on the forum, as for BDSM I don't know, but I don know how to do it safely and in a fun way that is not scary for me or my partner.
I will not get too far into specifics. If you want tips/specific direction, do not hesitate to msg me, because this truly changed my mindset with-sexuality.
But I will say communication is key in these practices and so is knowledge. DO NOT try anything you uncomfortable with, do not understand, are uniformed or can hurt you physically or mentally!
Communication with a partner who understand POIS and BDSM- an where they can meet, can be a lifesaver.
i am not recommending self harm. Do not confuse the two. This subject is controversial among those who have healthy sex live and not all therapists agree, yet is becoming more widely accepted everyday.
For myself; compression in a body suit (zenti or morph) helps ground me (psychological technique) and focus sensation on my body and mind not my penis. It is pleasurable yet can be intense.
Most bondage I have tried is helpful, especially lighter stuff where you feel enveloped and loved without touching you penis.
Dressing up in silly ways (whatever floats your boat) can be fun.
I would stay away from anything with anal play and C&BT! I messes with you if you have POIS and can be unhealthy for healthy ppl.
Light impact play is fun and can be therapeutic (do not hurt yourself!).
Masks serve as an make-believe identity to where you can escape your POIS
Humiliation play is controversial but it wks for me since it gets alll the negative out and I don't have to think about it (must be with someone you trust deeply).
Now like I said these things are not for everyone and can be harmful if you don't understand them or have a negative connotation with them; so be careful. Feel free to ask me questions and msg me and I can go into details about how to safely do these things or just give recommendations. Ive been doing this for years to stay away form masturbation/sex and it helps but does not cure anything. Like I said I have gone over these things repeatedly with someone who is trained in sex-therapy and understand where they can be helpful and harmful.
Be safe and don't be afraid to ask questions. Happy trails
