Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome (P.O.I.S.)
General Category => General POIS Discussions => Topic started by: POISrival on February 09, 2016, 05:07:46 PM
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Is there any advice on how I can cope with suicidal thoughts if i can't go to a psychiatrist? I mean, Have anyone passed through that and might have a piece of advice?
I'm so lonely in my agony. I don't have anyone to show sympathy for me because I can't tell anyone about the awful syndrome im suffering from.
I can't even tell a friend or my parents, because i will be blamed for it. in a superstitious religious society like the one i live in, people will claim i suffer from POIS because I did the sin of masturbation and God is punishing me. my reputation will get ruined. my parents will not hold the same respect they have for me. and i will suffer from much more psychological pressure alongside with the one i already have because of POIS.
I don't even have anyone who would tell me " I feel for you " or show some empathy for me. I hate the world. I hate the fact I suffer and I can't have some relief. I hate my life and I want to end it. There is so many nights I spend heavily crying. I can't remember what being normal feels like anymore.
My conscious is blaming me for talking about that here,since everyone here is suffering like me and my words are not helpful to anyone here. but I'm really deperessed and I don't even know why I should be alive anymore. POIS is there even when i don't masturbate. I do anything i can and i still fail to get a grasp of my life. I need help.
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If you are suicidally depressed, PLEASE call 911 (999 in the UK) -- and/or call either the USA or the UK -- or other countries' --Suicide Hotline contact numbers listed below!
Best wishes,
demo
1-800-273-TALK and 1-800-SUICIDE (USA)
Samaritans:
116 123 (UK)
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
In (India):
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/india-suicide-hotlines.html
(Other countries):
http://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk
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Hi, POISrival,
I sent your way the most empathy and the most support that can be sent through an internet message. Just know you are not alone in the world with this problem, and that research is going on, and every week, members share valuable input, new solutions for relief of POIS, and little by little, we make progress, and,as you already know, be sure that it has nothing to do with masturbating or not ( if that would be that case, near 100% of teenagers would have POIS !)
Considering you have POIS symptoms even if no recent ejaculation, I strongly suppose that you may have developed something else along the way, like a depressive mood secondary to POIS. POIS is a burden, and in itself have a depressive effect. However, after a week or so, by definition, symptoms subsides if there is no other release. If you had no release for 3 to 4 weeks, POIS symptoms are not likely to stick to a level that makes your life miserable, like if on day 2 of POIS acute phase. I, for one, very wel know that it is possible to develop secondary psychological problems like anxiety, not caused directly by POIS, but by the fear of POIS and the psychological pressure and, I can say, the inner rebellion about the fact of having POIS. I no longer have this, after to years of meditation, yoga and psychotherapy, and learning to lessen my symptoms, but I hear you when you say that POIS puts a lot of psychological pressure on yourself. So, I tell you, there is a way out of this, hang on, POISrival.
If you feel very bad even if no recent release,, I suggest you see your primary physician, to see if anything else could be at play in your case, on top of POIS. Maybe high anxiety, due to the rigidity of your cultural environment,
Anyway, just for the fact that you have suicidal thoughts, you should get professional help ( it does not have to be a psychiatrist, you know, as family physicians can at least diagnose and bring help for depressive states).
I don't know about availability of medical care in your place, but if any is available, look for help lines, where you can call and get help, as well as other services, like a nurse or concealing service at school, or other ( I have no idea of your age, that is why I say at school, but might me at work as well). If this is possible in your situation, psychotherapy could be of great help ( it has been, and still is, for me). Your psychotherapist can become the trusted person you need in your life to talk with. Psychotherapist are not doctors, but they help a lot with emotional issues like you have now.
You can talk with your parents about your suicidal thoughts, without having to say anything about POIS. Just refer directly to the symptoms that POIS causes you. Say you have fatigue, that you feel depressed, that you are anxious. In fact, that could quite be the case that it is not all related to POIS, if it persists without any E. Telling part of the truth, and protecting a part of your intimacy, is not lying, you know, it is just that, protecting your secret garden, your intimacy. If they ask you why you fell that way, just say that you do not know, and that is true, because we still have no idea why a normal physiologic relfex like ejaculation can cause those symptoms, so it is quite true that we do not know at all why we have those symptoms. This way, you respect yourself, without making up any fanciful story that could cause you further problems.
At the least, continue writing to us, here, where you can safely write about your POIS.
I am wishing you to get better, POISrival, as soon as possible!
Quantum
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If you are suicidally depressed, PLEASE call 911 (999 in the UK) -- and/or call either the USA or the UK Suicide Hotline contact numbers listed below!
Best wishes,
demo
1-800-273-TALK and 1-800-SUICIDE (USA)
Samaritans:
116 123 (UK)
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
Great info, Demo. That is the kind of help line I was referring to.
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Hey PoisRival
There is no need to feel like as if you have a guilty conscious, we are all in the same boat here. Many of us go through phases where we feel at our lowest and hopeless. I know these are just words but I can assure you I've also been through times where I felt rock bottom and somehow managed to uplift myself. I also always kept my problem a secret for many years so if you unable to express yourself elsewhere I think this place is a good place to express your feelings. I think most people here on the forum are open minded enough to understand and relate. I do think it might be a good thing though for you to find and make personal contact with someone you can trust. I personally also went through a moment when my thoughts were going in the wrong direction when I was as low as one can be but I somehow managed to re-gain control. Remember that sometimes we go through times where bad thoughts keep coming back when the illness takes control but it is always possible to have more positive thoughts than negative ones thereafter. It's not you but the illness that's doing this to you.
It's the middle of the night for me here where I am, I could not sleep and so came across your post.
Take care,
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If you are thinking of suicide, PLEASE call 911 (999 in the UK) -- and/or call either the USA or the UK -- or other countries' --Suicide Hotline contact numbers listed below!
Best wishes,
demografx
1-800-273-TALK and 1-800-SUICIDE (USA)
Samaritans:
116 123 (UK)
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
In (India):
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/india-suicide-hotlines.html
(Other countries):
http://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT WE ARE NOT PROFESSIONALLY EQUIPPED AT POISCENTER TO HELP YOU WITH MAJOR DEPRESSION, SUICIDE AND/OR OTHER FORMS OF SIMILAR, SERIOUS DISTURBANCES.
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Quantum and less_fogged, you are so helpful with your thoughts, ideas and empathy.
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POISrival, I can only say that I was once in a very similar frame of mind.
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Hi Poisrival,
Thank you so much for finding the courage on here to talk about your feelings, in spite of how horrible they must be for you, and I know many of us have been through some similar feelings, but also have come through that phase and got out the other side. You can also.
I can understand from what you describe how you would just like to stop the pain that’s making elements of your life so hard or unbearable. Anything remotely positive is hard to see when you are very down.
I hope you know that there is compassion and kindness for you at this low point from guys here on the forum and also will be from others who care for you and the counsellors who will care about you if you can ask them for help.
Getting support will help you to stop the pain you feel and rediscover good reasons for living. There is a body of ongoing work to help "poisers" but also you may have something else (another health condition) underlying, that is making your pois phase so much worse for you.
Please ask for help.
When you are feeling so low, I know you can't see solutions, but there are evolving solutions once you seek the right support.
No doubt you have mixed feelings about anything to do with taking your own life, so I think we all urge you to reach out to family, friends and/or medical people and specialists (there's a lot of free services out there), I have accessed them over the decades and it has helped me get through to a much better place. I believe I am a better person because I went through the darkness. You will be also. You don't need to mention pois to anyone, just your symptoms and particularly how you are feeling. Quantum is correct.
This impulse to end it all which you may have from time to time, however overpowering, does not last forever.
Bringing up the subject of suicidal thoughts with a person who understands and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.
Please talk openly about your suicidal thoughts and feelings.
We don't know where you are, so hopefully these links / lists below can help to start your search for support, if you think family of friends might judge you.
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
A useful free online tool for tracking your mood (when in mild to moderate depressed state) and setting up a buddy system where someone knows to give you a call if you are down.
Www.moodscope.com
Please reach out to professionals and take a risk.
With warm wishes and renewed wellness.
Colm
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Quantum and less_fogged, you are so helpful with your thoughts, ideas and empathy.
And Colm!
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Is there any advice on how I can cope with suicidal thoughts if i can't go to a psychiatrist? I mean, Have anyone passed through that and might have a piece of advice?
I'm so lonely in my agony. I don't have anyone to show sympathy for me because I can't tell anyone about the awful syndrome im suffering from.
I can't even tell a friend or my parents, because i will be blamed for it. in a superstitious religious society like the one i live in, people will claim i suffer from POIS because I did the sin of masturbation and God is punishing me. my reputation will get ruined. my parents will not hold the same respect they have for me. and i will suffer from much more psychological pressure alongside with the one i already have because of POIS.
I don't even have anyone who would tell me " I feel for you " or show some empathy for me. I hate the world. I hate the fact I suffer and I can't have some relief. I hate my life and I want to end it. There is so many nights I spend heavily crying. I can't remember what being normal feels like anymore.
My conscious is blaming me for talking about that here,since everyone here is suffering like me and my words are not helpful to anyone here. but I'm really deperessed and I don't even know why I should be alive anymore. POIS is there even when i don't masturbate. I do anything i can and i still fail to get a grasp of my life. I need help.
Hi, POISrival --
I've just sent you a Private Message (PM). Probably others have also sent you PMs.
So, please log in and check your messages.
We all hope you're feeling a bit better!
Stef
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We love you POISrival!! You can tell us anything you want and we'll definitely support you as much as possible.
POISrival, right now we're in a very good position. Just compare mentally where we are right now to where we all were, say like, 5 or 10 years ago, a HUGE night/day difference.
In my opinion we are well on our way to, at the very least, get a MUCH better understanding of the cause of our symptoms, and very possibly a complete resolution of the symptoms we all experience.
Now is the time to erase those thoughts and embrace the very real possibility of having a complete solution to our suffering in the very near future. Don't be shy if you need someone to comfort you in the meantime.
I, or someone else, will be more than happy to verbally comfort you and talk about whatever you're feeling at the moment. POIS can cause a lot of emotions or depressed feelings for some of us, either directly or indirectly. It's not completely out of bounds "abnormal" to have those types of thoughts once in a while, especially with a terrible illness. I'm sure it happens to more peeps than they would admit, and it doesn't mean you will act on it.
Swap those feelings with thoughts of the very real & encouraging situation we are in right now. Now is the best time EVER for a POISer, and it will only get better as time goes on, as more information is gleaned via the research process. Stay well POISrival!!
We're here when you need us. At PoisCenter, we do it right!
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Quantum and less_fogged, you are so helpful with your thoughts, ideas and empathy.
And Colm!
And Stef!
and Prancer!
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Egypt Suicide Hotlines
Befrienders Cairo
61 Al Zahara St
Jeddah St
Mohyaldeen, Muhandesen
CAIRO
EGYPT
Hotline: 762 1602/3
Hotline: 762 2381
Website: http://ww1.befrienderscairo.com
E-mail Helpline: befrienders@befrienderscairo.com
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Hi POISrival,
Please understand that you are not alone. We all are hopefully fighting this hell disease. I am sure that in the near future we all will be able to live like others.
I too had thoughts about suicidal attempt in my mind until I found a 'tentative' solution. I suggest it for you. Learn Yoga and practice it daily. It will stop almost all the negative thoughts coming to your mind. Please refer to my previous posts to know which Yoga is suitable for this disease.
None of us should commit suicide because of this hell. We have done nothing wrong to anybody in this world. We should take it as a challenge to live our life happily no matter the fact that we are affected by POIS.
Thanks all for supporting him.
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Thank you, Hopeful Indian.
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Thank you all for your replies and concern
I really needed to open up about my feelings to someone and I needed to hear such replies.
I was an empty space where everything seemed so meaningless. All the pain and suffereing of POIS that I would not be rewarded for. I also felt very lonely because i couldnt express my real feelings to anyone around me.
Talking about my feelings to you and letting them out in written words made me able to look at the whole thing from outside. I see now how far things got, and they shouldn't be that way.
Im going to try more efforts to make my life better.
Thanks again.
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POISrival, I am very happy that you feel better now :) But you should get professionnal help anyway, since feeling better now is one thing, but feeling good is another thing. And, you have to prevent the relapse of those very negative thoughts and feelings, by working on those thoughts and feeling with a trusted professional.
Also, keep the help lines phone numbers mentioned here, and do not hesitate to use them at the very first suicidal thought.
Whenever you feel the need to, do not hesitate to write here, on the forum. You will feel the empathy of the forum members. As you see, it helps to talk with people that understand our condition and what we have to go through.
Take care of yourself, PR, and keep us updated on how you are doing :)
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Glad to hear your thoughts are getting positive again. We were getting worried about you.
After all, putting the mind to positive thinking is a part of combating the aggressiveness of the symptoms.
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I would be happy to provide my cell phone number to anybody just send me a pm. Sometimes I think it's better to communicate with fellow poisers than some random person on the phone who probably has no idea what POIS can feel like. I'd be glad to communicate via text.
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I have not only battled with POIS most of my life, but also depression that was made worse because of POIS. I will even say it--I did attempt suicide once and the plan was foiled by fate (thank God).
I will tell you this much from my experience (and my culture also has many of the same pressures that you mention).
1. You are special and unique in this world. You are put here for a reason, and it is for the good of the entire world. You are a beacon of light even though you don't feel like it. You will understand this words later. But believe them now because they are true and you need to understand and accept this now to help you heal.
2. Your depression is probably cognitive, which means a lot of it comes from the way you perceive the world around you. Look for truths and you will probably find that you are much harder on yourself than the world is.
3. As alone as you may feel, you are not alone. There are others that know EXACTLY how you feel. And they long to connect with you too. And many of them are beautiful women and that will be proud to spend time with you. (I kid you not on this last one--I've learned from experience that I could have been with A LOT more women before I got married if I would have recognized that I really wasn't alone.)
4. POIS sucks...big time. But it will not stop you from living a normal life. It is luckily a physiological condition, and there are many things you can try as 'home remedies' while the research is done for a medical remedy. For many of us, niacin, zinc, fish oils, oysters, sushi, krill oil, flax seeds, and more have been very helpful in managing the symptoms to levels that we don't notice anymore.
5. Eat! One of the fastest cures for any depression is to eat. But don't just eat anything--eat healthy things. Be good to yourself, and you will feel better because you truly will be better.
6. Ignore the world and its problems. When down in the depths of depression, this is your time to reconnect with yourself and to question the negative thoughts--constantly question the negative thoughts! You'll find that a lot of the negative 'facts' are actually colored versions of the truth. Seek the real truth and believe it. Build yourself and self-esteem back up with the truth. And once you are solid once more, enter the world stronger and more ready for its challenges. And don't be afraid to be sad.
7. Cry. Cry it all out. Crying has been the most amazing evolutionary gift given to human beings. It is the only physical way to truly cleanse out emotions that are bothering us. I'm a man and I'm not afraid to cry. Watch a chick flick with me and you'll know I'm not lying. :)
8. Keep in touch with us here and on other social outlets. Online isn't the same as in person, but it always helps to talk to other human beings that understand.
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Excellent post Samir, thank you, and big welcome back! Every once in a while I come across a post that is just very special and really has a big impact. Another example of this was mellivora's post just a little over a year ago when he showed us this amazing article/list (see bottom). At first I thought it was just going to be more quackery nonsense that I often see, but it is not, and is actually a very beautiful list. So thank you Samir for this most recent awesome & inspiring post!!
Here's mell's awesome recommendation too, since I mentioned it: http://themindunleashed.org/2014/07/30-things-start-4-absolutely-vital.html
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Welcome back, Samir!
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Excellent post Samir, thank you, and big welcome back! Every once in a while I come across a post that is just very special and really has a big impact. Another example of this was mellivora's post just a little over a year ago when he showed us this amazing article/list (see bottom). At first I thought it was just going to be more New Age nonsense that I often see, but it is SO NOT, and is actually a very beautiful list (so glad I read it!).
So thank you Samir for this most recent awesome & inspiring post!!
Btw, here's mell's lovely recommendation too, since I mentioned it: http://themindunleashed.org/2014/07/30-things-start-4-absolutely-vital.html
PS: I agree about the huge progress made since you last visited! Very encouraging.
Thank you! mell's recommendation is quite inspirational. And it inspired me to share my thoughts and insights:
- 1 is so true. The right people in your life make it much more rich. The wrong people can actually tear your successes down.
- 2 is very important if you want to make progress in anything. You can't solve a problem without getting to the root cause--and that means hitting it head-on to understand the root cause.
- 3 is a very hard concept, but so easy to do if you mentally let go of everything around you for a second. And then you'll see everything as it truly is. And truth awakens the real you.
- 4 is different for everyone. Only you know what makes you happy and how much happiness you need. Happiness has to be balanced with everything else in life, but you have to make sure you're making sure things are in place for you to be happy--and that takes some planning. 100% on caring for others--you definitely CANNOT do that while you're not okay. It's just a recipe for disaster.
- I wish I would have discovered 5 earlier in life. In the US, you are taught and molded to be like others around you and the crowd vs being truly unique (because truly unique can also equate to weird). But in that process of molding, you can lose your true self. Don't fall into this. Everyone has their day in the sun, so don't be someone else to chase the sun--let the sun come to you--and it will.
- Don't take 6 too far. If you live only in the moment, you'll have no past and future, which means no history, and you'll find your life a bit hollow.
- 7 is very, very difficult to get a grasp of until the revelation of the lesson comes to you--and this can take decades. But remember that everything bad, every mistake, every failure is definitely something you had to go through for a greater success later--and you'll understand it when you reach that successful point. I've seen this many, many times in my life already and now welcome the lessons.
- 8 is sometimes easier said than done, but is very important. You can be your own worst enemy. Don't be.
- 9 is critical and goes hand-in-hand with 6. Living in the moment is about enjoying the things you already have--friends, family, possessions, air to breathe, water to drink, etc. I'm always thankful for mind and that it's as good as it is.
- 10 is incorporating elements from 6, 9, and even 7. Happiness is truly found within. You can actually be completely content without anything (it's the basic principle behind Buddism). And while most of us won't shed everything to be in a zen-like state of nirvana, being able to close our eyes and be content and happy with just breathing can be a great solace and comfort in the bad times.
- 11 is important to do, but intelligently. The litmus test I always use is--Will I regret this on my deathbed if I didn't try it? If the answer is yes, then it's a do or die thing for me to do in my life.
- 12 is important when it reinforces the truth. DOn't try to psyche yourself into beliving you can jump off a cliff and fly--it won't happen.
- 13 is critical to be happy with someone else. It was only until I told myself that I do deserve someone in my life did my wife just 'appear' out of thin air (the opportunity to meet her anyways). Prior to that, I only took what came along, never beliving that I deserved someone--and that was self-sabotaging.
- 14 is great because it expands your horizons and keeps you curious about the world around you and the people in it. But keep #1 in mind--you don't want to give bad people a chance. I always look for 'dealbreakers' that let me know I need to cut someone off.
- 15 is something I actually don't practice because set backs can bring you down, even if you're comparing with a previous version of yourself. Everyone is always pushing to move forward, seeing a move backward as equating to failure. But if you're not comparing, you're not worried about going forward, backwards, or running in circles--you're then able to focus on what is personal success and happiness for yourself--and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.
- 16 is great for knowing when you're truly happy. If someone else's happiness brings you down, it's time to look within to see what's wrong. Happy people are positive people--they smile, enjoy others happiness, and are encouraging and make the world a better place. And we can all be happy people, but we have to find it within ourselves and have enough for ourselves first.
- I still struggle with 17, but when I look for the truth in any situation, I always see it staring at me. And because I'm true to myself, I acknowledge it and use it as part of my solution in whatever tough situation I'm in.
- 18 is tough for me. I still don't forgive those when I don't see justice, and I can't trust that justice will just come. On the other hand, I have learned that every bad thing is for a greater good, so it does help me move on without dwelling.
- 19 is easy when you're happy. Even the smallest things help too--holding the door for someone, smiling at someone and saying hi. Little things can mean the world to someone who's down.
- 20 is something I wish I did earlier in life. My inner voice is BRILLIANT and has some serious intuition. My photography is pure intuition and yet it creates some stunning art that others appreciate. I would never have created that art studying the rules and best practices of photography.
- 21 is something I still struggle with. I don't plan my breaks as well (because I pretty much don't have time to breathe right now), but I am starting to become aware of the health consequences of pushing myself too hard and I back off knowing that I could end up with a heart attack and then not come close to completing whatever goal I want.
- 22 is something I've always been good at and it's a key part of keeping me happy. I woke late this morning and had a lot of things I couldn't do in the morning, and yet I noticed a very beautiful sunrise peeking through the clouds and spoke aloud 'that is just beautiful'. I acknowledged the beauty of the world in that brief 2 second moment--and it reinvigorated me to face my troubles with new ardor.
- 23 is important for perfectionists. I used to beat myself up when things weren't perfect. What I've learned is 'anything short of perfection is excellence', which means it's still leagues better than 'good' or 'satisfactory'.
- 24 is a core concept for long term success and reaching your dreams. A dream is just a goal with a plan. A plan is just a series of small steps or tasks to complete. And then a dream is nothing but a bunch of tasks to execute. Self-made millionaires and people that drive Ferraris and Aston Martins follow this (an Aston Martin owner told this to my good friend a decade ago).
- 25 is important because emotional intelligence is a core part of knowing the truth about yourself and your level of happiness. Emotions cannot be bottled and need to be expressed or you'll have a lot of turmoil inside of you. To be emotional and express emotions is to be human--don't forget that.
- 26 is something a lot of people struggle with. And when someone else has to come in and fix your problems, you literally do become their slave. Don't let that happen. You are never given anything in life that you can't handle--believe in that and hit your problems head-on today.
- I'm terrible at 27. I have so many relationships that I've not nurtured and many have fallen to the wayside. But I know a big part of a full, rich, and fulfillingly happy life is having those people in my life again. It's on my to do list because that dream is only a plan away. ;)
- 28 is very important of you'll be worrying and stressing for nothing. 'Give me the wisdom to change what I can, accept what I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference'.
- 29 goes hand in hand with planning your dreams. If a positive outcome is a dream and a dream is only a goal without a plan, plan it out and make it happen. I've done many things people have said is 'impossible' just by planning it out. Having a positive emotional charge does magical wonders I still don't fully understand and probably cannot understand as a human being, but it does work--I met my wife because I believed emotionally and mentally that I deserve someone in my life--and 'poof' I got a message on a website I was member of for almost a decade. That message was from my now wife. :)
- 30 goes hand in hand with 6 and 22. If you can do 6 and 22, 30 will come naturally.
Welcome back, Samir!
Thank you!
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Guys, I want to go painlessly. I try to commit suicide every week but just cannot reach it. I am even failing at committing suicide. Please tell me how to do it peacefully(and the easiest one). The ones around me will get sad but eventually, their life will go on and forget me.
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Guys, I want to go painlessly. I try to commit suicide every week but just cannot reach it. I am even failing at committing suicide. Please tell me how to do it peacefully(and the easiest one). The ones around me will get sad but eventually, their life will go on and forget me.
You shouldn't expect anyone to give you advice on that. I also felt utterly hopeless many-many times and kept suffering in the last 20 so years. That was until recently when I realized how stupid I was all along. My mistake was to always expect help from others, when in reality it is only up to ourselves to do something about it. There were times when suicide seemed the only option, but it would have been like letting POIS and doctors with their preconceptions be the winners and I couldn't have that. What is the point of death anyway? We will all die one day, but while one lives at least there is a chance for a change. It could be that you would find a really good solution to treat your POIS in say 5 years and from then on you could live a happy life. Would you just give up this possibility so easily? I know from experience how hellish POIS is, but I think many cancer patients would gladly switch with us any moment as at least this is not a lethal disease. As one benefit Covid-19 also gave a real research boost to this field and I think researchers are on the verge of discovering the whole mechanism of CFS, POIS and similar diseases. I could almost understand you if it was 20 years ago when there was not even a POIS study or a name for it. Many had suffered even then without avail, but nowadays there is just so much knowledge about this and we may only have to persevere a little more before POIS becomes a mundane easily curable or at least treatable disease. We also have to consider what we can do ourselves in the meanwhile as reporting our findings would make it much easier for researchers to figure out the whole deal.
I also feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster all the time which makes it much worse when I am at the bottom of the slope. I stopped drinking alcohol as it made this even more clear. I also took many anti-psychiatric drugs that mostly kept me at the bottom without helping much, but there could be times when they help with not feeling so bad or good at least. I have also come to realize that some beneficial treatments make me emotionally labile as being well also makes me comprehend my current state of life. So there is really no easy solution for these problems, but one has to learn to deal with these and also look at the bright side of things even if there is so much bad. I could also recommend a psychologist as that also helped me a few times. No, it really won't do anything about your POIS and they would not really understand your problems either, but at least they are compassionate listeners and it felt really good to talk to someone unrestricted without being taken for a fool right away. It really helps if you talk your problems out from time to time as they can accumulate like a burden. At the time their questions also helped me realize things about my plight that I would not have realized only listening to my own inner monologue. So everyone with such thoughts please keep persevering and DON'T let POIS be the winner!
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I really dont have money for therapy. I get huge acne which give me a lot of pain :'( . All over my body. I am broken. I cannot read anything. Everyday I feel hopeless to my wasted potential.
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I really dont have money for therapy. I get huge acne which give me a lot of pain :'( . All over my body. I am broken. I cannot read anything. Everyday I feel hopeless to my wasted potential.
Dealing with POIS and dealing with suicidal thoughts are really two different things even though one greatly affects the other. I've dealt with both a good portion of my life.
The POIS feeds the thoughts, so the place to start is with possible nutritional solutions. For me it took a few decades, but I've found that omega3 rich foods seems to keep me quite stable. My daily morning regiment consists of the following:
- GNC Performance and Vitality vitamin pack - available at Sam's club for 1/2 GNC prices: https://www.samsclub.com/p/gnc-mega-men-performance-vitality-30-count/prod16100145?xid=plp_product_3
- VEGA Essentials protein powder in Fairlife 2% milk with DHA - https://myvega.com/products/vega-essentials?variant=10378758029355 https://fairlife.com/ultra-filtered-milk-with-dha/2-percent-milk-dha/?nowebp
- basic multivitamin and turmeric (turmeric seems to help keep things good and has been used for eons by my ancestors in cooking
Foods:
- Deep Chicken Tikka Masala frozen meals and Samosas - these have a really high amount of natural fenugreek that my body loves and absorbs very quickly - https://deepindiankitchen.com/products/frozen/meals/chicken-tikka-masala/ https://deepindiankitchen.com/products/frozen/meals/spinach-chicken-tikka/ https://deepindiankitchen.com/products/frozen/appetizers/chicken-tikka-samosas/ https://deepindiankitchen.com/products/frozen/breads/garlic-naan/
Sushi, oysters and other seafood high in omega3 and/or zinc is also very good, but is expensive since it needs to be fresh for best effect. I will eat this out of necessity when I'm in bad shape with POIS.
So these are what I have found to help manage the physical side of POIS. Don't get me wrong though that there are still horrible days and times. But this regiment makes them less frequent.
With the physical under care, with the newfound stability and clarity, we can start to examine our mind and our thoughts. I have gone through decades of therapy so I'll share the takeaways that help me cope with human existence.
The first thing is to question your emotions. Like the little kid asking 'why'? Keep asking and answer yourself honestly. Why do I not want to live anymore? And then questions that answer with 'why'? And then keep going until you have your root answer, which may not at all be what you think it is. Many times this root answer can even be false. This won't immediately change your emotional state, but it will have an effect on your mind.
The next thing I have learned is distraction and other techniques to 'pull you out of the pit of despair'. The hardest thing is to make that effort to leave the pit, so it has to be something simple, something effortless. Whatever it is, that feeling of accomplishment is a first step on a staircase you can build that will help you get to normal functioning. It can be something as small as eating even when you don't feel like eating, but know you should. And in a situation like this, making a meal or even getting fast food may seem like a daunting task. So don't try so hard. Tell yourself to eat just one cookie. Now, we all know you can't eat just one cookie, so that will get you the strength and energy to then get a meal. This is just one example of how to use this technique. You can even use it with work--do something you enjoy first, then hit the things that you don't. That's actually what I'm doing now--I have serious time deadlines and pressures, but to get myself ready for them, I will first get my mind 'primed' by doing things I enjoy after I've had my morning regiment. After an hour of activities I like, it is very easy to dive into activities I don't.
Let's see what else can I think of at the top of my head...
Ah yes--ability and talent. Regardless of what this world and others have told you over the course of your life, you have exactly the talent and ability to deal with the moment of life you are in. My life experience has taught me that every single thing, good and bad, happens for the greater good in your life. Case in point is me talking to you now--it is only from the most horrible things that I have suffered that I can provide you the light of guidance from my experience. And to me, there's no greater gift than helping a fellow human being without needing something in return. You have talents and abilities that you have been given. Explore them, enjoy them, enhance them, and share them. When you find the joy of yourself, you'll find the happiness within. Case in point is that I make stupid jokes and parody songs that I write down. I sit and laugh to myself and enjoy it so much! And finally after 30 years, I met my wife who enjoys them as much as I do. In fact, just as writing this post, she called me and I did a Dr. Seuss pun right on the phone. Even if she didn't laugh, I was enjoying it. Finding these 'inner joys' do wonders for your happiness and make you less susceptible to the pains and worries of the outside world.
For the acne, I would try this soap that's sold in Indian stores--it's actually so good against bacteria that it can be used as a pre-surgery scrub--Dettol original (don't get any other varieties, just the original) https://www.dettol.co.in/personal-hygiene/bar-soaps/dettol-original-bar-soap-125-gm/. Try this for your normal bathing soap and see if it helps--should cost you about $1.50-$2.
It sounds like you have boils/cystic acne which can be very painful (my wife also gets this often). Another thing that should work is a small bottle of 'Tea Tree Oil' from Ulta--this stuff when it's real, it's NOT cheap at all per ounce, something like $10 for a fraction of a fluid ounce, but it only takes a drop or two on the blemish for it to get to work in 24-48hrs. My wife uses it all the time, and I've even used it once or twice with great results:
https://www.ulta.com/p/tea-tree-essential-oil-pimprod2006167
https://www.ulta.com/p/tea-tree-oil-xlsImpprod4190149
And continue posting here--many of us have gone through what you are going through and have made it to the other side. And we're happy to share what worked for us. 8)
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Well saided Samir and Progec..
Kakaw you will be ok , bolive me, you are stronger than this.
I been there, not knowing about thing that pois exist,
Severe cystic acne from teenegers years, no much info on internet for
acne...no info on pois etc..
For acne , you hawe meny info today,
check zink for acne, check diet..
i wuldnt recomed accutane, this drug
"destoryed" me..
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POIS is awful and debilitating. Put your hope to being the one solving this dilemma. I try new approaches all the time and find relief in this forum.
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I texted the Suicide Prevention Hotline
(by texting Hello to 741741) to test their system.
It works well.
They also offered me this description to post @ POISCenter:
"We are a support line for all ages, providing free, 24/7 crisis support through text messaging. Learn more at:
For more texting info:
https://bit.ly/CTLfaq_ref
For telephone chat:
Click here:
1.800.273.8255
(http://static-34.sinclairstoryline.com/resources/media/0e95fa94-2b2d-4345-b320-e41c96859023-large16x9_SuicidePreventionLifeline.jpg?1536623005052)
For list Of International Suicide Hotlines:
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
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TWO (2) MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES FOR ANYONE NEEDING SUPPORT IN A CRISIS.
[1.]
I texted the Suicide Prevention Hotline
(by texting Hello to 741741) to test their system.
It works well.
They also offered me this description to post @ POISCenter:
"We are a support line for all ages, providing free, 24/7 crisis support through text messaging. Learn more at:
For more texting info:
https://bit.ly/CTLfaq_ref
For telephone chat:
Click here:
1.800.273.8255
(http://static-34.sinclairstoryline.com/resources/media/0e95fa94-2b2d-4345-b320-e41c96859023-large16x9_SuicidePreventionLifeline.jpg?1536623005052)
For list Of International Suicide Hotlines:
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
[2.]
988 (telephone#) is a new system (U.S.) that recently went live to help people reach help in a mental health crisis.
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Old thread but: To anyone feeling this way, my heart goes out to you. I can relate to the extent that i feel severely depressed for days after an O due to this condition, but I have to remind myself it's just the illness & not permanent. The two main types of depression--situational & biochemical--have very different treatments but it sounds like OP's is situational, i.e. due to this condition. So focusing on ways to still have a sex life while minimizing the impact on overall functioning (work, social life, etc) should be the goal.
I find that certain positions are worse for me, and the longer the "session," the worse the symptoms. Therefore I can still m'bate but only under certain circumstances & when I have at least 48 hours to sleep afterward. Fatigue is my worst symptom by far. Take note of any patterns & experiment with things to see if they help, like write it all down in a journal so you can see the patterns over time. You're not doomed to be single forever with this; you just have to make some adjustments & be upfront with your partners.
Also regarding the suicide hotlines: if you're deemed to be in immediate danger & they send help, you'll be on the hook financially for it. People without insurance might wanna consider that before calling. Stupid American for-profit healthcare. Suicide is always an option but should be the very LAST option after you've exhausted absolutely everything else including extreme measures like ECT. It's permanent & is the only thing that will forever end any chance for you to improve, plus it passes all that pain onto your loved ones. As long as you're living, there's a chance things will get better. I've tried 26 different psych meds since I was a teen and only recently found one that makes any difference whatsoever (Adderall). It's a marathon, not a sprint. <3