Kid from Chi-Town needs help asking his parents for help. If you don't have time to read this giant essay, please scroll to the bottom. Thank you.
POIS has ruined temporarily ruined my athletic career and for sure my grades. I realized something was up as early as 8th grade. I thought everyone felt the same after whacking/having sex, etc. I started talking to other people, and the only other person who has a similar experience is this black kid who's like my best friend.
I should probably mention that I have ADD as well. I was put on ADD meds in 8th grade. The Meds made me into an freaking genius. I could do tough math problems in my head, I would get 100% on all my tests. I was an extremely good public speaker. I had straight As at a highschool that is considered pretty competative. I was also a very charismatic, funny kid.
In 6th grade, before I learned about masturbation, I was a sick middle linebacker. I had never been beat in a foot race-EVER. I was so fast that I could run all over the damned field and make like 9 tackles per game. I was pretty big then too, and I still am. In 7th grade I started getting outrun by some. I heard somewhere that masturbation before athletic events increased testosterone levels and made you better. I whacked the night before football games. I didn't feel like I belonged on the field, and felt out of touch. I only made 4-5 tackles per game. Even into my freshman year I was good at football. I didn't start like I used to but I could still destroy some kids.
I was even better at track than I was at football, I set a record at my school for triple jump and I came in first in Long Jump for my highschool conference.
Sophmore year my grades started going south, but they were still As and Bs. I started getting a bit depressed towards the end of my sophmore year, which was odd because it seemed like everything was coming together for me.
I had acne, which went away. Girls started going completely nuts over me which was awesome. I had won conference in long jump against the odds and expectations of everyone (my best friend who's black is also my rival in many events, he was suppose to win but I beat him). I started hanging out with people who were actual friends of mine, we formed a clique that I was pretty much the leader of.
Then, everything went straight to hell. First I developed an awful, awful depression and fatigue. I got terrible cystic acne which ruined my appearemce. I came into to Junior year an ugly, depressed, S.O.B. I started acting extremely odd and socially awkward.
My grades went in the tank, I started acting very weird, talked way too much and rambled on and on about shit. I started getting terrible anxiety attacks.
I lost everything-the girls, the relative popularity, my charisma, my intelligence, my future, the only thing I was good at was track. Late that year, I started sucking at track too, I was suppose to go to state, I got fatigued, and I chocked.
I quit senior year football. The fatigue has never quite gone away since May.
I thought about everything. Suicide, and even running away with a tent, a gun and some supplies, and starting a new life of isolation in the wilderness of the western United States.
The only thing that has kept me from killing myself or going AWAL is that I started a very, very successful business. Somehow I have the energy to do it. I'm afraid that POIS will eventually ruin this too. Its really the only thing I have left in my entire life is my business and money.
Sometimes I feel pretty good. I still have a few friends. My life is not the worst but its a shadow of what it could have been. I had everything I wanted, I could've been so happy.
You don't realize what you have until you've lost it. I didn't realize how well I had it. I honestly did not like my life in middle school because so many people picked on me. I beat a few kids up, but it didn't help.
If there is a god, perhaps he's punishing me for not appreciating what I had.
I am a very determinded person. I refuse to let this condition ruin my life any further. I am going to fight with whatever I have left and this peice of shit condition is not going to stop me from fucking hot-ass girls, making bank, and ultimately succeeding.
You probably don't have time or don't care to read my life story^ LOL. Endless rambling about the past. But if you could do me a favor and read this...
There's a doctor in
California who treats this disease, I need to go him because I cannot live like this anymore. I can't let my life be ruined. However, I am only 18 and I live with my parents, how the hell do I tell them I have this condition? I need their permission to go to feaking california bc I live in Chicago and for their health insuramce. WTF Do I DOOOO?
Thank you all for your time. Sorry if I came across to you as a braggart, or some sort of jerk. I'm actually a decent kid who just wants everyone to know how I used to live large. I want to live again, and I need your help.
