Hi Neutral,
First, let me tell you that all that you have wrote in your post is easily understandable by any POIS sufferer here, but, for sure, very hard to understand for anyone else. We all experience this "being alone with POIS". That's why this forum is important for us.
I am one of the few who have managed to keep a long term relationship despite POIS ( 29 years, currently). But I definitively think that not any woman can fit with a man who has POIS. Like I have written elsewhere, some qualities are required ( and even when these qualities are there, it's not easy, let me tell you! ). First, this person must be centered in the heart, or said otherwise, must have a more mature worldview, or some spiritual outlook on life, or some abilities on the psychological level, and empathy. That's very limiting and leave not many candidates, because the current culture is oriented towards everything superficial and short-lived, and sex has become a consumable commodity. I hear from what you have wrote that you must be somehow an attractive man, so that may make it a little harder for you to find someone less superficial, among all the spontaneous interest you will trigger in most women ( as you mention, those immediate responses are often link to sexual drive).
Another quality I think is needed for a woman to live with a POIS sufferer is to be more intelligent than average. POIS is not easy to understand, you have to be with someone who has the intellectual space needed to understand such a rare disorder with its so many implication in your life. It is far too complicated for an average person to handle.
In short, a rather superficial person, having no noticeable heart qualities, with an average intelligence, may have the eyes of an angel and the body of a goddess, be lively, socially skilled and engaging, but you won't go very far with her, especially if her sex needs rank high in her priorities. You will appear far too "complicated" for her, who prefers easy and fast-food like contacts.
We have to be honest as POISer, we are not easy to live with, with this kind of total personality change we go through after having sex. If we want a long term relationship, we need a woman who is a kind of "informal caregiver", and is kind, patient and generous. For you to find a woman who has those kind of dispositions, you have more chance to find her in groups that are supportive for other persons ( like nurses, psychologists, members of caregivers team, charity, massotherapists, volunteers for a cause, or else...). It is far less likely to find this kind of person in a bar or in a party or through social media.
Try to be objective and see if the woman you consider to be the love of your life has this empath, "old soul" profile.
Even with this kind of person, the rate and specific time you have sex will have to be well managed, and communication will always be very important.
And, on our part, we have to be, when out of POIS, kind, benevolent, patient, supportive and loving, to compensate for our "dark side". Also, doing everything possible to minimize your POIS symptoms, be it diet change, supplements, psychotherapy, anything, will be a great plus for your relationship.
What's your reaction to all of this?
That's only my opinion, though. I hope other members will express their view, especially those who, like me, are in a long term relationship.
I wish you to find the best person possible for you, Neutral!
